


Diamy (Amy x Rosa) drabbles

by B99fangirlnextdoor, themetgayla



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: (fear of) spiders, But it’s alright in the end, Cute, F/F, Fluff, Love, Panic Attacks, Promise, Suicide, and it's so adorable, dark themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2019-10-29 01:59:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 41,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17798975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B99fangirlnextdoor/pseuds/B99fangirlnextdoor, https://archiveofourown.org/users/themetgayla/pseuds/themetgayla
Summary: Just a bunch of cute drabbles. Love, and fun <31. Rosa finds Amy having a panic attack2. Amy meets Rosa's dad3. Rosa gets a call from Amy and instantly fears the worst.4. Rosa gets hurt while on duty. Amy decides to help out5. Rosa and Amy chase a perp for 11 blocks in the pouring rain.6. I love you too.7. A night out gone wrong (TW!)8. But I love you the most (TW)9. What's a lil' bit of hunger (remix)10. You deserve it, the way you're workin' (EXPLICIT CONTENT)11. Pilot rewrite (S1 E1)12. Super short drabble on appearances and self-esteem (tbc)13. Truth or dare14. The cookie ( a continuation of #12)15. The cookie pt 216. The cookie pt 317. The cookie pt 418. The stakeout19. The cookie pt 520. The flight21. Cheddar22. The jacket23. Breathe me (TW!!!!)24. The kitten25. Teddy26. Rock Bottom27. Love & Rest28. Supermarket flowers*FINISHED. SOME OF THESE I'LL BE REWRITING TO GET ME BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS*





	1. Sometimes it's all a little too much

**Author's Note:**

> The first time it happened, Amy's parents wrote it off as stress, just as Amy wrote the 745th time off as stress.
> 
> The 746th time, however, it was different. It happened for no reason and without warning.

Rosa knocked on the bathroom door for what seemed like the billionth time. "Okay, fine, don't open up. I'll just bust this damn thing down." Unfortunately for Rosa, she was a private person, and therefore liked a door when she took a dump.

She did, however, excel at picking locks.

Within seconds the door was unlocked, and Rosa had braced herself for the possibility that Scully was using the ladies again, which was a sight she couldn't erase from her mind, not after last time. But behind that door wasn't a disgusting semi-naked middle-aged man, it was a quivering navy ball.

"Umm..." Rosa's mouth worked for a second, for once uncertain of what to say. "Santiago?" There was no reply, just light sobbing. "I'm going to go get Jake." Amy uncurled herself but didn't look up "N- no." her voice was cracked and broken. "Please don't." Rosa nodded, locking the door and awkwardly shuffling towards Amy. "Can I do anything?" Amy shook her head. "I'm... I'm going to stay with you for a while. Just until you calm down." Amy nodded, curling herself back up into a ball. Rosa sat down on the filthy floor, trying to not think about it too much.

Amy's panic only seemed to intensify. Ten minutes in and she'd uncurled herself, moving so her back was pressed up against the wall, coughing and gasping for air. Eyeliner dribbled down her cheeks, and her face itself was inflamed and puffy, but for Rosa, the most prominent thing was the blood streaming from her nose, which she appeared to be chocking on.

"Um... let me..." Rosa jumped to her feet, unravelling way more toilet paper than she needed and kneeled next to Amy, hesitating for a second. "Am I okay to touch you?" There was a pause as Amy coughed violently before nodding. "Lean forward for me," Rosa whispered as she wiped the excess blood off Amy's face. Thankfully, the stream had turned into drips. Amy did as she was asked, gripping Rosa's knee tightly with her right hand as drool began to tumble from her lips. Rosa dabbed at that too, but unlike the blood, it wasn't easing off. It just kept coming, unmopped bits dropping onto Amy's lap. All of a sudden. Amy shoved Rosa back, dragging her heavy, limp body forward and sticking her head over the toilet, retching in between gasps and splutters.

Rosa rubs Amy's back and lets her lean against her for support, so she didn't collapse there and then. "Is that it?" Amy nodded, wiping excess bile and saliva off her lips with her sleeve as her trembling body sinks lower onto the floor. Rosa cringes and directs Amy's body away from the puddle of what she's pretty sure is urine, allowing her to lay down, but only when Amy's feet are against the toilet and her head is as far away from it as possible. To say it wasn't ideal was an understatement.

"Hold on; I've got an idea. Wait here." Rosa makes sure Amy's lying in the recovery position before she stands up and heads towards the door, unlocking it and taking one last look over her shoulder at the quivering fallen body before heading towards her desk.

It feels like Rosa's gone forever.

But then she's back with a blanket and a pillow.

Rosa places the blanket on the floor, then puts the pillow on top of it, at the top. "Figured you'd appreciate not lying in other people's piss," Rosa whispered as she crouched down pulled a gasping Amy into her arms, carrying her over to where the blanket was, and then resting her on it. Amy was crying too hard to ask Rosa where she got it, but, to be honest, it shouldn't have mattered. It was clean, dry and it smelt of flowers. Rosa knelt next to Amy, rubbing her legs as she pulled her leather jacket off and laid it over Amy's body.

Amy lay there for a while, maybe half an hour. Gradually, quick, short gasps turned into steady, long breaths, with the occasional splutter. "Feel better?" Amy nods, slowly uncurling and turning to gaze up at Rosa. "Thanks for this." Rosa shrugs "No problem."

 

 


	2. The meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy finds out Rosa's dad wants to meet her. To say she's nervous is the understatement of the century.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long guys! I'm overseas dealing with a family emergency, so posts might be far and few between.
> 
>  
> 
> Not especially set in the series, but Rosa's parents know she's bi.
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and Kudus appreciated so much!! It tells me I'm doing something right!

4 days until the meeting

"Santiago!" Amy glanced up from her desk "Can we talk out on the roof?" A chorus of 'oooohhh' (s) erupted behind them. "Preferably before I kill these dummies." Amy nodded, trying not to freak out. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

 

*

  
"Don't freak out, but my dad wants to meet you."

“Wait, what? I thought your parents weren’t okay with you being bi?” Rosa fixed her girlfriend with a glare “Thanks for reminding me. That makes me feel so much better.” Amy scratched her arm awkwardly “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to... I just... I wasn’t expecting to ever have to, you know...” Amy gestured with her hands, trying to find the right words. “I know. But my dad says he’s okay with it and wants to meet you.” Amy’s face fell a little “What about your mum?” Rosa shook her head, averting her gaze so Amy didn’t have to see the tears welling up in her eyes. She really needed to get her tear ducts melted shut.

* * *

  
3 days till the meeting  
"Which one do you think?" Amy looked awful. Her hair was weaved into tight plaits and large purple bags hung under her eyes. "What's with the braids?" Amy glared at her girlfriend "What? Who cares? I don't have time to explain, just pick a dress." Rosa glanced at the two pretty dresses on the closet door. "This one shows a little bit of leg, whereas this one doesn't, I don't want him to think I'm a slut, but at the same time I don't want him to think I'm uptight." Rosa smiled to herself. Amy was adorable when she was panicky. "I say the black one." Amy glanced across to Rosa then back at the pretty black cocktail dress "Okay, let me try it on." Rosa sighed but perched herself on the end of the bed, watching appreciatively as Amy changed out of her work pantsuit and into the dress.

"What do you think?" Amy glanced at herself in the mirror, smoothing the dress down "It's not too short is it?" Rosa snorted - the dress came to a stop just above Amy's knees, which, in her world at least, was anything but 'short'. "Come on, I need your support here. I don't want your dad to hate me based on what I end up wearing." Rosa rolled her eyes as she stood up and rested her chin on Amy's shoulder, running her hands over Amy's body "Stop fretting. You look incredible. Dad is going to love you." Amy nodded "Okay. Thanks, Rosa." Rosa squeezed her girlfriend a little tighter as she slid her hand down towards Amy's crotch. Amy leaned into her girlfriend, tilting her head upwards so she could kiss Rosa's jawline. Dipping her head, Rosa returned the kiss, turning Amy for comfort, and walking backwards until her legs collided with the bed. Rosa was about to collapse onto the bed when Amy broke the kiss and pulled away. "Okay, that's enough. I need you to help me choose my jewellery."

* * *

  
2 days till the meeting

“You’re a grand old flag, you’re a high flying flag...” Rosa groaned and rolled onto her back, staring at the luminous clock on her bedside table. 4:12 am. This was the second night in a row Amy hadn’t slept. “Santiago, I know you’re stressed out about meeting my dad, but could you maybe sing weird old songs in your head?” Amy shook her head, still staring at the thick open binder in front of her as she hummed the song to herself. “Right, that’s it. You’re sleeping on the sofa.”

*

"God bless America, Land that I love, Stand beside her..." Sighing, Rosa rolled over onto her back, rubbing her eyes. At least she got a solid two hours sleep. "When did you crawl back into bed?" Amy shrugged "Does it matter? I need to go to the new stationery shop this morning to pick up more tabs." Rosa groaned "It does matter because as much as I love you, I need sleep." Amy didn't react to Rosa using the L word. She really had lost it.

*  
“Why the fuck won’t you print?” Amy slammed her hand against the top of the printer. “Just print!” Amy grabbed the printer, picking it up and throwing it on the ground. “Stupid thing!” Pulling her baton free, she extended it and began to smash the printer, grunting loudly and screaming obscenities at it while everyone just stared. Apart from Rosa, who was right behind her with the fire extinguisher. Angry Amy was hot.

*

"Look, Santiago. You're stressed." Amy glanced up from her binder, plaits hanging down in front of her eyes. "I'm not stressed. What makes you say that?" Rosa blinked. "Look, dude, I think you just need to chill. Here's $20 go to that stationary shop to get those tabs, maybe have a smoke, and then come back a little bit... less stressed." Amy frowned at her girlfriend "I don't smoke." Rosa sighed "Yes you do." Amy stood up, tugging her baton free from her belt and extending it, making Rosa jump a little. Growling, Amy approached Rosa, not breaking eye contact for a second as she pressed her baton against Rosa's neck "I said I don't fucking smoke."

Was it bad Rosa was seriously turned on right now?

*

Diaz, my office please.”

Rosa sighed. She'd finally got Amy to go out to the stationary shop, and all she wanted was five minutes of peace. Was that too much to ask? "Ooohh... someone's in trouble!" Rosa glared at Jake "Shut up." Jake pulled a face "Someone's got a bad case of the gwumpies today!" Rosa growled at him "I told you to be quiet." Jake's grin vanished "What's wrong with you?" Rosa rolled her eyes as she stood up "You don't need to know."   
*  
“Take a seat.” Rosa nodded and curled herself up into a nearby chair in front of Holts desk as he locked the door behind him, pulling the blinds closed. “I don’t want you to panic...” Rosas' stomach tightened painfully. Holts' voice was gentler than it normally was. Now she was panicking. “Detective Santiago was hit by a car.” Rosa froze as Holt took a seat. “She’s okay, luckily the car wasn’t going very fast - it’s just a few minor cuts and bruises and a sprained wrist.” Rosa nodded slowly as anger began to build in her stomach. “Why didn’t they call me?” Holt sighed “I believe they said something about your phone being engaged.” That made sense. Rosa has been on it all morning chasing leads. “Did they catch the guy who hit her?” Holt nodded “he’s been taken into the 9-3 for questioning, but they think it was just an unfortunate accident.” Rosa stood up; she couldn’t bear to sit any longer. “ I’m giving you the rest of today off to go meet her at the hospital, but aside from taking care of Santiago, I want you to stay out of it, is that understood?” Rosa sighed, squashing the urge to hunt this guy down and rip all his limbs off and giving a small nod.

*

  
Rosa wished she could say she wasn’t worried and only went to the hospital because Amy had no way of getting home. The truth was, once she was out of the precinct, she lept on her bike and nearly got into three accidents speeding there.

*

Amy pretended not to notice her girlfriend practically run into the waiting room, looking more than a little dishevelled, before she vanished into the bathroom. Rosa wasn’t one for emotions, and if she wasn’t yet comfortable expressing concern, Amy was okay with that. It was a stupid story anyway, that had involved trying to get to the stationary shop before it closed, and forgetting what her mother had taught her when she ran across the road.

 *

“Ready to go home?” Amy pulled a face “You’re not going to ask what happened?” Rosa glanced at her bruised girlfriend. Her left arm was resting in a sling, her lip was bust and she had a large black eye. “Don’t care.” Amy smiled to herself, knowing that was Rosas way of saying ‘I was scared and really don’t want to think about what could have happened to you if the car had been going faster’. “I love you.” Amy wrapped her good hand around her girlfriend's waist, resting her head on Rosas' shoulder as they walked back to the car. “Don’t go soppy on me Santiago.”

"I've no idea what we're going to do about my black eye. I don't think your dad would appreciate..."

 

* * *

  
One day till the meeting

"So what do you think?" Jake grinned broadly at Rosa "I think it's excellent you've come to seek my wise counsel, and I-" Rosa cut him off promptly "Don't make me regret this, Jake." Jake nodded "I say tire her out, how long has it been now?" Rosa shrugged "Three nights." Jake squinted at Amy, who was in the break room beating up the coffee machine. "I'm surprised she's not done that already, but she'll definitely fall asleep eventually." Rosa sighed "I know she will, Jake, but we're meeting my dad tomorrow. She needs to chill the fuck out." Jake turned back to Rosa, nodding absentmindedly as he picked up his water bottle (secretly filled with orange soda) and sipped at it. Rosa smiled, remembering the time she dosed his water when they were... she probably shouldn't think about that. Having a panic attack wasn't going to help anyone. "Why don't you take her out on a 'case'?" Rosa rolled her eyes "She has a busted arm, she's not allowed out." Jake nodded "I know, but if it wasn't a real case, she could work it, couldn't she?" Rosa shook her head "Holt's not allowing her out of his sight while she's like this. Something about her being a liability." Jake giggled "That's something I'd never thought I'd hear." Rosa grunted, "I know." Jake took another sip of his soda. "What about you just lock her in your bedroom with nothing to distract her and wait till she falls asleep?" Rosa shook her head "Tried that three nights ago. Had police knocking on my door because they thought I'd kidnapped her." Jake snorted, spraying Rosa with orange soda. " Ew! Dude, gross!"Rosa jumped up and wiped her jacket off, glaring at her immature friend.

"Well, there's only one other thing I can think of that'll help."

Rosa really didn't like the look on his face.

  
*  
"You've clearly gone off the deep end, Santiago." Amy didn't respond, slowly flicking through the pages of her binder. "Put the binder down." Amy shook her head "And what? Go into a meeting with your dad without knowing anything about him?" Rose nodded slightly, falling against the doorframe. "You're right." Amy looked up from the binder and blinked a few times. She was really tired, but did Rosa just say she was right? "Want me to quiz you?" Even in her foggy panic-stricken state, a warm heat raced through Amy's body as she glanced up to see Rosa stood in the doorway, smirking down at her. God, she was hot. Amy knew she needed to continue studying, but there was something magnetic about the way Rosa was looking at her.

Oh fuck.

*  
"Better?" Amy nodded sleepily, resting her head against the back of the sofa as Rosa pressed another kiss to her lips. "Can I... um... do anything?" Rosa chuckled breathily against Amy's neck. Amy was so adorable after sex. "No, you just get some rest. I'll go get myself cleaned up then I'll carry you into bed, okay?" Amy nodded, her eyes too heavy to keep them open.

*

Rosa walked in 20 minutes later to find Amy sprawled across the couch, the binder on the floor. Scooping her up into her arms, Rosa carried Amy through to their bedroom. "Here you go," Rosa whispered, laying Amy on the bed and tucking her in. Checking the time, Rosa decided to curl up next to her girlfriend, who was extremely hot when she wasn't randomly singing creepy songs.

 

 

* * *

  
Day of the meeting

"Morning, Santiago."

Amy opened her eyes to find Rosa standing next to her, breakfast tray in her arms. "Don't get used to it, I just can't remember the last time you ate a decent meal, and I don't want you cooking with one arm." Amy giggled as Rosa placed the tray on her lap "Someone's confident in their cooking abilities." Rosa rolled her eyes as she slumped on the end of the bed, rubbing Amy's legs over the covers subconsciously. "Ooohh... could you give me a foot massage?" Rosa looked down, realising what she was doing, and then glanced back up, flushing. "If you do... I could pay you back for last night?" Rosa scoffed "You've one working arm!" Amy took a bite of her pancake, syrup dripping off her lip a little. "There's a reason why I was dubbed most resourceful in class." Rosa froze. That shouldn't be hot. It really shouldn't. It was probably a title the teachers gave Amy so she didn't feel too left out.

 

But for some reason, today it was.

*

Amy loved showers. Especially in the morning when everything around her seemed so cold and the water was so lovely and warm. But showers with Rosa were definitely the best kind. Especially when you only had one working arm. "We need to get more adhesive ducks." Rosa rolled her eyes as she towel dried Amy's hair "No we don't. And I'm certain you're capable of doing your own damn hair." Amy grinned to herself, clutching onto her dressing table as Rosa continued to rub her head in the most incredible way. "I'm injured! You're my girlfriend, you have to take care of me!" Rosa snorted "Doesn't mean you aren't capable of doing your own hair."

Rosa stopped rubbing and let the towel fall to the floor "There. Done." Amy shook her head "Come on, you know I have to blow dry and straighten my hair in the morning." Rosa shook her head "No, I think we should go for curls." Amy glanced up at her girlfriend, grinning broadly "I didn't know you had a thing for curls." Rosa shrugged "Nobody does."

  
*

"Stay still, or I'm going to stab you in the eye."

Amy tried not to giggle as Rosa did her eyeliner for her "I still don't get why you can't do this yourself, you still have your other arm." Amy rolled her eyes "I've hurt my dominant hand. Have you seen me try to do eyeliner with my right hand? It's always a disaster. I don't want your dad thinking I can't do makeup." Rosa scoffed "Yep, that's going to be at the forefront of his mind." Amy swallowed a rising lump "Maybe you could just pass me the binder?"

"No."

*

"There. Done." Rosa stepped back from her girlfriend and let Amy look in her mirror over the dressing table. "Oh... Rosa... I look..." Amy looked up towards the ceiling, blinking rapidly. She was not going to ruin her incredible makeup. "Hot as fuck." Amy giggled a little, dabbing at her eyes with a cotton pad. "It's waterproof makeup. I'm not stupid, and you're an emotional wreck." Amy stared at her girlfriend in wonder. How did she ever find someone as incredible as Rosa? Rosa rolled her eyes "Don't go soppy on me, Santiago." Amy frowned. Her girlfriend can now read her mind?

*

"You ready for this?" Amy shook her head, curls bouncing off her shoulders. "Why not?" Amy shrugged, still staring at the footwell in front of her "I don't know. I want your dad to like me but I don't think he will because I don't have a... you know." Amy awkwardly gestured to her crotch "A cock?" Amy nodded "Amy, my dad wouldn't have invited us to dinner if he wasn't ready. Sure, he might be shocked at first, but he'll get over it soon enough." Amy nodded a little, still unconvinced "If the worst should happen, which it won't, fuck him. What does dad know about love?" Amy looked up into her girlfriend's eyes. She was so fucking beautiful. "You're an incredible person Amy, you need to stop letting people's narrow-minded opinions get you down. People suck, you don't." Amy smiled "Thanks, Rosa. What about you, are you ready?" Rosa nodded "Let's do this."

"Dad, this is Amy. She's my girlfriend." Oscar smiled at Amy, offering his hand "It's a pleasure to meet you." Amy glanced over at Rosa, struggling to hide her excitement as she took his hand. "And you." Oscar pointed to the table behind him, and the three of them took a seat. Rosa and Amy next to each other, and Oscar opposite them. "So, Amy, what do you do?"

*

"That was incredible!"

"Told you he'd be fine." Amy grinned, squeezing Rosa's hand tighter and resting her head on her shoulder, the cool winter air wrapping around them. "I'm so glad he likes me." Rosa smiled to herself as she gazed up at the pretty street lights. "Come on. Let's get you home." Amy giggled " Eager to see me out of this dress are we?" Rosa rolled her eyes "Shut up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments and kudos and I'll love you forever <3


	3. Rosa, I'm scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rosa, I'm scared."
> 
> Rosa gets a call from Amy and instantly fears the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this isn't as dark as it looks

It was the light streaming through a gap in her floral print curtains that woke Amy up. Sliding her leg out slightly, she jumped as it made contact with another warm object. Amy smiled to herself; she still wasn't used to waking up next to another person, least of all the incredible Rosa Diaz. Rolling over onto her side, she pressed a kiss onto her girlfriend's forehead "Morning baby." Rosa groaned, letting her eyes flutter open "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me baby, Santiago?" Amy giggled "Sorry, I forgot." Rosa rolled onto her back, rubbing her eyes "Yeah? Well 'forget' again, and you'll regret it." Amy bit her lip "Will I?" Rosa didn't answer, just pulled herself on top of her girlfriend, pinning her firmly by her shoulders as her hair fell into Amy's face.

*

"Hey, Santiago! Stop grinning. This is punishment."

* * *

 

"I can't believe they're making me take the day off." Rosa snorted into her morning tea as she headed out "I know. What's next? Bonuses?" Amy rolled her eyes "I'm serious! I'm in the middle of a case, and I don't want to sit around all day." Rosa grabbed her keys and opened Amy's door, only turning around when Amy pulled her into a morning kiss.

They stood there for a solid 5 minutes.

"Okay, Santiago, I've got to go, or I'll be late." Amy nodded and reluctantly pulled away, closing the door behind her girlfriend. Turning back to her now empty flat, she slumped onto the sofa and turned the tv on, flicking through the channels until she came across a documentary on penmanship.

Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.

 

* * *

 

"Amy, what have I told you abou-"

"Shut up."

Rosa froze. It wasn't like Amy to be curt with her. Or anyone for that matter.

"I- I need you to come home."

Rosa stood up, grabbing her helmet and keys off her desk as the entire bullpen turned to stare at her.

"Please. He's really scary."

The first thing that ran through Rosa's mind was Adrain. Amy had always been nervous of him, and he hadn't taken the breakup well at all. She wished she could say her ex wouldn't dare do something to harm Amy, but with him, there were never any guarantees.

"I'm on my way. I'll bring backup, okay?"

There was no answer.

"Sir!" Rosa jogged into the displeased Holt's office "I've just got a call off Santiago. I think she's being held hostage by Pimento. " Holt nodded, standing up "Squad!" Everyone stopped working as Holt walked out into the bullpen. "I need everyone in full tactical gear in three minutes."

"What? What's happened?"

"I think Pimento has Amy."

* * *

  
Rosa is used to sirens. She's used to rushing to a scene. She wasn't used to Amy calling her out of the blue and telling her she was scared. She wasn't used to the painful silence that engulfed the back of the van.

There was no way Amy was as tough as Rosa was, but equally, she reminded her girlfriend of a chihuahua. Fiesty and strong. While she'd be no match for Adrain, she'd at least try, which was exactly Rosa's worry.

"Are you sure you want to go in, Diaz?" Rosa nodded at Holt "I know you think I'm too close to this, but I can't just sit here and wait."

"Okay."

* * *

 

 

Rosa's mind didn't settle when they began to jog up Amy's apartment stairs. It was, and Rosa's legs burned but she the thought of what might be waiting for her ensured she didn't stop to rest. She should never have allowed Amy to stay home alone. She was a moron for ever thinking either of them would ever be safe in Rosa's apartment.

Rosa's first instinct when she reached Amy's door was to burst in and rip Adrian's stupid little head off. But she knew she had to go in as a team. They didn't know how many men he had in there or even if Amy was hurt. As much as Rosa hated to admit it, she was dependant on the squad to help get Amy safe.

 

"On my count."

The squad stared back at her with expressions that said 'duh'

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

"NYPD get on the ground!"

"Rosa? I'm in the bedroom! Hurry!"

The other's searched the apartment room by room, but Rosa charged straight through to her bedroom, gun drawn, ignoring Holt's yells to get back and wait in the living room with him.

The bedroom was empty.

"Pimento you sick son of a bitch, where are you?"

"What? I'm in here Rosa!"

Rosa spun around to where she'd heard Amy's voice come from, only to be met with the... ohhh

"Guys! In here!"

Jake ran in, brushing up against Rosa.

"Where is- oh... Do you want me to do the honours or?"

Rolling her eyes, Rosa kicked the closet door open, revealing a crying Amy crouched under the clothes with her hands in the air.

"It's me! Don't shoot!"

"Is he in there?"

"No, he's under the bed."

Rosa spun around, so her back was facing Amy, pointing her gun at the bed

"Get her out of here, Jake."

"But Holt said I'-"

"Don't care. Out."

"Okay. But if I get in trouble, I'm blam-"

"Out!"

Rosa waited until she saw the pair leave the room out of the corner of her eye before growling her warnings as she slowly approached the bed. "This is your last chance Pimento, get out from under the bed or I shoot." Nothing. "You were always a stubborn ass. I know you're mad at me for breaking up with you but seriously? You get back at me by threatening my girlfriend?" Still nothing.

"Fine. Have it your way."

Rosa shot at the bed a few times, waiting for a telltale yelp that never came. Crouching down, Rosa squinted as she glanced under the bed.

Nothing.

"Guys get in here!"

Charles, Jake and Terry jogged into the room, guns drawn. Rosa lowered her gun and spun around to face them. "He's not under the bed or in this room. Can you search the appartment again, then contact local police and have an APB put out? Holt and I are going to take Amy to a safe house." Terry grimaced "Sure."

"Wait, what?" Amy's head bobbed up from behind Jake "Who was minding Santiago?" Everyone stared blankly at each other as Rosa grabbed her girlfriend. "Dummies, the lot of you." Amy tapped Rosa's arm "Did you say an APB?" Rosa grunted as she cautiously guided Amy down the corridor "Let me take care of that. Let's get you to a safe house."

 

"No wait, Rosa, we don't need a safehouse or an APB or-"

"Yes, we do. Pimento is dangerous."

Amy planted her feet, nearly sending Rosa flying.

"What the hell, Santiago? Do I need to carry you?"

"No, Rosa listen. It wasn't Pimento. It was a spider."

Rosa grabbed onto the wall as vertigo washed over her

"What?"

"It was a spider."

Jake stuck his head around the door, grinning broadly "Did I hear that correctly?"

* * *

 

"Guys, just a BOLO for all of you. We're looking for a black spider, goes by the name of 'scary hairy thing', approx 8oz, eight legs and he was last seen in Detective Diaz's apartment."

"I love you, Rosa."

"Shut up, Santiago."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHA 
> 
> I'm still laughing and I wrote the damn thing!
> 
> Comments, kudos, prompts all deeply appreciated :D
> 
>  
> 
> (Was going to be called 'the spider' but I figured it probably would be a spoiler)


	4. Bath time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa's in the hospital after being shot.
> 
> Amy tries to convince her to accept her help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't dark at all
> 
> Let me know how you like it! 
> 
> Comments, Kudus, advice and prompts ALWAYS appreciated <3

"I don't need a fucking shower!"

Amy sighed, gripping onto the end of Rosa's hospital bed as she rubbed her temples with her free hand. It had been four weeks since Rosa had been shot in the stomach during a drug bust gone wrong, and she hadn't showered once during that time. Rosa's hair was severely matted, she smelt to high heaven, and her skin was covered in dried blood, but she refused to accept anyone's help like the annoying idiot she was. "Yes, you do!" Rosa rolled her eyes as she attempted to push herself upright, grimacing. "I'm a grown adult Santiago. You can't make me shower."

"Can't I?"

Rosa had a feeling she was going to regret this.

* * *

 

"What's going on here? Do you need help, honey?"

Amy grunted, legs buckling under the weight of Rosa as she hauled her out of bed, setting off the IV pump next to her. "Nope. I'm fine. Carry on." Rosa smirked to herself as she clung onto the railings "See, you can't make me." Amy sighed, placing Rosa down onto her mattress as gently as she could before fiddling with the stupid pump which now wouldn't shut up. Ten minutes of googling later, the alarm finally fell silent. Amy turned back to Rosa "Just get in the damn wheelchair already." Rosa lay back against the bed and folded her arms across her chest smugly "Nope." Amy rolled her eyes "Fine. Let me call Gina." Rosa shot up, yelping in pain as she did so "No! Fine! I'll have the damn shower!"

* * *

 

"Shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, towels, bubble bath, change of clothes, hairdryer... do we need anything else, Rosa?" Rosa looked up from her phone and grunted "Nope you're all good. See you when you come back." Amy rolled her eyes "Ha-ha. You're coming as well." Rosa grimaced as she pulled herself upright, swinging her legs over the end of the bed and placing her feet on the cool laminate floor. "Oh! Nearly forgot! Slipper socks!" Rosa growled, "I'm not wearin- what the fuck are those?" Amy beamed as she produced bright blue fluffy slipper socks, decorated with baby ducks. "They're the only ones the shop had. You're wearing them." Rosa'shook her head "No I'm not." Amy raised an eyebrow "Yes you are. We wouldn't want your lil tootsies getting cold, now would we?" Rosa snatched the brightly coloured socks off her girlfriend "I'll wear them on two conditions: 1. You get black ones before the day is out, and 2. You never call my toes 'tootsies' again." Amy offered her hand "Deal."

"Do you need help putting them on?"

* * *

 

"No."

"Yes." Amy pushed the wheelchair closer to Rosa's legs, locked the breaks (she had attended a seminar on using a manual wheelchair, and she was proud of it) and walked around, offering her arm "Give me your hand, and I'll help you in." Rosa glared at her girlfriend. "Fine. You can walk." Rosa attempted to contain her surprise as she nodded curtly, pushing herself off the bed, grabbing onto her IV pole, and taking her first step.

"See, Santiago? I'm no- fuck!"

* * *

 

Amy giggled to herself as she wheeled Rosa down the corridor, fluffy blue socks and all. "I can't believe you had the balls to let me fall!" Amy just grins wider, chirpily waving at the staring public as they pass. "Don't let go of your nose or it'll bleed again!" Rosa rolled her eyes, muttering profanities in Spanish under her breath.

"I'm Cuban, Rosa."

"Of course you are." 

* * *

 

Amy closed the bathroom door, locking it behind her and applying the brakes on Rosa's wheelchair. "Right, let's get you undressed." Rosa didn't react, her eyes not moving from the large bath in front of her "It's cool, isn't it?" Amy rushes forwards, grabbing the remote for it and giving Rosa a little demonstration. "This makes it go higher, this one makes it go lower, and this controls the floor and temperature." Rosa stuffed her tissue in her pocket, wiping her nose with her sleeve, looking thoroughly unimpressed. "It's a bath, Santiago."Amy nodded, placing the control back in its holder and stepping forward to help Rosa get undressed.

"What you fucking staring at? I can undress myself." Amy opened her mouth to argue, but then closed it "Fine. Get undressed then." Amy turned around and began to run the bath, pouring a cuipus amount of bubble bath into it, and shaking her hand within the water to really bring out the bubbles. "I'm not a child. I don't need a bubble bath." Amy shook her head. Everyone needed a bubble bath now and then. She waited until the tub was full up before turning it off and perching on the edge of the hoist, watching with great amusement as Rosa fumbled with her clothes. Aside from her sore stomach, her cannulas (one in the crook of each elbow) were stopping her from bending her arm.

"Okay, fine." Rosa held her arm out, now sick of trying to remove articles of clothing to no avail. "What's the magic word?" Rosa rolled her eyes "...Please." Amy smirked, "Please what?" Rosa glared at her girlfriend "Just this time then." Amy muttered, standing up and tugging at Rosa's sleeve. It was a bit of a fumble with the cannulas in the way, but eventually, it was off. Amy hadn't seen Rosa's scars before now, and to see the large plaster stuck across where the bullet had gone in just above the navel was a shock, to say the least. "It doesn't hurt." Amy nodded "I know. I just..." She glances up at the ceiling, blinking back the tears "I can't stop thinking about the what-ifs. When I found out, I was so scared and I-" Rosa cut her off with a single light touch to her hand "I'm fine now." Amy nodded, sniffing and rubbing her eyes "Now get these stupid socks off me."

 

* * *

 

Rosa growled as Amy strapped her into the hoist. "You are to tell nobody of this. Understood?" Amy rolled her eyes as she placed Rosa's infusion bags up on the stand above the bath. "I can't lift you." Rosa shrugged "You need to work out more then." Amy scoffed, standing back and picking up the remote "According to the thermometer, the bath is 38c, do you think that'll be okay?" Rosa sighed "How the fuck should I know?" Amy nodded, pressing the remote and watching as the hoist jumped into action. Amy hovered her girlfriend over the water "Just test it with your foot, see if it's okay." Rosa did as she was asked "Yep. Let's get this show on the road." Amy lowered her into the bath, "You've got cannula's in so don't get your arms wet, okay?" Rosa rolled her eyes but undid herself and slid off the chair, sitting forward as Amy moved it out the way.

 

* * *

  
Rosa had to admit the bath was pretty relaxing. With all the fluffy bubbles bouncing on top, she couldn't see the blood, dirt and grease building up beneath it. Amy grinned as she pulled up a chair before reaching for the showerhead, turning it on and adjusting the temperature before soaking Rosa's thick hair. Placing it back on the stand, she unzipped her bag and fumbled around before producing a hairbrush, shampoo and conditioner. "Do you like to use shampoo or conditioner first?" Rosa shrugged, far too relaxed to give a flying crap. "I'll just go with shampoo."

Amy squirted shampoo onto her palm, placing the bottle back down on the chair before rubbing the shampoo into Rosa's scalp in a circular motion using her fingertips, making her girlfriend moan. Boyle always said the most intimate thing you can do with a lover is wash their hair. Maybe he was right. Amy was sure to get everywhere, mats and all before reaching for her brush. "This might hurt a bit." Rosa didn't respond. Amy tried to reassure herself with the fact Rosa was on painkillers, and the pain in her stomach had to be worse than a little hair pulling. Taking the soapy ends into her palm, she wrapped her hand firmly around them before setting about teasing them with the brush.

"Ow! Santiago! What are you doing back there?"

"Title of your sex tape."

* * *

  
It took 40 minutes before Rosa's hair was matt free. A pile of broken and dead hair Amy had pulled off the brush laid by her feet. "I think we're ready to move onto conditioner." Rosa sighed in relief, letting herself sink against the bathtub as Amy reached for the conditioner "Watch your arms." Rosa just grunted. Amy conditioning her hair felt so fucking good.

"I'll leave that to sit a few minutes. Let's wash your body." Rosa was surprised at how easily and effortlessly Amy's hands glided over her exposed skin. Amy was so careful and gentle around her cannulas, dabbing them with a cloth and a mild face wash instead of the full-on body wash. "Want me to do your face for you?" Rosa whined, tilting her head back "Okay." Amy smoothed on the facewash, paying particular attention to any areas where the skin was rough or bumpy, before rinsing the clothe under fresh water from the tap and wiping her face clean. "Happy?" Rosa just grunted contentedly. "Okay... let's wash that conditioner out."

* * *

 

Drying Rosa was awkward. She needed to be dressed to go out into the cold corridors, but anywhere she touched would quickly become soaked. It took a lot of faffing around with a towel while Rosa sat on her hoist before Amy was content; she was dry enough to get dressed. Placing a towel over the seat of the wheelchair, Amy helped Rosa transfer and then patted her dry again with a second towel. Rosa didn't even try to protest or complain, not even when Amy accidentally snagged her cannula on her top.

Drying Rosa's hair took longer than expected, but when Amy was finished, it was glossy and sleek. Nothing like the greecy matted mess that existed 90 minutes before. "There. Better?" Rosa nodded curtly "Yep." Amy stood behind the wheelchair, waiting expectantly. Rosa sighed "Thank you." Amy grinned to herself "More than welcome." Taking down Rosa's (nearly empty) infusion bag off the stand above the bath, she placed it back up on the wheelchairs stand.

"Let's go."

* * *

 

"Don't you fucking dare, Santiago."

"What? It's a good movie, and it plays like a thriller."

"No, it doesn't."

"Does so."

"Amy, it's a documentary on penmanship. It sucks. I'm sick; I get to choose."

"And I spent the last four weeks tending to you and sleeping on this crappy chair."

"We're not watching it. End of."

"Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

"Best of three."

Jake grinned to himself as he watched the two girls playfully argue. "See that bud?" Charles stopped sniffing his mac n cheese and looked up "Hmm?" Jake rolled his eyes at his weird friend before turning back to the window "That's true love."

"What? No fair! You cheated!"

"Ha-ha Santiago, you lose!"


	5. "Let's get you home. You're freezing and I don't want you catching a cold."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa and Amy chase a guy 11 blocks in the pouring rain.
> 
> It is totally worth it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A proper short drabble just because :)

  
" Let's get you home, you're freezing, and I don't want you catching a cold." I smiled up at my girlfriend "Awww... you care about me!" Rosa rolled her eyes and shoved me with her free hand "Shut up." I brushed a few stray wet hairs out of my eyes "It was worth it though wasn't it?" I would normally get a grunt, but I guess she was feeling expressive "Yeah. It was."

"I've got to say, I'm not normally one for lesbians, but you two are super cute."

Rosa growled at the perp walking next to her "Who said we were together?" He shrugged, looking at me then at Rosa "I don't know. She doesn't seem like the type, but you do." I open my mouth in protest "What? So I don't look 'gay' enough to fit your narrow-minded perception of what a gay should look like?" He shook his head "I just don't know any straight woman who wear all leather." I roll my eyes. This wasn't the first time I'd been told my girlfriend looked more 'butch' than I did, and to be fair, it was true, I just didn't appreciate having it pointed it out by criminals who were meant to be arrested. He was meant to have the right to be silent

Wait.

"I did Miranda him, didn't I?" I ask Rosa, mainly joking. I promised Holt I wouldn't let my super hot girlfriend distract me, but if I was accidentally too busy staring at her while she chucked someone up against a wall and handcuffed them, that wasn't my fault. Was it? "Yeah, you did." I let out a shaky breath I didn't realise I was holding, glad I wasn't going to have to hand myself in for bad practice.

"So... are you two dating?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa gets hurt protecting Amy from a group of boys who followed them off a bus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This might trigger some people. There is a slight sexual element to this - basically, some boys start to chant and cheer on the bus when Amy and Rosa hug, and when they try to get off the bus to escape, they're followed and the boys try to pressure them into kissing.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope it's not too dark, and it's more sweet <3
> 
>  
> 
> Comments, Kudus, Advice and tips are ALWAYS deeply appreciated.

"That was fun."  
"Yeah. It was. Although next time we're taking the bike."

Amy grinned to herself, nuzzling into her girlfriend as the bus continued down the high street, making a group of men behind them cheer. Rolling her eyes, Rosa rested her hand over Amy's shoulder, pulling her close. The boys cheered yet again, and one of them, he couldn't have been older than 25, approached the couple "Are you two a couple?" Rosa glared at him "What?" He held his hands up as he took a seat opposite them "Alright! Don't get your panties in a twist. I was only asking because I want to see you two kiss." Amy felt Rosa stiffen around her. "Leave them. They're morons." Rosa wanted to beat the crap out of that asshole, but she didn't fancy washing her jacket yet again, and the bus was going to pull over in a second anyway, so she just nodded. When the bus started to slow down, she placed herself between Amy and the guy sat opposite them as the bus drew to a steady halt. Amy made a hasty exit, biting her tongue to stop herself giving the guy a lecture on behaviour towards other people. Rosa followed suit, breathing deeply and calmly as she counted to ten repeatedly, just like Amy had taught her.

"Come on then! Kiss! Nobody's watching anymore."

Rosa growled as Amy pressed up against her. Why couldn't they leave her and Amy alone? "Come on! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Amy looked around frantically as they chanted. The street was pretty dark, apart from streetlights, most shops around them were closed, and she and Rosa were alone. This was stupid. She was an NYPD police officer. She had taken down armed mass murders. She should be able to take a couple of young men. They soon started to boo and hiss, one of them reaching for Amy as she yelped and clawed at his hand in a bid to escape.

That was the point of no return for Rosa.

 

 

* * *

 

  
Rosa groaned, fluttering her eyes open. Her head hurt. So did her arm. And her back. And everywhere really.

Amy.

Rosa sat up, swallowing a yelp as she looked for her girlfriend. Amy was stood a little way in front of her, gun drawn as her eyes frantically scanned the dark. "Amy?" Amy didn't move from where she was stood, but Rosa heard her sigh. "Don't try to move. An ambulance is on its way." Rosa scoffed "I don't need a damn ambulance. I'm fine, it's jus-" Amy growled, spinning around promptly "You were hurt protecting me. I need you to stay down and still because I won't be able to live with myself if you're hurt." Amy cringed at her own words. "I-I'm sorry if that sounds selfish. I just... I love you, and I want you to be okay." Rosa nodded slightly, allowing herself to lie down against the cold, wet pavement. Amy lowered her gun and knelt next to her girlfriend, stroking her hand, but every time someone drove by, or a cat decided to approach, she'd jump straight up on her feet again, ready to shoot. "Amy, chill." Amy shook her head; the darkness concealing her tears. "I can't."

Finally, there were sirens. The ambulance pulled up a few meters away, its flashing lights illuminating the street. Rosa hated being touched. She hated being immobilised. She hated being picked up on the uncomfortable 'scoop' and placed on the stretcher so she could be wheeled into the back of the ambulance like an invalid. But Amy, she looked so scared, and Rosa didn't want to upset her more. So she tolerated it.

Amy lept into the back of the ambulance without a second of hesitation, settling herself down on a seat opposite where the stretcher was and slipping her hand into Rosa's. When it came to being unloaded, Amy jogged next to Rosa, not letting go of her hand the entire time. She waited just outside the doors when Rosa had her CT. She sat holding Rosa's hand and telling unfunny jokes while Rosa's head was stitched up, comforting her through her fear of needles. When it came to settle down for the night, Amy curled up on the rather uncomfortable chair next to Rosa's bed, and kept an eye on the door, instantly jumping to her feet if someone was to knock.

It was cute and all, but Rosa knew it was a sign Amy was scared. So, at 4:12 am, when neither of them could sleep, Rosa rolled over onto her side, looking over to where Amy lay, staring intently at the door with tears in her eyes.

"Psst. Santiago. You awake?"  
Amy instantly sat up "Yes, why what's wrong? Do I need to get a doctor?"  
"No, I'm fine."  
Amy relaxed slightly "Okay, let me know if you need anything."  
"Can you come lie here with me?"  
"Of course."

Pulling back the blankets, Amy curled up next to Rosa, who wrapped her arm around her and stroked her hair.

"You can go to sleep if you want."

"I can't."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"C-can you sing to me?"

Rosa secretly grimaced "Sure, is there anything in particular you like?"

Amy giggled to herself "I'm joking Rosa. You really do love me huh?"

Rosa didn't answer, she just nuzzled into Amy's neck.

"I love you too, Rosa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: I have got a Jealousy fic and a pilot based fic in the wings, I'm really busy atm, but they will be up soon!!


	7. Don't worry; I like you too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad go out to celebrate Jake's newest solve. It doesn't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mention of violence, drink spiking, and references to rape. It's not too dark, but it's not exactly light either.
> 
>  
> 
> Let me know how you like it! 
> 
> I've more drabbles coming soon!!

"Yeah! Nine - Nine!"

Two drink Amy was loud Amy. Very loud Amy. She was sat at the bar, perched on a stool as she spun it around, chocolate curls uncharacteristically spilling over her shoulders as she raised her glass to toast to Jake's latest solve. 

"What? Come on! You always chant when Jake says it."

Rosa's eyes sweep over Amy's form from where she was sat, pretending to stare at the wall and glaring at anyone who dared approach her. For some reason, the brunette decided to use the emergency dress in her locker and get changed rather than just stay in work clothes like everyone else, not that Rosa's complaining. Amy was wearing a pretty dark blue dress, which showed off her soft, alluring curves. She's always hot, even in a pantsuit with her hair pinned neatly back in a bun, but tonight, she looks... breathtaking. Rosa shakes her head, downing her whiskey in an attempt to look anywhere but directly at her. Staring is weird, and Amy is so much than a hot girl. She's feisty, competitive, organised, and a complete perfectionist. She's forever trying to prove herself to be tough, but it doesn't end up being scary, just adorably funny.

Rosa's brought out of her thoughts by some guy approaching Amy. He's hot. She'll give him that. But that's probably not a good sign. She's only ever been attracted to creeps, so she stands up and heads over Amy to warn her. 

When she's finally close enough to make out the conversation, her blood runs cold.

"... I'm Cameron, by the way."  
"Amy. Nice to meet you." Amy grins and offers her hand, using the handshake her mentor had taught her.  
"Can I buy you a drink?"  
Amy's already grinning at him "Sure!"

Rosa couldn't listen anymore.

"No. She's with me." Rosa rests her hand on Amy's warm shoulder. "Amy, a word?"  
Amy glares at Rosa, shoving her arm off her shoulder before turning back to the guy "I'll have a martini, thanks."  
The man scoffs and points at Rosa "Won't your girlfriend mind?"  
Amy shakes her head, glancing dismissively at Rosa "She's not my girlfriend. We're just coworkers on a night out."

Cameron grins and steps aside to catch the bartenders attention, giving the ladies an opportunity to talk.  
"I need to speak to you."  
"Not now. I'm off duty."  
"That's exactly what I'..." Rosa trails off as Cameron approaches, martini in one hand, beer in the other.  
"Want to grab a seat over there?"  
"Sure. I'll see you tomorrow, Rosa."

Rosa rolls her eyes as Cameron helps Amy off her stool and to a nearby booth. Glaring at the back of his stupid head and imaging ripping all his limbs off was fun, but wasn't doing the trick. Amy evidently wasn't into her like that. Well, that was okay. Two can play at that game. Rosa had been here an hour, and several people had tried to hit on her already. Turning around, she picks out a suitably attractive guy and approaches him.

Rosa chats (urgh) for a while, before turning around, smugly glancing in the direction of Amy's booth. Amy wasn't there. Neither was 'Cameron'. Sighing, Rosa mumbled her apologies to the guy opposite her before heading over to Jake, tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention "Jake. You seen Santiago?" Jake turned around, grinning "No! I thought she was with you? It doesn't matter anyway; she's an adult. She can find her way ho-" Jake trailed off as he gagged a few times, drool tumbling from his lips. Rolling her eyes, Rosa made her way through the crowded bar outside. Amy had probably gone to make out or something. It wasn't something Rosa wanted to witness, but there was a niggling feeling deep down that wouldn't relax, and there was no way she could bone what's his name with Amy on her mind.

Outside was cold, it was dark already, and the streets were pretty much empty aside from a few cars and a few groups of drunks staggering around. The drunkest appeared to be an oddly familiar young woman, who was clinging onto her boyfriend for dear life as she tried to coordinate her legs. It couldn't be Amy. She was only on three. Three drinks was Amy dance pants, who was an awful dancer but could definitely walk. Rosa hesitates, trying to work out whether or not to go over. If it weren't Amy, it would be embarrassing to have to explain why she was following them. It's only when she witnisses the woman (almost just a silhouette at this point) grab onto a nearby car to steady herself, Rosa decides to approach the couple. The boyfriend scoops the woman up into her arms, muttering something to her as she gags. That definitely wasn't right. Crossing the road, Rosa joggs towards the couple, watching as the boyfriend unlocks his car and shoves the girl into it. 

"NYPD, freeze!"

The guy turns to look at Rosa, and rather than doing as he's asked, he hauls the woman out by the hair and throws her on the ground before leaping into the driver's seat and speeding off. Rosa has no intention of letting him get away, but at the same time, there's a probably injured citizen collapsed at the side of the road. Picking up the pace, she pulls her phone out and takes a photo of the car just before it disappears from view. It's blurry, and you couldn't make much out given the poor lighting, but it'll have to do. 

Finally, Rosa gets close enough to the body to realise it was indeed Amy.

"Amy!"

Rosa throws herself down next to her coworker, her chocolate curls sprawled across the pavement, feeling for a pulse. It was weak but there. "Amy, can you hear me?" Amy groans, long and low, before gagging. Rosa immediately resonds by rolling her onto her side as she vomited, rubbing her shoulder with her free finger and thumb "It's okay. You're okay. I'm going to get us help." When Amy's finished vomiting, Rosa drags her back slightly before putting her in the recovery position, clumps of hair laying where amy had once been. She then reaches into her pocket and calls Jake, because even though it's selfish and stupid, Rosa can't bear the thought of letting anyone else near Amy right now, and he's the only person she trusts.

"Where are you, Rosa? We're about to do a squad sing along!"

"Shut up. Amy's hurt." 

Jake's grin instantly vanishes as he reaches to grab the nearby bar to steady himself, suddenly sober.

"I need you outside. We're just across the street on the left. You can't miss us."

"Okay. I'll be right there."

*

"Rosa! Amy! I'm here! Sorry, it took me so long, I bumped into-" Jake drunkenly ran towards them, which in any other situation, would have been funny.

"Jake, shut up."

"Right, sorry, Injured friend." Jake crouched down beside Rosa "What do you want me to do?"

Rosa hesitated. She didn't want EMTs anywhere near her or Amy, but at the same time, Amy could be seriously hurt. "Call us an ambulance. I'm too drunk to drive her to hospital."

"Really? I mean, you don't seem drunk, like I kno-"

"Jake!"

"Okay, fine; I'll call you an ambulance. I don't see why you couldn't though."

" I was stopping Santiago here from choking on her own vomit."

"Can't argue with that logic."

*  
"Hi, my name's Craig. I'm an EMT. What's been going on tonight?"

Rosa was angry. And scared. And sad. And disgusted. Why did she have this many feelings all of a sudden? She could vaguely make out herself explaining to Craig the events of that night, but otherwise, all she could think about is how she let that stupid pervert near Amy despite knowing he was bad news. 

"Okay, well let's get her into the back of the ambulance, and we can take her to hospital. Do you want to ride in the back with her?"

"Yeah."

*

"I need you to try and put a BOLO for this guy, Jake. He would have got Santiago if he hadn't realised she was a cop." Rosa muttered as Jake finally released her from his massive bear hug. She would have normally beaten the crap out of him, but tonight, she was too distracted to care. "Yeah, sure. I'll get right on it. Do you have any evidence?" Rosa shook her head "I've got a photo, but you can hardly see anything."

"Alright, we're all loaded up."

"I'd better go." Rosa turned around and jogged over to the back of the ambulance, leaping in without a second of hesitation, before slipping her hand into Amy's and plonking her butt down on the chair behind her as Craig closed the doors.

Jake watched with tears in his eyes as they drove away, lights flashing.

*  
"Rosa..." Amy's voice was nearly louder than a whisper, but it made Rosa stand up instantly, gripping onto the side of the stretcher with one hand for balance as the other one untangled itself from Amy's and instead swept stray hairs off her face. Amy opened her mouth to speak again, but nothing came out. "It's okay; you don't have to try and talk. You're safe." Amy forced her eyelids open, determined to find out what was happening to her and why she felt so ill. "You feeling sleepy?" Amy nodded a little "Close your eyes then. I'll tell you what happened later." Amy whined softly but was soon lulled to sleep by soft hand strokes and whispered assurances in Spanish.

*  
"Rosa?"

Rosa opened her eyes and lifted her head from the armrest of the uncomfortable chair as Amy stared at her through half-open eyes. "Santiago." 

"What are you doing here?"

"That son of a bitch in the bar drugged you."

"What? But he seemed so normal..."

Rosa scoffed, swallowing an 'I told you so'. "Yeah... dudes suck."

"Agreed." There was a pause "You still haven't told me why you're here though."

"I witnessed the entire thing. I wasn't going to leave you to die on the side of the road."

"Awww... you care about me."

Rosa rolled her eyes "Shut up."

"Don't worry; I like you too."


	8. ... But I love you the most

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of unfortunate events mean Rosa can't make date night, but when she finally returns home and discovers Amy isn't there, Rosa begins to panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got SO MANY fics in the making currently, most of them are in the editing stage, please be patient, I'm uploading as fast as I can.
> 
> Lemme know what you think of this one. May or may not be shit. It's just something I scrawled out while having my hair done.

"I'm so sorry, Amy, I promise I'll be busting out of here as soon as I can."

Amy bit her lip as she stared at the pizza box and bottles of cheap whiskey in front of her. "Are they sure it's just baking powder?" Rosa sighed "We don't know for sure, but HAZMAT is here, and they're running the tests. I'm sure it'll be fine, okay? Anyways, I gotta go." Rosa hung up before Amy could say ' I love you'. Sighing, Amy threw her mobile on the table, picking up the remote and flicking through the channels until she found a rom-com. It had been a shit day. First, she'd been forced to take a weeks' holiday from head office because she hadn't taken one yet that year, and now she was stuck home alone watching a rom-com that wasn't even funny. Opening the pizza box, Amy grabbed a few slices and a napkin, munching absentmindedly as she watched the tv screen flicker in front of her.

* * *

 

Adrian placed the binoculars down, grinning frantically to himself. Finally, after months of plotting, his plan was ready to be executed.

* * *

 

Rosa glared across the room at a somewhat panicky Boyle. He was the moron who'd discovered the damn powder in the first place. Like everyone in this room, he had utterly overreacted and told Holt who called the damn HAZMAT team in.

"I have news, everyone!"

The entire bullpen looked up as a man in a bright yellow HAZMAT suit approached the centre of the room. Pulling off his mask off, he grinned "The powder wasn't harmful." Rosa stood up from her desk as everyone cheered, grabbing her helmet and bag before heading straight for the lift. She was done with this place. All she wanted now was to be in Amy's arms.

* * *

 

"The person you are trying to call is not available. Please leave a message after the tone. To rerecord your message, key hash at any time."

"Amy, it's me. The powder wasn't dangerous, and I'm on my way home now. Save me some food. " Hanging up, Rosa emerged from the lift and headed outside. The entire powder debacle had taken hours to sort out, and now the sky was dark, a cool breeze wrapping itself around her. Pulling on her helmet, Rosa mounted her bike, sticking the keys in the ignition and trying to start it, only to be met with spluttering as the engine died out. After 20 minutes of muttering obscenities in Spanish at it while she tried to get it going again, she lept off, kicking it before heading in the direction of her apartment. She'd call a mechanic later.

"Amy I am so sorry, the HAZMAT team took forever, and then my bike broke down and I had to..." Rosa fell silent as she pushed their front door open, revealing an upturned coffee table, shattered whiskey bottles and slices of pizza scattered across the floor. Reaching for her gun, Rosa stepped into the apartment. "Amy?" Aside from the coffee table, everything was in pristine condition. It didn't make sense. If they were burgled, they would have left more of a mess. Edging her way through the apartment, Rosa scoured each room, revealing nothing. Grabbing her phone from her back pocket with her free hand, she tried to call Amy, causing the couch to vibrate as the gap under it lit up. Just for a second, she was numb. Uncomprehending.

But then the fear and adrenaline kicked in as Rosa realised that something was very wrong, and she found herself dialling 911 before calling the Holt.

"Diaz, you had better have a good reason for waking myself and my husban-"

"Shut up. Amy's gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"She's not here. The coffee table is smashed, there's pizza everywhere, and her phone was under the couch. I've called dispatch, and they're sending someone down, but I don't think we should wait."

"Okay. Call the rest of the squad. Tell them to meet us in the briefing room at the precinct ASAP."

* * *

 

Rosa found herself sitting on the table in the briefing room as the squad streamed in. Everyone was asking her what had happened, but she couldn't bring herself to tell them.

"Santiago is missing."

The room fell deathly silent as everyone turned to stare at Holt.

"Wait; what?"

"Our apartment was trashed. Sort of. It was only the coffee table, but she wasn't there."

"We think something may have happened to her, so I'd appreciate it if..."

Holt's voice trailed off as Rosa pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them.

* * *

 

Terry found Rosa sitting in the corner of the briefing room, staring at the wall."Come on, Rosa, let's get you home" he draped his heavy jacket over Rosa's shoulders. She shoved it off again, still refusing to look him in the eye. "I'm not going home. My girlfriend is somewhere out there lost and alone. I need to find her." Terry sighed "She's an adult. And a cop. Plus we've got loads of people tracking her down. You need to rest." Rosa shook her head. "I'm staying." Terry raised an eyebrow "Do I have to carry you?"

  
"Put me down, or I swear to God, your daughters won't have a father anymore."

"I'll always be their father. Even if I'm dead."

* * *

 

"Yeah I know baby, I'm sorry."

Terry glared at Rosa, who was handcuffed to the headboard of the motel bed.

"Well thank you for understanding. Can you put the girls on the pho- oh, okay. Well, when they wake up in the morning tell them I love them, okay? Thanks, babe. Love you. Night."

Terry slammed his phone down on the dresser, not breaking his glare away from Rosa. "Hear that? Terry didn't get to say goodnight to his baby girls because they were already asleep!" Rosa shrugged "To be fair, it's 2 in the morning. Did you honestly want them to be up?" Terry shook his head as he perched on his single bed. "No. I guess not. I lost track of time."

"If I uncuff you, are you going to stay here?" Rosa nodded." We're in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. I can't go anywhere." Terry squinted at her "Now, why do you think that doesn't reassure me?"

* * *

  
Rosa didn't sleep a wink. Neither did the rest of the squad.

* * *

  
The entire bullpen fell silent as the lift doors revelled Rosa and Terry. Aside from Gina, that is. She always has something to say about everything. "Ooohh! Walk of shame!" Rosa glared at her as she strode across the bullpen "Shut up Linetti." Gina smirked, "What exactly happened last night?" Rosa pulled her baton free, marching towards Gina and slamming it on her desk. "Say it again. I dare you." Gina looked up from her phone "Mmm... if I repeated everything I said to everyone who asked, I'd have no time left." Rosa lifted her baton from Gina's desk, revealing a large dent. Gina briefly glanced down before standing up "Anyways, I gotta go." With that Gina vanished into Holt's office. "Hey cap'n, you don't mind if I crash here for a sec, do you?" Holt glanced away from his monitor screen as Gina threw herself on his couch. "Actually -" Gina cut him off, not bothering to glance up from her phone "It was a rhetorical question." Holt sighed "I was just about to call detective Diaz in. We know where Santiago is." Gina glanced up from her phone "Fuck!" The captain raised an eyebrow "Guess I'll have to chill out in Babylon."

* * *

  
"Diaz, take a seat."

"Cut the crap. What do we know?"

Holt paused, he had already decided to tell her, but now he was actually about to do it, it was a lot harder than he imagined. "We've been lead to believe that Pimento has Santiago."

Rosa froze for a second, blinking as she tried to get her mouth to work "As in Adrain?"

Holt nodded "I'm sorry."

Rosa stood up, a sudden rage engulfing her "I'm going to kill that bastard."

Holt paused, knowing she meant every word "We don't have an address or-"

"Doesn't matter. Leave it to me. I'll find him." With that, Rosa stormed out of the office, bulldozing anyone in her way over.

* * *

 

"Rosa! I... I"  
Jake bent over, holding his knees as he gasped for breath. That was a lot of stairs he'd just ran up.

"What?"

"I-I've got an... a- address!"

A huge weight tumbled off Rosa's shoulders as she gripped the edge of her desk for balance.

"Where?"

Jake just waved the bit of paper he was clutching in the air, Rosa ran forward and snatched it off him, heading straight for the stairs "Get holt to send backup!"

* * *

  
Rosa pulled up outside an old abandoned apartment building in Rockaway Park, the squad not far behind her. Leaping out of her car (bike still wasn't working), she ran towards the building, pulling her gun from her holster.

"What's she doing?" Jake rolled his eyes as Holt jumped out of the car as it skidded to a stop. "Diaz! Get back here, now!"

Jake leaned over and stuck his head out of the window "I don't think she's going to listen, captain!"

And... of course, he wasn't either.

* * *

  
"Pimento you sick son of a bitch, where are you?"  
The building was completely deserted, the inside walls crumbling away. It smelt of mould and something else. It was familiar to Rosa, but she couldn't quite place it. She was getting major flashbacks to the spider incident. Embarrassed as she was when it happened, she'd give anything for it to turn out to be a spider again.

"Diaz!" Holt ran over to her "What do you think you're doing?" Rosa didn't flinch, gun still drawn as she searched "Looking for my girlfriend."

* * *

 

"You know Rosa's gonna kill you, right?"

For some reason, Amy wasn't scared anymore, despite being tied to a chair in the middle of a creepy abandoned building and held at gunpoint. She had been, especially last night, but now she wasn't. It was a lot easier to deal with this stuff if you aren't scared.

Pimento smirked. "Not if I kill her first."

Just for a second, Amy felt something that she likened to fear, but then she heard voices and smiled. They'd found her.

"I'm up her-" Amy was cut off as Pimento stuck her, hard, sending her and the chair she was tied to crashing to the ground.

* * *

 

Rosa froze as she heard the crash followed by Pimientos distinctive laugh. "He's dead," Rosa growled, charging towards the noise, Holt and Jake following on.

"NYPD! Hands in the air!"

The old, rotting door gave Rosa no trouble, but it seemed as though Pimento had been waiting for her. He was turned with his back to Amy, who was unconscious and bruised, dried blood congregating on her cupid's bow, and aiming a gun at Rosa.

"You're dead, Pimento. Put the gun down!"

Pimento smirked, raising one hand, and resting the gun on the floor with another. "Step back" Pimento raised his other hand, taking a large step back, so he was almost standing on Amy's head. "Stop being an ass." Pimento chuckled lightly as he moved forward a little. Behind him, Amy coughed as she regained consciousness, and Rosa instinctively shuffled over to her, gun still pointed at him.

"NYPD! Hands in the air!"

Rosa briefly glanced at Holt "I've done that bit."

"Right, sorry. You tend to Santiago. We'll deal with him."

Rosa gave Pimento one final low growl before lowering her gun and crouching down next to Amy, uniting rope that was holding her still.

"It's okay Santiago. You're safe." Rosa whispered as Amy tensed against the rope. "Rosa... I knew you'd come." Amy's voice was broken and soft, but Rosa let a smile tug on the corners of her mouth. "Let's get you out of here." Amy nodded a little, tears streaming down her cheeks as Rosa undid the final piece of rope before pulling her onto her lap. "I got you." Amy snuggled into Rosa's warm body, resting her head on her shoulder and closing her eyes as Rosa stood up.

Then, all of a sudden, there was a loud bang, and Rosa's knees were buckling from underneath her.

"Adrien Pimento, get on the ground, now!" Jake effortlessly tackled Pimento to the ground with practised ease, while Holt ran to get help.

Amy's eyes shot open as Rosa gripped her firmly into her chest, determined not to let her go. Amy pushed herself free of Rosa's arms, rolling out onto the ground with a bit of a bump, but not nearly as big as it would have been if Rosa had dropped her. Shaking herself off, she ran to her girlfriend, throwing herself on the ground next to her.

"Rosa!"

"I'm fine, Santiago."

A dark wet spot gathered on the base of Rosa's top. "No, you're not. Why weren't you wearing a vest?" Amy lowered her hands over it, pressing down firmly as Rosa yelped. "Jake, pass me your jacket."

Jake looked up from where he was straddling Pimento "Bit busy, Ames."   
"I said pass me your fucking jacket, now!"  
"Santiago! Catch!"

Holt threw his jacket at Amy as he jogged into the room, backup following on closely, pointing their guns at Pimento and surrounding him. Amy had never successfully caught anything in her life, but this time she catches the jacket with ease, wrapping it around Rosa's back.

"It's okay... It's gonna be okay."

"Well, it's either one or the other, Santiago."

Amy giggled a little then, pulling the jacket tight as Rosa cried out. "Sorry!" "Ambulance is on its way. We just have to hold on until they get here." Amy looked up to see Holt stood on the other side of Rosa, who nodded a little "I can wait."

"No, you can't. Someone get onto dispatch and tell them to hurry up already!"

* * *

  
"I didn't know you could be that bossy, Amy."

Amy grinned at her girlfriend, squeezing her hand as the nurse cleaned Rosa's wound out.

"I can't believe your ex would try to kill you. He loved you."

"Still does. Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac. He knows that as well as I do."

"So... he tried to get you back by kidnapping me and shooting you?"

Rosa nodded slightly "Yep."

Amy giggled "I'll give it to you; you've had some weirdos in your past."

Rosa grinned, squeezing Amy's hand "All of my partners are weirdos."

"Hey!"

"... But I love you the most."


	9. What's a lil' hunger remix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa likes Amy.
> 
> Amy doesn't like Amy.
> 
> That's okay though, Rosa's got enough love for the both of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a bit of a remix from what's a lil' bit of hunger. It was my first ever fic, and if you want to read it, you can find it on my page.

The last few weeks had been crazy for Rosa and Amy. Rosa had discovered Amy had an eating disorder when she fainted in the bathroom. It was tough to accept at first, but Rosa was slowly becoming accustomed to the idea of having to coax Amy through recovery. She helped Amy tell Holt and Jake about her issues. It was all going so well. (Well, better than it had been). But then Amy had a fit while at work, and she and Jake had to rush her to hospital. Now she was in a coma, and Rosa couldn't bring herself to leave Amy alone.

Only she had to because the asshole nurse was forcing her out.

  
Rosa realised when she got outside she didn't have a car. She could go back inside and take on the nurse, but she knew it would only end up in a physical altercation with security. She could get the night bus, but that meant a long walk from the bus stop to her house. Rosa googled a taxi company; she was just about to call the first one listed when she heard Jake behind her.   
"Rosa!"   
Jake finally caught up. "Sorry I took forever; I found a vending machine that serves free candy!"   
Rosa raised an eyebrow "Free?"   
Jake rolled his eyes "Fine. Someone bought something and forgot to pick it up."   
Rosa scoffed, turning back to her phone "Put that away. I'm driving you home. Well, when say 'home' I mean mine."   
Rosa paused. Jake lived quite far away from the hospital, and if anything were to go wrong, she'd be dependant on a taxi to get her back to the hospital. "No, honestly Jake, it's fine. I'll call a cab."   
Jake snatched Rosa's phone off her and threw it into the road.   
"What the hell man?"   
Jake cowered as Rosa spun around "I'll buy you a new one. Please don't hurt me."   
Growling, Rosa jogged into the road, picking the smashed phone up. "Too damn right. This phone cost me $600!"   
Jake gulped "Which is money I definetly have and will give to you tomorrow."

Rosa rolled her eyes "Call me a cab, Jake."

Jake shook his head. "I don't want you on your own; you've not left the ho-"

Rosa cut him off "Just call me a damn cab already!"   
"You know what? No. I'm not leaving you on your own."   
"Jake, you live miles away from here. What if something happens during the night?"   
"Fine. I'm checking us into a nearby hotel. But we are sharing a room, and I am not letting you out my sight.

* * *

  
"Oh dear. There has been a terrible mistake."

Rosa rolled her eyes as she followed Jake into the hotel room. It was nice enough, but there was only one bed. "Jake, did you book a double room instead of a twin because you couldn't afford a double?"

Jake forced a laugh "That is definitely... the reason why. You take the bed; I'll take the floor."

Rosa plonked herself on the end of the bed, pulling her boots off"No, we're adults. We can share a bed."

Jake grinned as Rosa pulled her jacket off, throwing it on the floor before getting into bed. "Oh... cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cooliooo-."

"Jake."

"Yep, I'll just, get into my side of the bed. Next to you."

"If you come over to my side, or snore, I will slit your neck while you sleep."

"Understood."

* * *

 

Amy. Rosa thought she'd be pleased to finally be allowed through the hospital doors, but her stomach was churning. She briskly walked down the long hospital corridors, Jake following on behind. What if something had gone wrong during the night? Rosa stopped outside room 3B, pausing to catch her breath, before opening the door and breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of the tiny brunette that lay unconscious amongst the sheets of the bed.

Rosa pulled up a chair "Hey, Amy, it's Rosa. Jake's with me too."

Jake stared. He still wasn't used to seeing Amy like this.

"Jake, stop staring and pull up a chair."

Jake nodded, doing as he was asked and slumping himself in the chair before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a candy bar.   
"Jake, your coworker is in a coma, put that thing away and show some respect."   
Jake smirked at Rosa, unwrapping it and taking a large bite " What? I didn't have breakfast yet!"   
  
Rosa brushed a bit of spit off her cheek"Urgh, do you have to talk with your mouth full?..."

  
Noises. Amy could hear noises. They were hurting her head. She tried to groan, but no sound came out. There was something in her mouth stopping her. It tasted of bleach. Something was tickling her. She tried to inhale so she could talk, but ended up coughing. It was in her throat. She couldn't breathe.

"Wait; shut up." Rosa froze, staring at Amy. Jake stopped chewing and also stared.   
Rosa reached down and gently tickled Amy's cold hand. "Amy? Amy, can you feel me?" There was a horrible pause. Rosa waited, praying to whoever the fuck was up there that Amy could feel her.

Halleluiah, Amy coughed.

"Jake, get the doctor."  
Jake grinned to himself, swallowing what was in his mouth. He'd always wanted to do this. Standing up, he raced out into the corridor "I need a doctor!"   
Rosa wiped away tears with her free hand as Amy coughed and spluttered for air. "You're okay Santiago, I got you."

* * *

 

A cold breeze tickled Amy's skin, pulling her from her slumber.

"Amy?"

It sounded like... Rosa. Amy whined. Her throat was dry and sore. She opened her eyes to find Rosa sat by her bedside.   
"How are you feeling Santiago?"   
Amy groaned "Tired." There was a pause. "What am I doing here?"  
Rosa sighed "You've been in a coma for nine days."

"What?" Amy scoffs, even though it hurts to laugh "No, I can't have been. You've miscounted the dates or something."

Jake speaks up from where he was sat behind the door, crying "She's right."

  
"Jake? What are you doing here?"   
Jake stood up, walking over to Amy as he wiped his eyes.  
"Are you crying, Peralta?" Amy sat up, bemused at her partner's antics. He worked his mouth for a moment, trying to find the right words, but failed. Instead, he pulled her into a hug.

"We have got to tell the squad about this," Jake whispered as he released Amy.   
"You mean you've not told them yet?"   
Jake shook his head, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve "No, didn't get time."

"Wait, the squad? How many people know about me being in the hospital?"

Rosa squeezed Amy's hand "Your parents, the entire squad, probably the vast majority of the prescient."

Amy froze "Oh God."

Rosa rolled her eyes "Only Jake, Holt, and I know why you're in here." The sigh of relief that was emitted from Amy's mouth was so long Rosa was convinced she was going to pass out again.

* * *

 

Jake put his phone back in his pocket "Sent!"

Rosa glanced over at Jake "Jake, and I are staying at a nearby hotel, we can pick up some drinks and the pizza on our way over."  
.  
Amy grinned "Awwww... you care about me."

Rosa rolled her eyes and growled softly but let it slide. "You need to get your sleep, so Jake and I are going to go, but if you need anything, get a nurse to call me."   
Amy frowned "What happened to yours?"

"Jake smashed it."

"What? Jake!"

Jake held his hands up, grinning "It was an accident!"

"Yeah. That's what they all say. Anyway, we'll see you later Amy, okay?"

* * *

 

Having found their room, Rosa paused before unlocking the door. "Do you think I'm making a mistake leaving Amy behind? I mean the doctors can look after her, right?"

Jake gripped Rosa's shoulders "Rosa, calm down. She's going to be okay. Your focus now needs to be the pizza."

Rosa pushed him off and opened the door, turning on the lights "Pizza?"

"Yeah! Everyone's hungry!"

"Whatever."

* * *

 

"Close the window Jake; it's pretty cool in here."

Jake staggered into Amy's room, arms full of pizza boxes " I'm a little busy."

Rosa rolled her eyes "Fine. I'll do it."

Amy sucked in a breath of crisp air and opened her eyes. "Hey, guys."

Rosa spun around "Did you have a good nap, Santiago?"

Amy nodded "Mmm-hmm. When is everyone getting here?"

"15 minutes. Provided Jake doesn't get pizza all over the floor."

Amy glanced over at Jake, who was precariously balancing pizza boxes on Amy's bedside table.

"What? There's nowhere else to put them!"

* * *

  
Rosa helped Amy dry shampoo her hair and changed her gown so Amy could feel a little more human before the squad turned up. The guests arrived as a group, armed with gifts and well wishes. Amy neatly unboxed each gift, thanking the giver and hugging them. Alcohol and knock off perfume from Gina. Scented toiletries from Terry. Chocolate and assorted fruit from Charles.

Even though she wasn't allowed to eat yet, Amy enjoyed sitting amongst her friends as they ate pizza and shared jokes. It was as if Amy wasn't in the hospital anymore. It was just her and her friends hanging out and eating pizza. And for Amy, that made a world of difference.

* * *

* * *

  
"Rosa, it's me!"

"Door's unlocked! Let yourself in!"

"Hey. You okay?"

Rosa nodded, not looking up from her notebook as she jotted down recipes for the week "I need to go shopping for Amy. Want to come?"

"No, I'm okay. Shopping is boring."

"Suit yourself."

"Rosa, I've been meaning to talk to you about tomorrow."

Rosa looked up from her notepad "What about it?"

"Well, it's discharge day. You've been doing a lot for Amy recently. Why don't you go on a break? I can take care of her."

Rosa shook her head "No can do."

Jake sighed "I hoped I wasn't going to have to do this, but..." Jake placed a piece of paper down in front of Rosa "Here."

Rosa picked the paper up, studying it "Tickets to Montreal?"

"Yeah."

"Jake, you're broke. How could you afford this?"

"It's all on debit cards so its like 5p every week for the next 10000 years."

Rosa scoffed "Thanks, man. You sure you're capable of looking after Santiago while I'm gone?"

"Yeah, of course!"

* * *

  
Rosa perched on the end of her bed, staring at her suitcase in front of her. She just... couldn't. She couldn't leave Amy. Not when she needed her.

* * *

  
Amy stared at her naked body in the mirror, pinching all the bits she didn't like. The lack of a thigh gap. The little roll of fat under her arm. Her invisible ribs. The slowly vanishing collarbone. It made her feel... disgusting. Fat. Ugly. She needed to lose all of it. Now she was finally getting out; she could do as she pleased. She just had to be smart about it.

Amy sat down on the edge of her bed and pulled open her bedside drawer, picking up her notepad and pen. She flicked past all of the crappy self-love pages her therapist made her do to the 43rd page of the notebook, where she'd written down all her rules. Rules had always been her life, but now they were more critical than ever.

1\. Eat all the food Rosa gives to me without question  
2\. Try not to cry after meals, but if I can't stop myself, tell Rosa I'm emotional but okay. NO CUTTING  
3\. When Rosa isn't looking / distracted / induce vomiting if at all possible. If that isn't possible, take my carb blockers, then do enough exercise to burn off the calories ingested  
4\. Offer to cook after a while. This ensures I can control the contents of that meal  
5\. If, for whatever reason Rosa isn't babysitting me, fast & exercise - aim for 3500 cal deficit  
6\. If, for whatever reason, an opportunity arises where I can exercise without raising suspicion IE working, walking the neighbours' dog ect, then do so. But don't raise suspicion. If in doubt, don't do it.  
7\. As Rosa begins to trust me, wait until she's looking before taking a big bite of food. Spit it out the window / into the trash if possible, if not swallow whole to reduce the number of calories ingested and do rule 3  
8\. When Rosa backs off, partake in social activities and make sure she occasionally sees me 'eating' in the break room/offer to take her out to lunch etc

Amy smiled to herself. With these rules, she couldn't go wrong.

 

Jake paced just outside the hospital cafe, where Rosa had agreed to meet Amy. He's nervous but excited. It brought him back to her first day as a detective.

"Jake?"   
Jake glances up to see Amy jogging towards him, suitcase in tow. There's only a split second before Amy reaches him and flings her arms around his neck. Jake hugs Amy back, noting how her bones aren't digging into him anymore. "What are you doing here? I was expecting Rosa!"

"She needed a break, so I offered to pick you up instead. Anyway, that doesn't matter now. You look incredible Ames!"   
Amy blushes as she pulls away "Thank you!"

"You ready to go home?"   
Amy nodded, grinning "Yep! I mean, don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed the time off, but I am so ready to get back to my old life."

* * *

 

"Fancy some lunch?"

Amy nodded "What's on the menu, chef?" Jake glanced at the list Rosa had pinned to the wall, before pulling a large packet of chicken out of the fridge. "Thought I could do chicken in mushroom sauce?"

Amy watched intently as Jake pulled various ingredients out of the fridge. "Sounds good."

She debated asking where Jake got the recipe but decided it would raise too much suspicion. Instead, she settled with watching and adding the calories up in her head. Amy popped a DVD in, before slumping on her sofa and pretending to watch the movie.

  
Amy was so glad she attended that seminar on mental arithmetic. It was kind of hard to keep all the numbers in her head without forgetting any, but she was giving it her best shot. So far, this is what she had counted  
\- 4 x chicken breasts, with the skin on - roughly 750 calories  
\- Half a pack of tarragon leaves - roughly 90 calories  
\- a pack of mushrooms - roughly 60 calories, depending on the type  
\- One onion - roughly 40 calories  
\- A tablespoon of oil - likely olive - roughly 120 calories  
\- Roughly half a pot of creme fraiche - roughly 300 calories  
\- A tablespoon of butter - roughly 100 calories  
\- Two chicken stock cube - roughly 40 calories  
\- A packet of green beans - roughly 70 calories

According to Amy's brain, that was approximately 1570 calories. "Smelling good Jake! I never knew you could cook!"

Jake grinned, raising his spatula "There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Amy. Hopefully, we'll have enough for dinner as well."

Bingpot. That's four servings, take away the two Jake will have, which was... 785 calories. Half of that is roughly 393 calories, which meant based on her current weight of 100 pounds she would have to run 5 miles to burn it all off. That could be tricky to work with Jake watching her...

* * *

 

"Mmm, this is good!" Amy gestured to her meal with her fork "What did you put in it?" Jake scoffed "Really, Ames?" Amy rolled her eyes "You know I didn't mean it like that." Amy took another bite. It was good. Almost worth what she was going to force herself through as soon as Jake's back was turned.

"Do you want me to do the dishes?"

Jake shook his head, collecting the plates for what Amy assumed was the first time in his life. "I promised Rosa I'd do the dishes. Go have a lie-down."

Amy stared at Jake, hardly able to believe her luck. "Cool! I'll just go do that then." She stood up awkwardly, waiting for Jake to change his mind and insist she stayed where she could be seen.

"Go on then."

Amy grinned broadly and vanished into her bedroom.

Jake carried the plates through to the kitchen and started to fill the sink with warm, soapy water, heart pounding in his chest. He was panicking about nothing. Amy had eaten her meal with no objections and had been doing so for a while now. The bathroom still had no door, so Amy was unlikely to risk it. It was fine. He was being paranoid.

Amy swallowed her carb blockers in one gulp. Not that there was much carb in the meal anyway. Sighing, she lay on the floor and began her workout.

Jake slowly crept up to Amy's door. He'd been hoping he was imagining the low thuds and rippled through Amy's floorboards. He took a deep breath before sticking her head around the door. Amy was in the middle of doing sit-ups. She was drenched in sweat, and her body was trembling.

Jake's heart sank. He'd been so stupid. He was going to have to call Rosa and get her to come home, which was going to ruin her holiday, and she really needed it. Jake closed his eyes and stood back from the door, wiping his tears away furiously.

* * *

  
Jake was drying the dishes when Rosa returned his call.

"What's this about, Jake?"  
Jake sighed, already regretting the words he was about to spit out. "You were right."   
"Wait, what?   
"I can't deal with this."  
"I'm coming over. I'll be ten minutes."  
"Wait, why are-"  
"Ten minutes, Jake, be ready!"

* * *

 

Jake stood over the sink, crying to himself. How could he have been so fucking stupid? He couldn't do this. She couldn't deal with his friend secretly purging. But he couldn't leave, either.

He didn't feel real anymore. It was as if he was watching herself from another part of the room. He needed to make herself feel something. Anything.

Amy stopped doing press ups and fell still. She was sure she just heard a crash. "Jake?"  
There was no reply. Sighing, Amy stood up and walked towards the kitchen   
"I heard a crash, you oka-?" Amy trailed off when she saw the amount of glass that surrounded Jake as he yelped and swore. Jake was stood rocking slightly over the kitchen sink, gasping for breath in between tears.

"No, no, no, no, no..."

Amy rushed to her friend, careful to avoid the glass. Wiping Jake's too long hair out of his eyes, she guided him to the ground.

"You're okay. It's okay."

Jake leaned into Amy and let her legs give way. Amy pulled him into a hug, whispering reassurances and rocking him gently. Something warm and wet was leaking into her clothes. Looking down, Amy realised Jake's hand was bleeding. Pulling off her tee shirt, she wrapped it around Jake's hand to try to stem the flow of blood.

"Owie!"

  
Jake couldn't stop crying. It was embarrassing, but he was at the point of not caring anymore. Amy wasn't recovered. Jake's mind was screaming at him, berating him for being so stupid, for letting Amy in a room on her own. His vision was fading, blurring beyond reconstruction around the edges. He could hear Amy's voice, but couldn't decode the sounds it was making...

Amy knew she needed to get help, but she didn't want to leave Jake. She didn't have a phone on her, and her landline was disconnected. When a loud knock rippled through her apartment, she was more relieved than scared. "Stay here." Amy detangled herself from Jake's body, which flopped despondently on the floor as soon as she was no longer there to prop it up, and went to answer the door.

Amy was in shorts and a bra, dripping with sweat and still trembling slightly post workout, but she couldn't care less. Rosa does though.

"What the hell, Santiago?"

"Shut up. Jake's hurt." Amy grabs her hand and begins to pull her towards Jake, unable to think of the words to make her hurry up.

"Wait, what? Where is h- Fuck." Rosa ran to Jake, throwing herself down on the tiles beside her   
"What happened?"  
Amy was stood just behind her "I don't know. I found him like this."   
Rosa took in Amy's appearance, and it clicked. "Okay, call Gina. This cut needs to be looked at."   
Amy blinked. Was she being thick or did this have nothing to do with Holt's assistant?   
"Why?" Rosa rolled her eyes as he squeezed Jake's bleeding hand through Amy's top. "Unless you want Gina here looking after you, she's got to take Jake to the ER so I can stay with you."  
"I'm not a child; I can look after myself you know."  
"My phone's in my back pocket, Santiago."   
Amy grumbled to herself but did as she was asked while Rosa tried to calm Jake down.

Gina was stood at Amy's door less than 10 minutes later. "Oh hun, you look awful! I can see why you didn't want to go to the ER with Jake now." Amy was slightly taken aback. Part of her wanted to ask Gina exactly what was wrong, so she had a second opinion on her body, but Jake's snuffles were a reminder there wasn't time. "You're needed in the kitchen." Gina snorted and shoved Amy out of the way "You make it sound as if my services aren't always required."

"Oh, Jakey... what have they done to you?"  
Gina gingerly dodged the glass before gently lowering herself onto the floor and stiffly wrapping her arms around him.  
"Come on matey, let's get you to the ER."

* * *

 

Rosa knocked on Amy's door, balancing a tray of food with her free hand. "You okay, Santiago?"  
There was no response   
"I'm coming in."   
Rosa opened the door and approached Amy, who was curled up in a ball on her bed. She sniffed but didn't unravel herself.

"You've got to keep eating, Santiago." Rosa set the tray down on Amy's bedside table and rearranged the pillows, so Amy was comfortably sitting against them before placing the food tray across her lap  
"Eat up."  
Amy stared down at the reheated chicken in mushroom sauce. She was hungry.

"What you thinking about?" Amy debated telling her a lie, but as she leaned against the pillows she set up for her, she realised that she genuinely cared.   
"How I'm hungry but don't want to eat."   
Rosa sighed before slipping her hand into hers "Why don't you want to eat?"   
Amy thought about it. She wasn't entirely sure, there was something screaming calorie content, but she didn't know why.

"Are you scared of being fat because you don't want people to judge you for your looks?"

Amy nodded. "It's like every time I walk down the street, or pick up a magazine, or watch tv, or go online there's a voice in my head telling me I should look like her." Amy could feel herself slowly falling into a panic attack, but she didn't care. She had to get it out. To speak her truth.

"I want to be pretty. To be loved. I want to be picked up and made to feel like the prettiest girl in existence. But you only get that if you're skinny. Nobody wants a fat girl." Rosa's heart broke as she listened to Amy vent about what men wanted in a girl. It wasn't untrue. Some men were like that. But she wasn't.   
"Santiago, I'm going to tell you something, and I want you to listen to me, okay?"

Amy nodded, wiping the tears from her cheek.

"You're so much more than the number on the scales. Don't define yourself by it. People suck. Their ideas especially. Don't listen to them, okay? I liked you even before you lost weight."

Amy's heart was thudding so fast she thought it was going to explode.

"I know I've told you before, but I think you're beautiful," Rosa whispered, resting his arm on Amy's hip, making her mouth go dry.

"And not just because of the way you look, although, that is a reason because you are so fucking cute whether you know it or not. I love your passion for your work, you're so organised and hardworking, and you're feisty and... I... I just... I really like you."

Amy forced herself to bring her gaze up to Rosa's eyes. "I like you too."

Before she knew what was happening, Rosa wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close, tilting her head back against her arm, and pressing her lips to hers, gently at first. The taste of whiskey and a rush of warm, foggy weakness crashed over her, making her cling onto her as the only stable thing in this dizzy world as Rosa deepened the kiss.

This felt so good and so right, and it was probably the best kiss Amy had ever had in her life, but...  
She couldn't.  
It wasn't 'right'.

Amy pulled away, staring intently at the floor.

"Santiago? What's wrong?"

"You're such a good kisser, and I really really like you, but... I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm not you. I don't have the strength to come out. If this becomes a thing, I'll want to tell everyone so much, but at the same time I'll be too scared."

"Why are you scared, Amy?"

"I don't want them to see me any differently or be bullied like captain Holt was."

Rosa sighed, trying to plan out my words before she said them, so she didn't get them wrong. "I can't promise you that you won't ever be bullied or attacked over your sexuality, but what I can tell you is that I've got your back. If anyone gives you issues, I will personally beat the shit out of them."

Amy giggled a little through her tears.

"Being part of the LBGTQIA community isn't a crime. It's not wrong or a sin, you can't help who you are, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you."

Amy looked up at Rosa, squeezing her hand "How come you aren't out?"

Rosa sighed. That... was complex.

"I mean, if you're not comfortable, you don't ha-."

Rosa shakes her head "I want to tell you, just give me a second."

Amy nodded and patiently waited for the story of Rosa's life, which Rosa assured herself Amy wouldn't be getting.

"I went to a Catholic school. I was taught it was a sin to be gay. When I moved to ballerina school, there was a group of other girls who were bi or lesbians. We had fun, I learned to accept myself, but one day one of the straight girls found out. I was beaten up, ridiculed, threatened, and in the end, I just... snapped."

Amy looked up from the floor to stare at Rosa.

Rosa paused, collecting herself "I'm not proud of what I did, but at the time it felt like it was the only way to get them to stop and respect me."

Rosa looked down at Amy, squeezing her hand a little tighter "Ever since I've been a pretty private person. I figure if nobody knows anything about me, it's just... easier. "

Amy nodded "I get that. I wish I had your strength. People laugh at me if I try to defend myself." she rests her head on Rosa's shoulder, and Rosa lets her.  
"Dude. I've watched you take down perps twice your size."  
Amy smiled "Yeah, but that's different, I was working."

Rosa shakes her head "You don't need to be physically strong or aggressive to get people to respect you. You have every bit of fight I have inside you; you just need to learn to use it."

Amy lifts her head off Rosa's shoulder "Really?"

Rosa smiles. Just a bit. "Really."

"Will you help me tell them when the time comes?"

"You don't need me, but if you want me there, of course."

Amy wraps her arms around Rosa's neck, planting a kiss on her cheek before pulling away for a second, staring into Rosa's beautiful deep chestnut eyes.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please do."

 

 

 

 


	10. You deserve it, the way you're workin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy's losing her mind over a tough case.
> 
> Luckily for her, Rosa's right there to help her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some good ol' smut because I'm a perv (totally going to hell)
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways, this is my second ever smut... thing I've written so guidance, advice and opinions appreciated
> 
> (also, yes, this was for a short time posted on my other account)

Fair warning: this content is EXPLICIT! 

 

 

 

* * *

 

"Stupid... piece... of crap!"  
Rosa pulled a face as she looked up to see the printer slowly falling apart under Amy's baton. That thing was surprisingly tough.  
"Why... won't..... you.... just... print?"  
The bullpen was pretty much deserted, with only the detectives and Holt daring to hang around. Wimps. This was the fourth time today Amy had attacked something with apparently no warning. As hot as it was, it wasn't healthy, and Rosa knew she had to do something about it.

Just once she'd finished this bit of paperwork (Damnit, Amy was turning her into a nerd.)

* * *

 

"Amy, are you in here?"  
Rosa rattled the door to the evidence room. It was locked, and her keys were upstairs. There was no way she was going all the way back upstairs to get keys if her girlfriend wasn't in there.  
"Yeah."  
"Let me in - I want to speak with you."  
"What? No, let yourself in. You've got keys. I'm busy."  
"Let me in Santiago."  
Recognising Rosa's warning voice, Amy looked up from her files, which were scattered across the floor, and staggered to her feet "Hold on, I'm coming." Rosa couldn't help but stare when she saw her girlfriend emerge from behind a shelf of boxes. Amy's hair was weaved tightly into plaits like it always was when she was stressed.

"It's lunch." Rosa pointed out as Amy opened the door for her.

"Is it? I might grab a snack in a second...I just need to sort out a few things first. You can stay if you want. Help me figure this out."

Rosa frowned as Amy led her through to where her latest case was scattered across the floor.

"I thought I'd get a better look at it if it were spread out."  
"Yeah... I can see that." Rosa muttered as Amy plonked herself down amongst the paper. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

Amy shrugged "I had a breakfast bar yesterday lunch." She glanced up from the floor "Or was that the day before?"

"You need to eat."  
"Not hungry. Stop standing there and come help me out. I need to crack this case before Major Crimes takes over."

Rosa stared at her girlfriend as she spread a few pages a little further out. She had lost it.

"When did you last sleep?"  
"I got an hour or two the night before last, but it doesn't matter, come here, I need to trace your hand."

"What?" Rosa shook her head "You know what, never mind. You need to sleep."

Amy shook her head, not moving her gaze from the floor as she scanned through it, trying to find bits that made sense so she could piece them together. Because that was her job. "I can't, Rosa, and you know I can't."

"Look at me."  
Nothing.  
"Santiago, look at me."  
Just for a second, a familiar heat returned to Amy's stomach, all the tension melting out of her body as she allowed her weary mind to focus on it...  
No. She had to work.

"Hey!"  
Amy's head automatically jerked upwards to look Rosa in the eye, making Rosa soften.  
"Good girl." Amy smugly grinned to herself, the heat returning as Rosa approached her, her knees buckling and lowering her onto the floor gracefully. Grabbing Amy's blouse, Rosa pressed a light kiss to her lips for a second before pulling away.

"Do you want me to continue?" Rosa observed Amy's response. Fucking her was fun, and would get her to relax finally, but she didn't want to do anything if Amy didn't.

Amy hesitated for a brief second, glancing down at the paperwork under Rosa before glancing back up. It was her lunch. She was allowed a break. "Yes."

Rosa growled, digging her nails into Amy's thigh "Yes what?"  
Amy bit the insides of her cheeks to stop herself from grinning. "Yes.... please?"

Rosa rolls her eyes. It's not like Amy to break a rule, much less forget one. But, on this occasion, with Amy being delirious from a lack of sleep and Rosa just being plain horny, she was happy to let some rules slide. Pushing Amy against the cold floor, she kisses her, passionately this time, for what feels like forever.

Eventually, Rosa stands up, the taste Amy's raspberry chapstick still lingering in her mouth. "On your hands and knees." Amy immediately does as she's told without a second of hesitation, careful to not crumple the sheets around her any more than they were. Rosa smirks a little, collecting the scattered paper slowly and deliberately, occasionally brushing over Amy's skin with the side of her arm or foot, making her shiver.

When Rosa finally straightens up, Amy's nibbling on her lip, her eyes wider and more dilated than they usually were. "I forgot to ask earlier; what's your safeword?" Amy grins. How did she ever land someone as perfect as Rosa? "Scully." Rosa pulls a face. She could see why Amy chose that. Shaking herself out of unfortunate visuals, she looked Amy in the eye. "Pants, shirt, shoes, socks and blazer off. Leave your bra and panties on." Sitting down, Amy did as she was asked. Rosa just stared appreciatively.

Her girlfriend was of course more than a body, but right now, as she was sliding her blouse off, revealing silky smooth honey-toned skin, it was kind of hard to keep that in mind. Amy didn't seem to mind at all, not breaking eye contact for a second as she batted her long dark eyelashes, blouse tumbling to the floor. She doesn't waste a second before fiddling with the buttons on her pants and sliding them down over her long tanned legs. Neatly folding her clothes next to her, Amy sat back on her heels, waiting for further instruction.

"Wait there."

Placing the file on a nearby table, Rosa strode over to a shelf on Amy's far left, just out of sight from her, scanning her eyes over each box until she finds the right one. "You did lock the door, didn't you?"

Amy's eyes widen as she realises she had forgotten. "Shit!"  
"Language, Santiago," Rosa smirks as she opens the box, fiddling inside of it before pulling out a purple strap - on, a ballgag, and some lube.  
"Sorry!"  
"Don't let it happen again," Rosa growled as she replaced the lid on the box and kicked off her boots, pulling off her pants and tugging down her briefs, stepping out of them as her hands fiddled with the buckles on the strapon.  
"Should I-?"  
"No. Wait there."  
"Okay."

Rosa smiled as she stepped into the strapon, pulling it up and adjusting it, so it fitted comfortably. She was proud Amy trusted her this much. After all, her career meant everything to her. "'Good girl."

Amy's back arched as her eyes squeezed closed. She'd be lying if she said the idea of being caught turned her on, although she knew Rosa would never let that happen. All of a sudden she was somehow hotter than she was before, not that she was complaining. The stone floor beneath her was cold and a perfect contrast to what she was feeling.

Rosa smirked to herself as Amy's whimpers echoed through the room. They weren't especially loud, but they weren't overly clingy or whiny either — just how Rosa liked them. Pulling her briefs back on, she snatched the lube and ballgag off the side, stuffing them in their pockets before striding over to the door and locking it.

Amy's eyes flickered open as she heard Rosa walking towards her. She tries not to scoff when she sees what Rosa's wearing.  
"What? I'm not allowed to wear comfortable shit while working?"  
Amy shakes her head, grinning "I get it. I'm the same. It's just... funny. I don't know why."

Rosa rolled her eyes as she reaches into the Y-front of her briefs and pulls out the strapon. It bounces a little once it’s freed, Amy's eyes grow wide as she takes it in. Rosa paused for a second, giving her the chance to object, but she doesn't, instead glancing up at Rosa, waiting for permission. Rosa tangles her hands in Amy's hair, pulling her forward slightly, but Amy, ever the feminist, waits for Rosa to say "Get on with it then," before leaning forward and wrapping her lips around it.

It’s been a while since Amy's had a dick in her mouth - silicone or otherwise, but at least she knows where she stands with one. Rosa pushes and pulls her how she wants her, and Amy catches on quick – she wasn't dubbed a quick learner by teachers for nothing. She looks up at Rosa as best as she can, working her lips and tongue around it, giving her girlfriend a show while simultaneously trying to follow her direction. "Good girl." Amy's body tingled with warm pride as Rosa began to thrust gently, not wanting to make her gag, but to her surprise, Amy edges herself forward, whimpering needily as her hands slide up the back of Rosa's thigh, pulling her in.

After a few minutes, when Rosa can no longer bear to hold off any longer, she gently pulled Amy off her cock. Amy relished the tugging on her hair, moaning as her eyes fluttered shut for a brief second. But all of a sudden, her mouth was cold and empty. She protested, her mouth opening and closing like a fish as she blindly searched for the smooth silicone, desperate to take it in her mouth again.

"I know, good girl." Rosa cooed, running her nails along Amy's scalp as Amy settled back onto her heels, mouth falling still as she opened her eyes again. "You want me to fuck you with my cock?" Amy groans airly as tingles run down her spine, nodding. Rosa lifts Amy's chin with a single finger. "Say it." Amy licks her surprisingly dry lips, trying to form a coherent answer. "I want you to... fuck me... with your cock," Rosa smirks, kneeling in front of Amy, wiping her plaited braids out of her eyes and tucking them behind her ear. Amy looked so fucking adorable with this look of desire plastered across her face.

"Open your mouth." Amy recoiled in confusion, squinting a little, but did as she was asked. "Good girl." Rosa rumbled. Her tone was deep and husky, and it travelled straight to Amy's clit as she squeezed her eyes out of pure delight, her jaw slackening a little. Amy sighed contentedly as smooth, cool silicone ball was pushed into her mouth, holding her jaw open as leather straps were fastened behind her head. "Can't have you screaming too loudly, now can we?" Amy moaned. She'd definitely made the right choice in deciding to leave the paperwork for later. "Is this alright?" Rosa asked, sitting back to study Amy's expression. Amy nodded, warm heat racing through her as drool began to tumble from her lips.

Rosa took a second to appreciate just how pretty, and relaxed Amy looked right now before standing up. Just behind Amy was a desk. "Wait there," Rosa muttered, lifting the computer monitor and keyboard down onto the floor under the desk where it would (hopefully) be safe, and clearing the top of it off.

"On your feet."

Amy grinned as her lower back was shoved up against the desk. "What's your safesign?" Amy pauses for a second before going rigid and humming 'You're A Grand Old Flag'. It's weird, but Rosa's too wet to muck around and pulls Amy's granny panties down before flinging them to the side. Using impressive strength, she lifts Amy by her crotch and lets her fall back onto the desk with a grunt.

Amy pushes herself into a sitting position as Rosa parts her legs, tracing her fingers up Amy's legs, making Amy moan and wiggle as she leans back on her hands. Rosa starts with just one finger, probing it deep and curling it up against Amy's g spot as she cries out through the gag, her hips bucking. "That good?" Rosa's voice is deep and gruff. Amy can only nod, whining as Rosa slips a second finger into her, setting a hard and fast pace that makes the table tremble.

  
Amy closes her eyes. This is almost too much pleasure. She's been so stressed, working herself to the point she feels like she's going insane to impress her superiors and she needed this badly. It feels so good to forget about deadlines and cases and everything else and focus on her girlfriend and the wonderful things she's doing to her.

Rosa smirks as Amy closes her eyes, sliding her free hand down Amy's body as she kneels on the cold stone floor and lowers her mouth to Amy's waiting pussy, making her jump. Amy threw her head back as Rosa darts her tongue out while somehow maintaining her rhythm with her fingers. Its warm and wet and it feels so good, just like everything else Rosa's been doing tonight. Amy's hips automatically buck more, trying to push herself up against Rosa harder as Rosa's free hand now snaked up to squash, pull and tease Amy's right breast as she closes her lips around Amy's clit, sucking so hard it almost hurts. Amy's now beyond grateful for the gag, biting into it, stifling a deafening scream as she clenches around Rosa's fingers.

Rosa's right there with her free hand to catch Amy as her body limply flops back. Licking her lips and the tip of her nose (what can she say, she's got a long tongue, and it pays) she moves her mouth and fingers from Amy so she can pull her to safety and lay her horizontally against the table, her legs dangling off the end.

  
Rosa's licking her fingers clean when Amy uncrunches her eyes. "You up for letting me fuck you or are you too tired?" Amy is pretty tired, but she nods. Rosa got her off. The least she can do is return the favour. "Sure?" Amy nods again, this time a little more eagerly. "Okay. On the floor."

Amy shakily jumps off the table, staggering over to an open area on the floor and kneeling. Pulling the tube of lube from her pocket, Rosa squirts a little on her cock, rubbing it along the shaft. She has no doubt Amy's soaking wet, but she knew it had been a while, and she didn't want to make her girlfriend too sore. "Good girl." Rosa whispers, kneeling behind Amy and rubbing her back gently with her clean hand. Amy purrs slightly, arching her back against Rosa's touch as Rosa gently eases the strap-on into her. It makes her feel surprisingly full, but it's a good full.

Rosa pauses for a second to press a button that made the entire thing vibrate. Amy jumps at first, a little surprised, but then she rocks back into it, vibrations rippling through her as she closes her eyes and mewls.  
Rosa moans as she slides in and out of Amy. It's deep, dark and harsh, and it really shouldn't be legal. Amy thrusts her back against Rosa, perfectly in time despite her exhaustion, determined to get her girlfriend off. Rosa settles two fingers on Amy's clit and rubs them in quick circles, making her whine as she leans in over her, cold leather and hard zips pressing up against Amy's back, snarling "I know you can come for me again" in her ear. That tone combined with the smell of coconut and that moan ensures Amy does, spectacularly.

  
Rosa thrusts a few more times, relishing in the resistance as Amy clamps around her, before the vibrations become too much for her, holding Amy firmly against her as she comes.

Once Rosa pulls out, she quickly undoes Amy's gag before the ladies collapse against the cold stone floor, panting. They lay there for a good ten minutes before Rosa sits up, glancing at her girlfriend. She's already half asleep. "Good girl, Amy. You did so well for me today." Amy moans in response, her eyelids fluttering as Rosa wipes her mouth free from drool.

Picking Amy's clothes up from where they were neatly folded, she helped Amy into them and lay her back on the floor. Rosa spent a few seconds deciding what to do with the strapon but eventually chooses to pull her briefs over it. It's easier than trying to sneak it out so she can clean it. Once they were both fully dressed, Rosa stuffs the ballgag into her pocket and returns the bottle of lube to the rightful box before scooping an asleep Amy into her arms and carrying her downstairs to Babalon, praying she didn't bump into anyone she knew.

(She didn't. Thank God.)

* * *

  
  
Rosa shifts the shelf back with her foot, revealing her and Amy's secret bathroom. Technically lunch was over, but Amy had been working all day and night for the last week, and they both deserved a rest. Resting Amy on the couch, Rosa pulls a nearby blanket over her before settling herself down on the zebra mat, keeping an eye on the door while her girlfriend slept.


	11. Pilot (remix)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a rewritten version of the pilot :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! Sorry it took forever! Let me know what you think!!

Amy loved mornings like this. Watching the sun streaming in through the gap in the floral printed curtains, illuminating her girlfriend's perfect honey-toned skin. Rosa always looked so peaceful and happy when she slept. Leaning over, she nuzzled her warm, soft neck, kissing it gently as Rosa woke up.

"Mmmmf... morning Santiago."

"Morning babe."

Rosa turned her head slightly, pressing her lips to Amy's for a quick good morning peck. "You're up early."

Amy grinned, kissing back and sliding an arm over Rosa's body, pulling herself closer. "Yeah? Well, today's our new CO's first day. I have a presentation for him. Crime-stat analysis for the precinct, and some strategy proposals. I don't want to be late; now do I?"

Rosa pulled away, taking in Amy's weary, bloodshot eyes. "You didn't sleep at all, did you?"

Amy shook her head "No."

Rolling her eyes, Rosa pulled Amy back in for another kiss, but she tensed.

"Mmmmff... I'd love to, but I can't. I need to be heading out that door in..." Amy checks Rosa's watch "Shit! 20 minutes!"

Rosa smirked. She never hears her girlfriend swear. Trust her to swear over being late to work of all things. "You go get in the shower. When you come out, I'll help you with your hair, and you can do your makeup. Then you can get out of here. On my way to work, I'll head down to Dunkin' doughnuts and grab a selection."

Amy smiled, pulling Rosa in for a brief kiss "How did I ever get someone as incredible as you?"

"That's the mystery of life. Now go. Or you won't have time to shower."

* * *

  
"Rosa's here. Good. All right then guys, let's get started."

Rosa strolled into briefing just a few minutes late, but Terry was already standing at the podium, ready to deliver morning briefing, and everyone else was chatting. Throwing a large box of doughnuts down in front of her as she took a seat, Rosa raised her voice a little "I got doughnuts. You may all have one each." Rosa glared at Hitchcock and Sully, who were already eyeing her up.

Jake grinned turning around and reaching for the box. "Ooohhh... doughnuts! Don't mind if I do..." Jake picked out a chocolate doughnut with extra sprinkles. Just as he was about to take a bite, he glanced at Rosa nervously "Wait. You've not poisoned these have you?"

Rosa shrugged "So what if I have?"

Amy stifled a giggle from where she was sat at the front, pen and notepad at the ready as everyone apart from Terry and herself gathered around Rosa to pick their treat.

Charles grinned to himself as he picked out a plain, glazed doughnut, "You know, The Guinness World record for doughnut eating is held by John Haight, who consumed 29 doughnuts in just over -"

"Boyle! Shut up! We don't care." Gina yelled as she shoved him aside to grab the most extravagant doughnut in the box.

Terry rolled his eyes. They were all grown adults in a workplace setting, and yet somehow doughnuts threw everyone but Santiago off. "Alright. I want to get started, so can I have some quiet, please?"

Everyone continued chittering about doughnuts "Come on, guys, I don’t want to have to raise my voice."

Amy grinned awkwardly at the Sargent "They'll calm down in a minute."

Terry shook his head "No they won't." Glaring at Rosa through the swarms of people crowding her (a little hard) he raised an eyebrow "Rosa?"

Rosa nodded curtly. "Shut up!"

Everyone stopped chattering and looked at her "Last person standing around me gets beaten to a pulp."

Needless to say, everyone scattered pretty quickly.

Terry sighed as everyone took their seats. "Thank you, Rosa," Rosa grunted. "First off, Gina has some administrative announcements."

Gina stood up, licking her fingertips clean as she sauntered over towards Terry, who shuffled away from the podium. "Thank you. Thank you. First of all, starting today, there’s a new claim form for 'lost equipment.' Sadly, I have misplaced it."

Everyone, including Gina, giggles. "But seriously, I do not know where I put those forms. If you see them, let me know. Also, my dance troupe,  
“Floor-gasm,” is performing at the Atlantic Antic on Sunday. Please come watch me dance, unless you are an old pervert." Gina points at Scully, who's reassured with a pat on the back by Hitchcock.

Gina steps down from the podium, returning to her seat, and pulling her phone from her pocket as Terry steps back up. "Thank you, Gina."

Terry looks down at the file in front of him "Open cases. Where are we on the electronics store robbery from last week?"

Having finished his doughnut, Jake glances over at Amy with a proud smirk. "Patrol picked up all three mopes yesterday, Sarge. But as I solved the case, Amy, would you care to do the honours?"

Rolling her eyes, Amy stood up, walking over to a whiteboard which reads Peralta 23 / Santiago 22. "I hate this."

Pulling the cap off the marker, she wiped the 23 out and replaced it with a tiny 24. Turning around, Amy caught Rosa's eye briefly before glaring at Jake as she walked back to her seat."Enjoy it while it lasts."

Jake grins, sticking his tongue out at her "I will!"

"JP, update on the Morgenthau murder..."

* * *

  
"What did you want to talk to me about? I've work to do, and it is gross in here."

Amy nodded, looking around her. This bathroom was gross. "This is the only place we can talk without being overheard. I wanted to check you're still okay with the whole bet situation, giving Peralta seems to be somehow winning."

Rosa raised an eyebrow "You know I'm okay with it. You just wanted an excuse to talk to me."

Amy grinned, wrapping her arms around Rosa's neck and pressing her lips to hers. "Guilty as charged." Amy loves kissing Rosa. She always tastes of whiskey and mint, and her tongue doesn't feel like a dying tuna trying to find it's way out of her mouth.

"Aha! I knew it!"

Rosa shoves Amy back hurriedly as she turns to look in the direction the voice came from. Standing there, with his pants down, is Scully.

Amy's the first to yell something at him. "What are you doing here, Scully? This is the ladies bathroom!"

Scully grins "I know. It's why I hang out in here. It's the best place fo-"

Rosa pulls a face "Please don't finish that sentence."

"So... what's going on with you two then?"

Rosa growls, taking a menacing step forwards "It's none of your damn business."

Scully pulls up his pants. "Fine. I'll go out there and tell everyone what I just saw."

Amy raises her hands, talking rapidly as she tries to come up with an excuse "N- No! Please don't! The truth is, we're in here kissing because we're-

Rosa cut Amy off "Practising. I wanted pointers because... Charles and I are going to the movies later."

Amy nods, trying to get that mental image out of her mind. "That's right. She's going on a date with... Charles. That's why she was kissin-"

"Shut up."

Amy nodded. "Anway. We've got to go."  
The pair hurriedly left before Scully could ask them any more awkward questions they weren't ready to answer.

* * *

 

"What was that?" Amy asked once she had locked the breakroom door, pulled the blinds and checked under the furniture for Scully.

"I heard Boyle talking to Gina earlier. He's going to ask me out. All I have to do is say yes, but be vague about what I like. He'll over think it, and screw it up, then I've got an excuse to call it off, and we can still have our quiet night in together."

Amy grinned "You're so smart, babe. I love you." Amy pressed a quick kiss to Rosa's lips. "Anyway, I'd better get out there. The new C.O will be here soon. Do you have the doughnuts still?"

Rosa nodded "In my locker. Here's the key."

"Thanks, Babe. You're the best."

* * *

  
Amy stared at the clock. 11:02 am. The new captain still wasn't here. She glanced at her deskmate, who was thoroughly enjoying watching her panic. "Have you heard anything about the new captain? He's not here yet, and I'm getting a little worried."

Jake rolled his eyes. "No, and I don’t care." He pointed behind him at Terry "Terry runs the detective squad, and he’s great."

Amy scoffed "Terry’s an emotional wreck."

"What? No, he's- oh... he's crying. Well..." Jake grinned "He’s our emotional wreck." Amy shook her head "Anyway, it's all irrelevant Captain McGintly was the best captain we've ever had."

Amy pulled a face "He was terrible. You just liked him because he let you do anything you wanted. If I’m ever gonna make captain I need a good mentor. I need my rabbi."

Jake shrugged " Sorry, dude. This new guy’s gonna be a washed-up pencil pusher, who’s forgotten how to be a cop, and is only concerned with..." Jake puts on his best (awful) robot voice "...following every rule in the Patrol Guide, meep morp robot captain engage."

  
Unfortunately, he didn't look behind him before he started that impression.

* * *

 

"Hey, Rosa. I just happened to notice; there’s an old movie festival at the Film Forum this week. Do you want to go?

Rosa glanced behind her to find Charles running after her like a little puppy dog as she walked to her car. It was kind of cute. Nothing near Amy cute, but even so. "Yeah sure."

Charles stops dead, mouth falling open as he processes what Rosa's just said. "Cool! Awesome. There’s a bunch of movie options, so I’ll send you those options, and you can pick an option, and we will watch that option."

Rosa stopped, turning around to face Charles. She almost felt sorry for setting him up like this. "You just pick."

Charles's face fell slightly as he gulped "Yeah. I can definitely do that. I’ll probably just go with something classic? Like 'Citizen Kane.'"

Rosa scrunched her face up " “Citizen Kane” is terrible. Pick a good movie." Shaking herself free from the guilt, she strode over to her car, getting in and driving off. Leaving Charles bewildered as he stood on the pavement googling options.

"But... Citizen Kane is every critic's favourite movie..."

* * *

  
Rosa's busy working when Amy gets back. Glancing up, they both exchange a secret smile for Amy returns to her desk and begins to work. Sighing, Rosa stands up, slipping her leather jacket off, so all she was wearing was a pretty navy blue top, and heading over to Charles's desk.

"So, what movie did you get us tickets to?"

Charles looks up and grins. Rosa's so beautiful. "Well, just to be safe, I bought tickets to all of them."

Rosa grins to herself. This was going to be easier than expected. "'Just to be safe?' What does that mean?"

"I just didn’t want to mess up, because you’re sort of... opinionated."

Rosa sighs. It's like torturing a puppy. She needs to set a tone. Stabbing him in the chest with a long manicured finger, Rosa leans in, growling, "You think I’m opinionated? Okay, here’s an opinion for you: you’re a bad judge of character and your shirt looks like vomit."

Charles pulls away but nods, seemingly not too offended "...So we could see North by Northwest..."

Rosa sighed. Maybe this wasn't so easy. "We are not seeing a movie together." With that, she turns around, striding back to her desk.

Charles stands up from where he's sitting "Sounds good! Keep it profesh!"

* * *

 

"Rosa! What did you do to him? He's been crying under his desk for the last 40 minutes!"

Rosa glances up from her desk. Amy's stood in front of her, pointing at a sobbing Charles. Scully is staring at them, but she decides against trying to go elsewhere in case he follows. "He called me opinionated. Case closed."

Amy sighed, turning to look at Rosa properly "You need to apologise to him. This isn't looking good in front of the new CO. I tell you what. I'll go with Jake and Holt later. You go with Charles, okay?"

"Okay, fine. I'll go with Charles."

Amy raises an eyebrow.

"...And I'll apologise."

* * *

  
In reality, of course, Rosa had no issue with refunding Charles and apologising to him. He was sweet and kind and kind of adorable. When everyone was getting ready to go on the stakeout, she did as her girlfriend asked and partnered up with him rather than her so they'd have the opportunity to talk.

They're sat in the car, waiting when Rosa speaks up, pulling her wallet out. "Hey. I feel bad that you spent all that money on movie tickets." She takes a $50 bill out "Take this."

Charles glanced over at Rosa, frowning slightly "Why don’t you just come to the movies?"

Rosa sighed, turning back to stare at Jake's car in front of her. He was cute, but she did have a girlfriend. It'd be weird and cruel to lead him on. "No thanks."

"...Okay. Well. This is awkward. Sitting in this car together."

"It’s not awkward. I like your company. You’re sweet."

Okay, well maybe she could lead him on a bit. So that he doesn't feel shit right before he goes to catch a murderer.

* * *

 

"...Oh, right. Cool. Okay, Ratko, gun down. Get on the ground and put your  
hands on your-"

Ratko spins around, bolting in the direction of Amy, who's stood on her own. Rosa instantly runs towards him, determined to protect her girlfriend, but she slows down a little when Amy pulls out her baton as she determinedly glares at Ratko. "I got him!" Out of all the times in the world to be turned on, now is not a good time. But Amy does look hot. Really hot. Especially with the way she's biting her tongue just a little while she concentrates. With one swift hit to the knees, Ratko's down.

He goes to stand up, but now it's Rosa's turn. Amy steps back a little, watching Rosa run towards her out of the side of her eye. One fluid pounce later, And Rosa's midair, easily tackling Ratko to the ground. "Hands behind your back." He does as he's asked, not that Rosa gives him much choice. "You okay, Rosa?" Rosa nods at Charles, who's right behind her, ready to assist. "Yeah, I'm fine. Let's get him in."

* * *

 

"... but he seemed to like it, so that's good. Think I finally found my rabbi." Rosa takes another slurp of her beer, pulling her feet up onto Amy's couch as Amy sitts opposite her "What about you?" Rosa grunts "It was a day. Charles has a crush on me. But what else is new?" Amy raised an eyebrow, leaning forward slightly into Rosa "I've competion then do I?" Rosa shrugs "Maybe." Amy rolls her eyes "You know I'm the obvious choice, right?" Rosa smirks, putting her beer down on the coffee table before stretching her legs out.

"Prove it."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa's thoughts on her body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually pretty closely based off Stephanie Beatriz's article on disordered eating. I hope to do a part two and maybe even a pt 3as well.
> 
> This is in no way a dig at Stephanie's body, I just wanted to do a drabble
> 
>  
> 
> Not every eating disorder 'fits' certain boxes. I know I've barely scratched the surface, but there will be more, promise.
> 
>  
> 
> https://www.instyle.com/celebrity/stephanie-beatriz-disordered-eating

The ladies bathroom of the 99th precinct was a safe place.

Well, safer than the rest of the precinct.

  
Rosa stood in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection. It wasn't even 10 am and her makeup was already melting. One tiny touch to her cheek would leave her fingertip covered in thick foundation. The lights in here didn't help either. The way they shone on her skin illuminated it so much all you could see was irritated, raised skin.

Sighing, Rosa plonked her rucksack on the side, rooting around until she found blotting sheets. Laying them carefully against her skin, she dabbed the oil away. It pretty much took off all her makeup, leaving shiny blotchy skin between spots. It took a little while, but eventually, she had her face covered up. Placing her makeup bag in her rucksack, Rosa washed the foundation off her fingertips before sliding her hands down her body.

If she wrapped her middle finger and thumb around her upper arm, they wouldn't meet. Her boobs were still too small (even that padded bra hadn't helped). Her ribs and hips were still covered in a layer of fat (urgh). If she placed her thumb on her back, she couldn't get her fingers over her bloated stomach (She shouldn't have had that banana). Her ass was just... urgh.

"Rosa, you okay?"

Fuck. It was Amy. She couldn't see Rosa like this.

"Yep!"  
Smoothing down her wild hair, Rosa ran her hands down her body, brushing off any bits of lint that stuck to her black appeal.

"Can I come in?"

Rosa hurridly zipped up her rucksack before pulling it off the side of the sink, letting it dangle loosely by its handle, only just above the floor.

"I'm coming out now!"

Rosa paused for a second, sucking her stomach in tightly but breathing the excess air out of her lungs so it didn't look obvious, before opening the door and glaring at her girlfriend "What?"

Amy frowned, her eyes drifting towards Rosa's stomach "Are you okay?" Rosa rolled her eyes as she shoved past Amy "I'm fine. Why aren't you working?" Amy followed Rosa as she headed towards the bullpen "I was worried about you." Rosa stopped dead, turning around and glaring at Amy "You want to know why I was in the bathroom for so long?" Amy nodded, her brows knitting together as she stared at Rosa's abnormally flat stomach. "I've been having stomach issues." Amy covered her ears, scrunching her eyes up tightly "Okay. Got it. You can stop now."

It technically wasn't a lie.


	13. Truth or Dare?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Rosa get locked in the cleaning cupboard.
> 
> A drunken game of truth or dare ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know what you all think! Comments & kudus mean the world to me <3
> 
>  
> 
> (originally this was gonna be smutty but I decided to keep it kid-friendly in the end, might do a smutty version in the future tho)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Also, we have Rosa's ED fic coming soon too :)

"Fuck!"

  
Rosa smirked. She rarely heard Amy swear, and it was even more bemusing to have it happen at work. "Calm down, Santiago, we're going to be fine." Amy spun around, glaring at Rosa "No, we're not!" Rosa rolled her eyes, taking a seat under the shelf. The way she saw it, there were definite upsides to being locked in a cleaning cupboard with your cute coworker. " We're screwed!" Rolling her eyes, Rosa produced a bottle of cheap whisky from behind her. "Here. Drink, it'll help you chill the fuck out." Amy frowned suspiciously "Where did you get that?" Rosa shrugged "I like to come in here when I'm bored. Now drink." Amy shook her head, glancing down at her phone "No, I don't want to 'relax'. I've got to try and call Brian, see if he's got some spare keys." Undoing the lid, Rosa slurped at the bottle, waiting for Amy to realise signal was awful in here.

"No!"

There it was.

* * *

 

"Truth or dare?"

Amy sighed, still unable to believe that not only had she given up on escaping being locked in an enclosed space with Rosa Diaz but had actually agreed to engage in a game of truth or dare with her.

"Choose, or I choose for you."

"Fine. Truth."

Rosa rolled her eyes. Amy was such a predictable square. "Have you ever had a thing for one of the squad?"

Amy's mouth fell open "I'm not answering that! That is the hight of unprofessionalism!"

Ros scoffed, taking another sip of her whiskey "Fine. Have you ever peed in the shower?"

Amy pulled a face "No! What kind of person do you take me for?"

Rosa shrugged "Dunno. I choose dare."

"Umm... okay... close your eyes for two minutes."

Rosa rolled her eyes "You suck at this."

"Just do it."

Sighing, Rosa closed her eyes, while Amy counted to 120.

It was hard not to lose track when Amy had a beautiful girl in front of her. Sweeping her eyes over her form, she trailed off for a second before correcting herself.

When Rosa opened her eyes again, Amy's eyes flicked up to her face. Where had they been before? "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Rosa sighed. This game was going nowhere. "You really need some of this in you, Santiago. You're not on duty, and it'll wear off by the morning."

"Ew! No! Your mouth has been on it!"

"Just drink some. You'll feel better afterwards."

Amy hesitated, eyeing up Rosa's soft plump lips. She'd always wondered what it would be like to kiss them. This might just give her the little boost of confidence she needed. If it was awkward, it didn't matter because she could just drink more and forget what happened. "Fine. Hand me the bottle."

 

* * *

 

"Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone in the squad?"

Amy blushed, but nodded, making Rosa smirk "Who?"

"I'm not telling you that! It's personal!"

Rosa shrugged "Fine. I choose truth."

"What's the worst thing you've ever done to someone?"

Rosa took another long sip of whiskey "I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you."

Amy squeaked, her arms automatically jumping up to protect her "Okay! Sorry!"

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who did you have the sexual fantasy about?"

Amy fell very still for a second as she debated whether or not to reveal. Opening her mouth, she tried to force words out, but nothing came. Instead, she snatched the bottle of whiskey off Rosa and grinned before taking a slurp "No fair!"

"Was it me?"

Amy nearly dropped the bottle. "What? No!"

"Your voice is squeaky, Santiago."

Amy blushed furiously for a second, debating smashing down the door, but dislocating her shoulder was only going to make matters worse. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Do... do you want me to sit next to you?"

Rosa nodded. Amy awkwardly shuffled over, perching herself next to Rosa.

"Truth or dare?"

"Um..." Amy stared at Rosa. Even in this dim lighting, she was hot. "...Dare."

"I dare you to kiss me."

Amy nodded, stiffly lying an arm on Rosa's shoulder and leaning in so she could smell the whiskey on Rosa's breath, before briefly pressing her lips to Rosa's. Rolling her eyes as Amy pulled away, Rosa pressed Amy up against the wall and kissed her properly, breaking after a few seconds.

"Want me to continue?"

Amy couldn't get her mouth to form a coherent answer, so she just nodded frantically. Smirking, Rosa leaned in again.

* * *

  
Jake found the two girls curled up next to each other the next morning.

"Hey! Charles! Check this out!"

"Wha- Awww! They're so cute!"

"Do you have your phone?"

"You know I do, Jakey."


	14. The cookie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation on from Rosa's ED fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've more coming guys! 
> 
> Also, I'm not having a go at any vegan foods, or people who have healthy eating habits by writing this fic, I just want you guys to see what it's like from Rosa's POV
> 
> COMMENT, LEAVE KUDUS AND ADVICE <3
> 
> Credit where credit is due, thank you to @themetgayla for helping me out when I got some serious writers' block.
> 
> More is coming soon, I'm posting in segments because of time and wifi constraints :)

“...want to join me?”

Rosa turned away from her monitor and glared up at Amy. “What?” Amy smiled, undeterred “ I asked if you want to take your lunch break now so we can… hang.” Rosa blinked “What are we, six?” Amy sighed, shifting her weight onto her left leg “Come on, it’ll be fun! I heard the new stationery store down the road ha-“ Rosa stood up, grabbing Amy by her light blue blouse (which, incidentally, was Rosa’s favourite) and cutting her off “Don’t. Care.” Amy frowned as she looked into Rosas' eyes. They looked more bloodshot and weary than normal. Something was wrong. “You need a break. Come on; I’ll let you choose where we eat?” Rosa hesitated, she knew street food was often lacking in nutrients, full of E numbers and excess fat. But there was a nice vegan store a few blocks away. And Amy wasn’t likely to give up anytime soon. Sighing, she let go of Amy’s blouse “Fine. Half an hour. No more, no less, and if we get a call, we’re attending.”

* * *

  
“Where do you want to go?” Rosa sighed “There’s a new vegan place over on grand street.” Amy blinked “Okay, do you want to go there?” Rosa turned away from watching the drizzle run down the car window “Yes.” Amy nodded, clutching the steering wheel a little tighter “Cool. So… how long have you been into vegan food?” Rosa growled “Stop talking. I agreed to eat lunch with you; not tell you my life story.”

* * *

  
Rosa stared at the menu above her head. She had to eat something, or Amy was going to smell a rat. "What do you want?" Rosa shrugged "Strawberry wheatgerm smoothie and a salad." Amy blinked. "Do you want a cookie as well?" Rosa hesitated, eying up a nearby chocolate chip cookie as her mouth began to water. She knew she shouldn't. A cookie was likely to be more than 300 calories, and once she got a taste for it, she wasn't going to be able to stop. "Come on, my treat?" Rosa sighed. She'd been good that week, and that cookie did look good, not to mention it would get Amy to back off and stop asking such personal questions. She was going to the gym later anyway. "Okay." Amy smiled at the waitress "Two cookies, a strawberry wheatgerm smoothie, a salad, and a soup of the day please..."

* * *

  
"Is it good?" Rosa grunted as she took another bite of her salad. It wasn't bad, but she couldn't help but eye up the neighbouring table's pizza. Shaking her head, Rosa Fixed her gaze on the food in front of her. This was good food. Healthy food. Cheap food. It was going to make her skinny and beautiful whereas the fatass across the table was going to have to waddle out of the store after eating that.

Amy watched as Rosa munched her salad, chewing exactly 25 times before swallowing, and only ever stabbing her food with her fork once. Forcing herself to smile, Amy slid the cookie towards Rosa. "Want some?" Rosa nodded, breaking it into pieces and putting each in her mouth, one at a time, savouring the taste of... cardboard. At least it was vegan.

* * *

 

"Are you coming to Shaw's later?" Rosa looked up from her phone "What?" Amy turned to her girlfriend briefly, careful to not take her eyes off the road for too long "Jake texted in the cafe earlier. We're all going over to Shaw's tonight to celebrate the close of the Jackson case." Rosa shook her head, remembering the cookie she had eaten earlier. "Pass." Amy sighed "Oh, did you have other plans or?" Rosa scowled at her girlfriend "Why are you so interested in my life?"

* * *

 

Amy nibbled on the end of her pen as she stared at the sheet of paper in front of her. Written down one side in a neat list were all of the reasons she was worried her girlfriend has an eating disorder. She was probably projecting. Definitely projecting. But it wouldn't hurt to do a little bit of nosing around, right?

* * *

 

Rosa scrunched her eyes tightly shut as her thighs burned, legs working three times as hard as they ever did chasing a perp. She was nearly there. One more minute and she'd be done.

*

The sound of the treadmill beeping at Rosa to indicate she'd hit 700 calories was a welcome one. Finally allowing her legs to ease up she gripped onto the holds in front of her, panting through her post work out trembles as the machine gradually slowed itself down. When it came to a halt, Rosa's legs buckled, sending her crashing onto the hot rubber below her.

She didn't notice Amy sat in an undercover police vehicle less than 10 meters away from the large gym window, tears building up in Amy's binocular eyepieces until she could no longer see.


	15. The cookie pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy challenges Rosa at the gym, but she soon realises her girlfriend doesn't intend on changing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo...... this might be awful. I'm not entirely sure. I do know I WILL be rewriting this at some point, just to make it more... fluid. But I hope this is okay-ish for now.

Reaching into the glove box for her emergency tissues, Amy took a few deep breaths and collected herself. Crying wasn't going to help anybody. She spent a little time dabbing at her running eyeliner and tear-stained foundation before realising she probably needed to remove it completely.

Rosa closed her eyes as she heaved, head resting on the plastic frame. She could still taste blood, and her body was trembling too hard to even think about getting up.

"Rosa?"

Rosa opened one eye upon hearing her name, but her sight was too fuzzy to make anyone out. She knew she recognised the voice, but in the heat and fog of the moment, she couldn't place it. "I...um..." Amy licked her suddenly dry lips as she tried to figure out what to say. She should have driven home and written up a quick draft on her laptop. "...Let's just get you home." Rosa's blood instantly ran cold. Forcing her eyelids open, she pushed herself into a sitting position, fixing a glare at the blurry blob in front of her.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Santiago?" Amy worked her mouth for a second, but a combination of fear and watching Rosa's body tremble at the sheer strength it took to not flop back down onto the treadmill belt was preventing her mouth from working.

"I asked what you're doing here," Rosa growled, hauling herself onto her feet and taking a few wobbly steps towards Amy. "I- I was worried about you." Rosa snorted "So you decided it was okay to stalk me? You know you could get fired for that." Amy nodded "Yeah. I could. But I love you, and I want to make sure you're safe and doing okay. This..." Amy gestured to Rosa's shaking body, still protesting over being made to stand. "...This is not okay. But that's okay. I can hel-" Rosa rolled her eyes, cutting Amy off "I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed. Certainly not by you." Amy recoiled for a second, taking a deep breath. That was the hunger and exhaustion talking, she knew, but it still stung.

"Sit down." Rosa frowned at her girlfriend, going to shove past her, only to be stopped frustratingly easily and pushed onto her butt. "What the hell, Santiago?" Rosa moved to stand back up again, but she was stopped by Amy's firm hands pressing down on her shoulders "Get up, and I'm telling Holt what I saw today, and checking you into a recovery unit." Rosa scoffed "It's not that bad, and you know it's not." Amy bit her lip, sitting herself down "When is it 'that bad' then? When you hit 100 pounds? 90? 80? 70? When you put yourself in the hospital? When you eventually starve to death?" Rosa shrugged "That won't happen. I just want to lose a bit of weight." Amy sighed. "I had an eating disorder as a kid, and it sucked."Just for a second, Rosa's face softened "I need you to trust me when I say we have got to nip this in the bud. That means eating properly, not exercising to this point again..." Rosa hesitated. She did hurt. And she was really fucking hungry. But to stop now would be to gain rapidly. "... And maybe consider getting a therapist?" Rosa blinked "Is that a joke?" Amy shook her head "No, it's not. You mightn't be dangerously underweight yet, but that day will come if you keep going, and it will kill you."

Rosa sighed, long and hard, before grabbing Amy's blouse and pulling her close, so they were nose to nose, and Rosa could smell the raspberry chapstick on Amy's lips. "I don't need a fucking therapist. I'm fine. Bring it up again, and I will slit your throat while you sleep, got it?" For once, Amy wasn't scared. This was all a show. She knew because she had been exactly the same. "Rosa, let me help you. You can't do this alone." Rosa growled, pulling Amy closer still "I'm not broken. I don't need a therapist. I don't need your help." Releasing her, Rosa stood up and ~~strutted~~  stumbled off before Amy could reply.

* * *

  
"Rosa!"

"Rosa, come on; let me in!"

Sighing, Rosa placed her knife onto the table and walked over to the door. "What do you want, Santiago?" Amy sighed "Let me in! It's freezing out here, and ms Cartwright next door is getting ready to take that little rat of hers on a walk!" Amy squeezed her eyes shut, realising what she just said, and praying Ms Cartwright didn't have her hearing aids in. "Just let me in!" Making sure the chain was on, Rosa opened the door a little. "Why can't you go stay with Jake?" Amy's shoulders slumped "We're not fighting! I just told you that you had to stop -" Rosa yanked the door open, breaking the chain. Amy pulled a face as Rosa closed her hand over her mouth and dragged her inside, kicking the door closed as she hissed "Mention what you saw to anyone, especially the neighbours, and you can sleep in a cardboard box on the street for all I care." in Amy's ear. Amy nodded, and Rosa relaxed, releasing Amy and heading for the bedroom. "You can sleep on the couch."

* * *

  
Amy sighed as she rolled onto her left side. The couch wasn't exactly comfortable. Maybe she should have gone to stay with Jake. But then again, Rosa needed her, even if she was currently insisting on being a grumpy asshole. All they had to do was get through this, together.

* * *

  
It was Rosa's soft sobbing that awoke Amy at 4:21 am. It took her a minute to realise that it was indeed her girlfriend crying, but once she did, she made an offering of sweet herbal tea and carried it through to their bedroom.

Rosa was curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed, tears dripping onto the mattress below her. "Fuck off Santiago." Sighing, Amy placed the mug of tea on the bedside table "It's raspberry. Organic. Three calories." Rosa nodded slightly as Amy perched on the end of the bed "Look... I understand where you'-" Rosa rolled over onto her back, red, puffy eyes glaring at Amy. "You don't. You think you do, but you don't. I don't want to talk about it. Ever." Rosa rolled over onto her side again "Close the door on your way out."

* * *

  
Amy cried herself to sleep that night. And the following night. And the night following that. She did so every night. Every time she saw Rosa in underwear. Every time Rosa refused to eat lunch with the squad. Every time she refused to go out. Sometimes, she'd cry randomly too.

The thought of her girlfriend going through something as horrible as an eating disorder, but not being able to do anything about it, was taking a significant toll on Amy.

Rosa was trapped in a seemingly neverending cycle of using food as a way to both punish and reward herself. Amy was trying to get her to eat properly, but Rosa would just end up lashing out. The thing was, people would say she's beautiful, but she knew they were lying. Pretty girls had flat stomachs. Pretty girls had a large thigh gap. Pretty girls could wrap their hand around their upper arm easily. She couldn't.

Sometimes temptation got a bit much, and Rosa would eat something she knew she wasn't meant to. She'd spend hours at the gym working it off until she could hardly stand. She spent her nights reading about all the different sorts of diets, good foods and bad foods. She changed her diet to fit what the magazines were telling her to eat. Slowly, the weight was dripping off. Too slowly, in Rosa's mind, but at least it was something.

* * *

  
It was eight months later when it happened. Rosa had lost just over 40 pounds, which, while it didn't sound like a lot in that time period, left Rosa weak and constantly fatigued. Her body was still in relatively good shape, but her nails, skin and hair all took a hit. A little extra conditioner, a bit of clear nail polish, and a good concealer covered most sins, and therefore, nobody suspected anything. That's why everyone was so scared when it happened.

"Hey, Santiago!"

"Yeah?"

"I need you to sign my report."

"Can you come over here? I'm in the middle of something."

Rolling her eyes, Rosa stood up and headed over to Amy's desk, the world around her spun, and her lips tingled slightly, but that was nothing new. Rosa slammed the thick stack of paper onto Amy's desk, making Amy jump a little as she fished out a pen and pulled the report closer to her.

Rosa's heart was thumping along at an uncomfortably fast pace, and the tingling metallic taste in her mouth was only worsening. Gripping the desk in front of her, she squeezed her eyes closed. Having signed the report, Amy slid it back over to Rosa, only to realise her girlfriend obviously wasn't okay. "Rosa?" Amy stood up, unable to drag her eyes away from her girlfriend.

"Is she okay?"

Amy nodded "Yeah, she's fine just ti- "Rosa? Rosa, what's happening? Talk to me!"

Rosa tried to breathe as her body shook uncontrollably, begging her knees not to buckle here in the middle of the bullpen. The entire world seemed to be going in slow motion. She could about work out the noises surrounding her, but she couldn't translate the voices into English.

"Ames, what's happening? Is she okay?"

Amy shook her head, staring at Rosa in a blind panic as Jake rushed over to them. Jake didn't hesitate like he usually would before resting a hand on Rosa's shoulder. "Rosa? Rosa, what's going on?" Rosa didn't reply. She couldn't. "I'll go get a doctor!" Terry yelled, running toward the stairs. "Good idea, Sarg- whoah, okay, can I get a little help over here?"

"Rosa? Rosa, what's happening?"

"I got you, Jakey."

Charles jogged over to support Jake as his friend caught Rosa's limp body, wrapping his arms around her and gently lowering her to the ground."What do you need me to do?" Jake undid Rosa's jacket and swept her hair off her face. "Can you take over here?" Charles nodded, kneeling next to the body as Jake stood up "Just keep talking to her, and don't let her get up when she wakes up, okay?" Charles nodded again before turning his attention to Rosa.

"She's going to be okay." Jake wrapped his arms around the sobbing Amy, only to be pushed away. "No, she isn't! She is dying, Jake, and there is nothing I can do about it!" Jake stepped towards Amy again, reaching out "Hey... it's okay; she's not dying. She-" Amy rolled her eyes, shoving Jake away from her "Look at her! She's got a fucking eating disorder!" The entire bullpen fell silent as everyone turned to stare at Amy "How can you be that blind? How can you not see her dying in front of you?" Jake stepped back, hands in the air in a show of surrender, a little surprised over Amy's tone. "How has nobody in this stupid room not noticed? She has been struggling for months!"

Charles licked his lips and glanced back down at Rosa. Now Amy mentioned it she did look skinnier. Her hair was thinner than it had been, and if he ran his fingers through it, it broke off. Jake looked at his hands. His fingers were covered in foundation, and under the bright bullpen lights, he realised Rosa's skin was blotchy and shiny.

It was then when Rosa stirred, eyes fluttering open and taking in the room around her. "Rosa!" Amy whispered, rushing straight to her girlfriend side. "Watch the eyeliner." Rosa grumbled, pulling away as Amy wiped her eyes "What you all staring at?" There was no response. If it weren't for Amy's relived sniffles, you would be able to hear a pin drop.

"You fainted."

Rosa rolled her eyes, ignoring Charle's quiet pleas for her to remain still and calm, and pushing herself up into a sitting position. "No, no, no, don't do that, just lie back down, we can get you a wheelchair, so you don't have to-" Rosa's hand shot out, landing in the centre of Charles's chest with an audible thump, partly to push him away, and partly to steady herself. "F-fuck that.I'm fine. Amy, stop crying. It's not attractive. As for everyone else, the last person staring at me gets beaten to a pulp."

Nobody moved.

Sighing, Rosa gripped the edge of Amy's desk and dragged herself onto her feet. "No, no, no, no... don't do that. Just sit down, Rosa, the ambulance will be here so- ooof!" Charles doubled over, clutching his stomach as he retreated away from the crazy woman who just hit him. "I don't need a fucking ambulance." She turned back to address the crowd, leaning heavily on Amy's desk to steady herself. "Who's next?"

  
"What's going on here?"

Everyone turned to look at Holt, standing in his doorway, taking in the chaotic scene before him. "Rosa's not well, but we're dealing with it just fine, aren't we Rosa?" Rosa glared at Jake "Fuck off." The captain took in the situation that surrounded him. The crowds. Santiago was in tears. Boyle clutching his stomach. Diaz glaring at everyone with a manic panic he'd only seen in Pimento before, while also propping herself up on Amy's desk, legs quivering slightly.

"Does Diaz need an ambulance?" Rosa spun around, growling. "Don't you dare look at me like that, Diaz. I am your senior officer." Rosa let go of Amy's desk, heading straight for Holt, only for a wave of syncope to hit her yet again. "No, you don't." Jake firmly hauled Rosa to the floor, pinning her underneath him and cuffing her as she screamed.

Amy could feel a panic attack coming on as she stared at her girlfriend struggling under Jake's grasp. There was a considerable part of Amy that wanted to tell Jake to get off. To hold Rosa's hand and try to calm her down with a little bit of Spanish reassurance because that's what worked with her when she wasn't well, and it was so much less... brutal. But this wasn't about her. It was about Rosa. And for Rosa, that was likely going to make matters worse, not better. She needed cold, firm direction.

"Rosa, chill. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Then get the fuck off me, pervert."

Jake grimaced, glancing up at Holt. "Yeah, she does, but Terry has called for one, and he'll be here soon."

Holt nodded, watching as Rosa feebly struggled under Jake's grip. "Everyone bar Santiago, Peralta, and Diaz, head into the briefing room." Amy froze "Why? What's going on?" Holt raised his hands in the manner that always subconsciously calmed Amy down "It's just to give you privacy."

* * *

 

"How you guys getting on?"

Rosa tensed under Jake as she turned to see Terry jogging up the stairs. She'd had calmed a little now nobody apart from her girlfriend, and best friend was with her, but now, seeing the blue uniforms and a whole host of medical equipment sent her brain into overdrive. "I'm fine. I don't know why you called an ambulance." Amy sighed. She'd only just managed to stop feeling like she was about to cry, but seeing the familiar uniforms again reminded her of just how sick her girlfriend was.

"Hi guys, my name's Mark, this is Jane..."

* * *

  
"Okay Rosa, sharp scratch in your left foot, okay?"

Rosa growled, straining against her cuffs. "Rosa, chill. Mike's trying to help you." Jake squeezed Rosa's hand gently "Don't fucking touch me!" Jake raised his hands in surrender "What the hell is taking so long back there? Stab me already!" Jane shook her head "You need to relax your foot. I can't see your veins." Rosa sighed, pulling her leg away and straining to sit up. "Fuck this." Mike gently pushed Rosa back down "I need you to relax for me, it's just one scratch, and then we're done, okay?"

  
Amy watched numbly. Not trusting herself to utter a single sound.

* * *

 

After ten minutes of struggling, Rosa flopped against the floor despondently, finally giving in to the needle's advances. Every single fibre of muscle burned, and as much as she wanted to fight everyone off, she no longer could.

Amy looked away as the needle went in. She wasn't scared of them; she just couldn't bear the sight of watching when it was her girlfriend's foot that was being stabbed. If she closed her eyes, it was all coming back to her. Her own time in the hospital. The Needles. The tests. The drugs. The pain. The tears. The asshole doctors. The sympathetic nurses. Weight gain. Weight loss. Binging. Purging. Self-hate. Self-harm.

Jake patted Rosa on the shoulder as the cannula was flushed, sending a cool, tingly feeling running up her veins. "I'm not a fucking dog," Jake grunted his apologises, but for once he wasn't scared of Rosa.

"Alright, that's all done. Let's get you onto the stretcher." Rosa groaned but didn't struggle when she was lifted onto the surprisingly comfortable trolley. Jake gathered up her boot, her purse and her jacket off the floor and set them down at Rosa's feet while Amy just stared. She didn't feel real. None of this did. It kind of hard earlier, but now it was if she had run out of tears.

"Is there anything else you want?" Rosa shook her head.

* * *

  
Amy nearly had a breakdown when she saw the ambulance waiting outside. Somehow, all prior events didn't feel real. It was if they were just training exercises. But now, watching as Rosa was loaded onto the back of the ambulance, as its lights illuminated the dark alley that surrounded them, it hit her, and it hit her hard.

"You going with her?" Amy nodded, furiously wiping her eyes. "I'm not leaving her." Jake rested his hand on her shoulder "She'll be okay. She's a tough cookie." Amy closed her eyes. _Says the one who didn't know she had an eating disorder._

  
Once Rosa was all loaded up, Amy gave Jake a quick squeeze before grabbing a nearby bar to help her into the back of the ambulance, only to be stopped by Jane. "Rosa says she doesn't want you to ride with us, so you can follow along in a ca-."

"No fucking way. I'm coming."

Rosa snorted faintly from where she was laid. She never hears Amy swear.

"I'm afraid we can't allow you to travel if it is against patient wishes."

"I'm her girlfriend. We've worked together for seven years. You're not separating us."

"I'm afraid, by law, we have to i-"

"By law, you're not meant to treat a patient without consent unless their life is in danger. Would you say Rosa consented? Or was she just bullied until she couldn't physically fight anymore?"

"If it's in the patient's best interests, we may trea-"

"So if I call your supervisor right now, he'll back that up?"

"You were the one who called an ambulance. We have a duty of care."

"I didn't call an ambulance. My boss did."

There was a minute of stunned silence before Jane spoke up "Fine. you may ride with us on this occat-"

Amy lept into the back of the ambulance, shoving past Jane and taking a seat by Rosa. "Thought as much."

  
Rosa turned her head away from Amy, but only so she couldn't see her smile. Secretly, she was very glad to have Amy there with her.


	16. The cookie pt 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy fights to stay with Rosa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning guys, the next pt will be DARK

"This is detective Rosa Diaz, 32..."

Leaping down from the back of the ambulance, Amy headed after the stretcher that was already vanishing through the automatic double doors.

"Wait for me!"

Amy gagged upon heading through the doors as the familiar stench of lemon bleach hit her. As much as she wanted to stop to catch her breath, Rosa was being pushed down the corridor at an alarmingly fast pace, and she couldn't bring herself to abandon her girlfriend now.

It was a porter that stopped her in her tracks.

"Ma'am, you can't go past here."

"Yes, I can; I'm her girlfriend."

"It's next of kin only."

"I rode here in the ambulance with her!"

"It's okay; I got this."

Amy spun around to see Terry standing behind her. "She'll be okay. Let's go sit down and get a coffee." Amy shook her head, pointing in the direction Rosa had gone in as she caught her breath. "Rosa's through there. I'm not leaving her." Terry raised an eyebrow "I wasn't asking. Let's go." Amy hesitated. She'd never ignored the orders of a superior officer before, but Rosa was alone and likely to be scared out of her mind. "No. She's my girlfriend. You would do the exact same if it were Sharon or one of your kids." With one graceful sweep, Amy was scooped up "Yes, but thankfully I've friends to make sure I don't get in the doctors' way or start any fights."

"Put me down!"

* * *

  
"I'm here; I'm here!"

Jake burst into the realities room, panting. "Sorry it took so long, I got cornered by a really angry flock of geese who wanted my Cheetos."

Terry raised an eyebrow "Please tell me you just threw the bag at them and ran."  
Jake shook his head, producing the bag from behind his back "Why would I do that?"   
"Because geese are dangerous and you can always get another bag?"

"No, they're not, they only chased me 11 blocks, and then they gave up, so it's all good."

Jake ripped open the bag and popped one in his mouth "Want one?" Terry shook his head "No, they're disgusting, and you should really learn to chew with your mouth closed." Jake shrugged, popping another into his mouth "What's going on with Santiago?" Terry glanced over at Amy, who was sat on the floor in the corner with her back to him, plaiting her hair. "She's waiting for the doctor to come in and give her permission to go see Rosa," Jake stared for a second more before shrugging and taking a seat.

* * *

  
Amy tucked her knees into her chest and stared at the little black dot on the wall in front of her. Hospital surroundings were theoretically familiar - being a cop is dangerous work, and she'd struggled with a dangerously low weight throughout her childhood, right up into her mid-twenties. But this was different. This time, she wasn't the patient. Her girlfriend was. As hard as she'd worked to get to a healthy weight and maintain it, all of those sleepless nights and wasted days, she couldn't help but wish she could swap places with Rosa. Eating disorder recovery was hard. It's a constant battle to stay afloat, and Amy had lost too many friends to be willing to risk losing her girlfriend.

* * *

  
Amy's head shot up when the door opened, revealing a young man in a white coat "Err... are you Rosa Diaz's family?" Terry shook his head "No, work colleagues." The doctor nodded. "Is the girlfriend in here? We can't get a hold of Rosa's next of kin, so we need to -" Amy was on her feet within seconds "I'm her girlfriend. What's going on?" The doctor stared for a second before glancing over to Terry, who nodded. "Okay... if you'd like to follow me, I'll take you to our office so we can have a little more privacy." Amy froze. "P- privacy? Does that mean...?" The doctor held out his hands "No! No, Rosa's... she's not dead, we just need to speak to you so we can establish what might have caused this and things like that." Amy nodded "Okay. Let's go."

* * *

  
"Are you sure you don't want a cup of tea? Coffee? Juice?"

Amy shook her head. "I want to know what's going on with my girlfriend." The doctor nodded, taking a seat behind his desk and setting his mug down in front of him. "I don't wish to be alarmist, but we ran some bloodwork earlier on, and Rosa's mineral and vitamin levels, especially potassium, are low. Now, that's easily rectified in itself, but obviously, we've got to determine the underlying cause to prevent it from happening again. I hate to ask this, but has Rosa been eating properly as of late?"

Amy closed her eyes as a wave of da ja vous hit her. She knew how eating disorder patients were treated. But, low potassium levels especially, could easily prove fatal. While they could be maintained in a hospital setting, they were going to drop as soon as Rosa stopped infusions and got out. She wasn't always around. She had a career, and Rosa was independent by nature. She was also a detective, and it could prove extremely dangerous if she fainted or worse while dealing with a perp.

"No."

* * *

 

"Ms Diaz?"

Rosa glared at the nurse standing in the doorway. "Detective." The nurse nodded and entered, armed with a blue tray. "I've come to put these up." Rosa hated needles. It had taken half an hour to finally get a cannula in because her veins were pretty much shot thanks to dehydration, but the upside to having one in was she didn't have to be stuck again. Offering her arm, Rosa turned her attention back to the tv as the nurse fiddled with her cannula. It didn't hurt as such; it just felt weird. Especially the flush. That was always cold.

"All done. Do you need anything?" Rosa shook her head, not moving her gaze from the tv. Even if she did want something, she wouldn't be asking a stranger to help her. "Okay. I'll come in and check on you in fifteen minutes."

It wasn't until Rosa decided to get up and do a bit of walking around she noticed what the bag was.


	17. The cookie pt 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS DARK AND IS BASED ON AN EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL METHOD OF CONTROL
> 
>  
> 
> Also, it fetures some pretty awful google translated Spanish. I've never had a single lesson in my life, so apologies for that.

Rosa's tongue slowly slithered out of her mouth to lick her dry, cracked lips. She felt... heavy, and now, she had no way of defending herself. No way of stopping the foreign fluids from dribbling into her veins. She glanced up at the bag hanging above her bedside, tears welling up in her eyes as she made a frustratingly feeble attempt to strain against the nylon. It allowed enough movement to reach across, but not enough to pull the damn line out. She tried to sit up, to grab the tubing with her mouth, but her body was too heavy.

This was her own stupid fault. She shouldn't have resisted.

* * *

  
Earlier on...

Rosa's heart sank as the page finally loaded. 180 calories. One hundred eighty calories were being forced into her, drip by drip. This room wasn't big enough to exercise properly in, and the damn cannula wouldn't let her arm bend, so there was no way she could make do.

Nope, she was going to have to take the risk.

Rosa pressed the call button and then waited. When the nurse appeared at the door, obviously irritated at having being disturbed before the 15 minutes was up, Rosa asked her to fetch a doctor. The nurse shook her head "Why do you need a doctor?" Rosa glared but indulged her anyway.

"I didn't consent to having a potassium infusion."  
"Your potassium is low, so we had to treat it; otherwise it can cause other issues."  
"Heart and major organ issues, I know. But I didn't consent, and I don't want it."  
"You've got to have it."  
"No, I don't."  
"I'm sorry, I'm just a nurse, so I can't do anything. If you have an issue, take it up with your consultant."  
Rosa rolled her eyes "I just asked to see a doctor! That was the first thing I said!"

"A consultant is the only one who can stop a prescription medication being given, and they don't come onto this ward until 5. Now if you can excuse me, I'm needed elsewhere."

Rosa opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, the nurse had gone. Typical.

Turning back to the bag of fluid hanging above her bed, Rosa sighed. If a doctor wouldn't sort it out, she was going to have to deal with it herself. Following the tubing up, she flicked the switch to slow the flow down as much as possible, before thumbing at the plaster that held her cannula in place. Damn nurses always had to put the stupid things in places it hurt. Taking a deep breath, Rosa peeled the plaster off her foot, revealing the tiny little green tube stuck in her skin. Pulling it out, she quickly blocked the small hole it left with her thumb. It hurt, but not as much as the thought of 180 calories being pumped into her.

Rolling the stand over to the sink, Rosa draped the cannula and attached tubing into the basin. (She's a badass, not an anarchist. Getting potassium and blood over the floor and leaving it for the cleaners to clean up wasn't fair.) Tugging a few tissues down out of the dispenser, she waddled back over to her bed, perching on the end of it and dabbing at her foot. Once the bleeding stopped, she opened her bedside cabin and grabbed the bag of her clothes and put them on.

Once she was dressed, Rosa made the bed and did a quick search of the room to make sure she wasn't leaving anything behind. Unfortunately for her, she didn't see the nurse come in, armed with security and a doctor. "Miss Diaz, what exactly do you think you're doing?" Rosa instantly spun around, a little alarmed, but relaxed when she realised it was just hospital staff. "Leaving." The nurse's mouth fell open as Rosa pushed past her and headed down the corridor. "Follow her and don't let her leave the building. Radio me when you find her" The two guards nodded and headed after Rosa.

It didn't take Rosa long to find the relatives room the squad were waiting in. "Rosa!" Amy instantly ran to her girlfriend, throwing her arms around her neck "I didn't know they were going to discharge you." Rosa shrugged "Guess Christmas came early." Turning to the rest of the squad, she spent a few brief moments greeting everyone and reassuring them she was okay. "Alright. Let's get gone. I want to miss rush hour." Amy nodded, pulling her keys from her pocket and heading for the door, everyone in tow.

"What do you want for dinner?"Amy asked as the group headed back down the corridors towards the exit. Rosa thought carefully. She had just basically had dinner. "I've already eaten." Amy raised an eyebrow as she glanced over at Terry, who looked equally concerned "I didn't realise they'd changed dinner times." Rosa nodded slightly, noting Amy's expression, and the fact everyone was now staring at her."Yep. But if you guys want to head down to the olive garden for a celebratory treat, I'm down." Amy forced a smile "Sounds good. We all up for that?"

Before anyone could reply, a deep voice interrupted them "Ma'am! Ma'am! Wait there." Rosa quickly waved the squad on "I'll catch you up." All aside from Amy obeyed as Rosa stopped dead and spun around, glaring at the burly security guard "What?" The guard returned the glare with every once of malice Rosa put into it "We've been asked to make sure you don't leave the premises." Amy froze, all blood draining out of her face while Rosa scoffed. "It's not a prison. I can come and go as I like..."

Amy tried to take a few deep breaths as Rosa continued to argue with the guard. It was nothing. Times have changed. It wouldn't happen again. Rosa was going to be fine.

"Touch me again, and I'll make sure you're the one who needs 'medical attention'." It wasn't Rosa's best threat, but she was dizzy, tired and scared. She just wanted to go home. Was that too much to ask? Jumping as she felt a hand on her shoulder, Rosa spun around to see Amy stood next to her, looking thoroughly panicked. "Rosa, calm down. They're just trying to help."

But they weren't. They were trying to make her fat. "Get off me!"

After that, things went into slow motion. Hands were grabbing at her, tackling her to the ground. Pinning her to the cold laminate so hard she could hardly breathe. Holding her fingers to her wrist and pressing hard. She just wanted out. But there was something in Rosa's mind screeching danger, so she screamed, kicked and spat.

Amy was rooted to the spot. Watching her girlfriend go through the very same thing she'd been through all those years before, the thing she told herself wasn't legal anymore. Amy thought about the fear, pain, frustration, anger, that came with it and the flashbacks and nightmares that followed.

She couldn't just... watch. Could she?

Closing her eyes, Amy reminded herself that she was safe, and nothing bad was going to happen. (Well, not to her, at least) She thought about that brand new stationery shop that had opened down the road. The entire place smelt of new binder. All of the shelves were stacked in alphabetical order, and they had those strong filing tabs. The ones she couldn't find anywhere and used to have to order in from Japan. From pens to notebooks they had it all. Every colour of the rainbow.

Opening her eyes, Amy took another deep breath and stepped forward, her feet magically unglued. The security guards (when had they multiplied?) didn't let go, but they did make a little space for Amy to squeeze in. Kneeling down, Amy rested a hand on Rosa's lower back. Rosa hissed and arched away from contact at first but soon settled when Amy began rubbing gently.

"Cálmate, chica." {Calm down}

At hearing the familiar tones of Spanish, she was only used to hearing when with her family, Rosa relaxed a little, panting from the sheer exhaustion of struggling.

"What do you want to do?..."

"...I'll radio AMU..."

"... Yeah, can we get a hold of her consultant?..."

Amy tried to ignore the conversation that was happening around them as she wiped the damp hair off Rosa's clammy forehead. "Ya verás como todo se arregla." {It's going to be okay, you'll see.} Rosa grunted, straining to look around as a doctor approached them.

"...Alright, what's going on here?..."

Amy shuffled herself so she couldn't see the doctor, running her fingers through Rosa's hair. "Mírame, chica." {Look at me}

Rosa hesitated before turning to face her girlfriend. She didn't like that everyone was so close. She didn't like that everyone was touching her. She didn't like feeling so powerless and fragile. But she knew fixating on whatever was going on wasn't going to help.

"Está bien." {It's okay}

Rosa nodded a little, sliding her arm out from under her body and reaching out for Amy's hand. Amy took it, smiling. Rosa didn't want to admit she was scared, least of all to her girlfriend in the middle of a hospital corridor with a bunch of people staring, but Amy seemed to know that already.

Rosa jumped when she felt someone reach under her and tug on her belt, causing the guards to intensify the pressure on her body. "Relájate, estás bien, chica." { you're okay, just relax} Only Rosa wasn't okay. Someone she didn't know was trying to undo her belt!

"Mirame, chica."

Rosa didn't want to look away. She knew something bad was going to happen, but she didn't know what. Every single cell in her body was screaming at her to get away, but nothing was working. Not struggling, not glaring, not growling and lunging, not threats. She was just... stuck.

Rosa swallowed a yelp as a guard dug the heel of his hand inbetween her shoulder blades, forcing her chest into the floor so she could no longer turn around to look at what was going on as her pants were tugged down. Her hand instinctively broke away from Amy's, reaching out to pull her pants back up, but Amy stopped her, capturing her hand in mid-air and setting it down. "Cálmate, chica." {Calm down}

Rosa couldn't calm down. She had a feeling she knew exactly what was going to happen and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Amy interlocked her fingers with Rosa's, gently squeezing her hand. "  
Va a estar bien. No hay mal que por cien años dure" {It's going to be okay; all bad things come to an end} she whispered, shuffling upwards so Rosa could see her. "Que sepas que estoy aquí." {I'm right here}

Rosa flinched when she felt the cool steri wipe against her exposed skin. "Tranquila, Rosa, no te preocupes." {Take it easy Rosa, don't worry.} Growling softly, she turned to try and get a better look, but between having her chest pinned down against the floor, and the painful tremours that came with exerting herself, she couldn't. Instead of lashing out, Rosa let her head flop back onto the floor with an audible thump, determined not to cry.

Amy looked away as the needle went in, trying not to overthink Rosa's death grip on her hand.

It was a moment that seemed to last forever.

But then, Rosa's grip loosened, and the doctor made a hasty retreat. Turning back to her girlfriend, Amy opened her mouth, but no words came out. Instead, she swept the sticky clumps of hair out of Rosa's face and rubbed the tears away with her thumb.

* * *

 

Rosa didn't protest when she was lifted onto a nearby stretcher. She couldn't. Her body was too heavy and uncoordinated to even think about struggling. Even so, she wasn't happy. She didn't like being dependant on so many people. She didn't like the crowd staring at her. She didn't like the fact she was being forced to take something she now definitely couldn't work off because she was trapped in a hellishly sluggish body. She wanted to scream, kick and bite. But she couldn't.

Amy held Rosa's hand as they walked back to her room. Even though her eyes were glazed over, she knew Rosa was internally screaming, just as she had been all those years ago. Amy had convinced herself that all of this died out about twenty years ago, that it was now illegal, but apparently not. Her girlfriend had been the victim of the thing she swore she'd never let happen to another human being.

And for Amy, it was unbearable.

When they finally reached Rosa's room, a nurse stopped her from following the stretcher in. "You look tired, honey, go get yourself a drink, and a snack and someone will come talk to you in the relatives' room in a bit." Amy hesitated. She didn't want to leave Rosa, but she knew the squad were probably still waiting in the carpark, and besides, she needed the nurses to be on her side if she wanted to get Rosa out.

"Okay."


	18. The stakeout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Rosa are on a stakeout.
> 
> Rosa is bored.
> 
> Amy is horny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of lighthearted smut to make up for the previous ch. Only it's not smut. It's just teasing.

"How long is this going to take exactly?"

"However long it takes."

"Not helpful, Santiago."

Amy giggled from where she was sat in the driver's seat, coffee in her hand. "You hungry?"

Rosa growled "You know I am. We've been waiting for hours."

Placing her coffee in the centre console cupholder, Amy turned around, leaning across to the backseat and grabbing a light pink lunchbox, making Rosa scoff. "What the fuck is that?"

Amy sat back in her seat, unzipping the lunchbox and pulling out two wraps and handing one to Rosa. "Breakfast."

Rosa rolled her eyes as she unwrapped it. "Dinner."

Amy glanced down at her watch and pulled a face "Sorry, I know you're not used to going all out on a case."

Rosa stopped chewing and frowned at her girlfriend "What's that supposed to mean?"

Amy shrugged, taking a large bite of her wrap "Nothing. It's just you're used to-"

"Eating regularly, like a normal person? Yep."

"Oh come on, don't be a grump; we've had so much fun today!"

Rosa scoffed "Fun? You woke me up at 4am, drove me across the state, and then parked us here, in the middle of buttfuck nowhere in front of some rusty old shed because you *think* the guy we're chasing *might* be staying with a contact who *possibly* lives here."

"Yep! Fun!"

"When exactly do we give up?"

"We don't, Rosa. We're detectives. We took a sacred oath to protect and serve, and that is what we're going to do!"

Rosa rolled her eyes, taking another large bite of her wrap as she flopped back against her seat. For the next few minutes, the ladies finished off their breakfast dinner in silence. Amy felt bad for dragging her girlfriend out here, especially as it looked like it was all for nothing. Chewing her lip, she glanced over at Rosa, who was busy staring out the window. Even when she was annoyed, she was still hot. Maybe more so.

Deciding to seize the opportunity while her girlfriend was distracted, Amy undid her seatbelt and slid across onto Rosa's lap, who instantly jumped when she felt a warm weight wriggle onto her.

"What the hell, Santiago?"

Amy just smirked, resting her hands on Rosa's shoulders, and leaning in, so their lips were only centimetres apart. Realising what Amy was doing to her, Rosa raised an eyebrow "Someone's feeling frisky tonight. I guess sitting in a car that smells like butts for eight hours straight really gets you going, huh?"

"Don't be an ass, Rosa," Amy whispered as pressed her lips to Rosa's.

  
After what felt like hours, Amy finally pulled away, looking into Rosa's deep chestnut eyes for a second before shuffling back over to the driver's seat as if nothing had happened. "What? Amy that isn't fair!"

Amy looked back over at her girlfriend "Funny how it's always 'Amy' when you want something."

Rosa glared at her "You started this, and you're going to finish this."

Amy shrugged "Sorry, I'm on duty."

"Don't you dare pull that shit with me. Get over here, or I'm chucking you out of the car and leaving you here for Fernandez to find."

"So you admit he's here then?"

Rosa growled, leaning over and grabbing Amy by her blouse "Don't test me, Santiago."

Amy smirked "Funny; I would have thought a way of getting someone to give you what you want is to be nice to them or perhaps even beg, not threaten to kill them."

Rosa tightened her grip, her eyes narrowing as Amy stared straight back, undeterred. Rolling her eyes, Rosa released her girlfriend and sat back on her seat. "Alright. What do you want?"

"If I'm going to compromise the integrity of the badge while on duty, I expect you to work that out for yourself."

  
Rosa growled, slamming her fist into the dashboard in front of her, making Amy chuckle, which only served to infuriate her girlfriend more. "Just tell me already."

"Fuck!"

"Wait, what? I didn't bring my toys with me because this was meant to be a-"

"Shut up!" Amy hissed, ducking as she pulled her gun from its holster "It's Fernandez."

Rosa turned to look towards the warehouse as she slithered down the seat "Fuck!"

"Okay, I'm ready; are you?"

"Yep. But you are making it up to me when we get home."

"Promise, now let's go before he gets away!"


	19. The cookie pt 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so brief guys, next one will be longer

 

  
Amy headed back to the relatives' room, hoping to get a few minutes peace and quiet, but the entire squad were already waiting inside. The all fell deathly silent as Amy entered the room. Amy opened her mouth, but once again found herself unable to speak. Without saying a word, Jake stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Amy, and helping her to the ground as the tears began to flow.

"I'm so sorry Ames. We all are."

 

 

* * *

 

  
Amy only looked up from Jake's chest when there was a knock on the door. "Miss Santiago? You can go through to see her now if you want." Amy nodded, forcing herself to her feet. "Do you want me to come?" Amy shook her head, looking around the room "Honestly, guys, we're going to be here a while, you can all go home." Nobody said anything as Amy left the room and followed the nurse down the corridor.

* * *

  
Taking a deep breath, Amy walked through the door that the nurse held open for her, but the minute she laid eyes on Rosa, she froze. Rosa was lying in her bed, eyes half open, wearing an oversized hospital gown.

"I'll give you two some time alone. Call me if you need anything."

Amy nodded, her feet ungluing as she took a shaky step forward, reaching for Rosa's hand. "Hey, Rosa." She whispered, slipping her hand into Rosa's and perching herself on the seat behind her. If Amy just looked at Rosa's face, it was if she wasn't in for an eating disorder. Her hair was neatly tied to one side for practicality, and she had a nasal cannula on to help her breathe.

But the minute she swept her eyes over her form, it was blatantly obvious. Rosa's hair was thin and brittle, coming loose and sticking to the white pillowcase underneath her. Her skin was patchy and dry in some areas, glistening in oil in others. The sleek, toned look was long gone, despite evidence of Rosa's vigorous exercise still remaining. Rosa's formerly glorious nails were cracked and brittle. But for Amy, the worst thing wasn't any of the physical signs. It was the pained half-open eyes, and the nylon cuffs wrapped tightly around Rosa's wrists and ankles, bruises forming underneath from where she had tried to struggle.

Amy knew Rosa was still there, that she wanted to struggle, to fight, to get free again. But she couldn't.

"I'm so sorry, Rosa." 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Rosa are flying to Chicago for a seminar. It doesn’t go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written a while ago by myself. I never intended to publish it but... here you go.
> 
> Yes, it’s similar to one by the same name, by a different author, but that one was actually written by me as well. It’s complicated.

 

I hate flying.

It feels like forever before our flight is announced, but when it is, I jump up from my seat, much to the alarm of the others sitting around me. Six hours of waiting was long enough, and I don't want to be sat here a second longer. Weeks of obsessive planning wasted thanks to weather. Not to mention I've been up since 3 am, and all I want to do is crawl into my bed and finally get some quality sleep. “Amy, chill. We’ve got forever before we start bording.” I roll my eyes at my girlfriend “Do you want to get good seats or not?” Rosa takes a very long deliberate sip of her water. “Okay. You go, I’ll meet you there.” Normally I don’t like being separated from Rosa, especially not at the airport, but I’m so desperate to board and get out of this hell hole I don’t care. “Gate 213, yeah?” Rosa grunts “Just go already, Santiago.”

  
I'm one of the first people in the queue when I get to the right gate. A large, bearded guy who reeks of sweat and alcohol queues up behind me. There's a pause before he taps me on the shoulder. "Are you alone, ma'am?" Oh great. Next time we’re driving. "No, I'm with my girlfriend." I inwardly kick myself for announcing the fact and pray that neither he or anyone around us is homophobic. The man takes staggers closer, which I wasn’t sure was possible before he does. "She can't be that bright leaving a pretty girl like you on her own." I grimace but at least he doesn’t seem to care about my sexual orientation. Squeezing my ass, he grins "Nice…” I spin around, shoving him back “Don’t touch me!” But that only serves to make him shuffle up against my body yet again. “Whoah, calm down beautiful, I’m only enjoying the view.” His hand sneaks forward, grabbing my waist and squeezing. This time, I don’t do anything, realising that retaliating only seems to encourage him. Instead I look around, noting how a few people are staring but nobody seems especially interested in getting involved. Our society is crumbling.

 

"Hey!" A sharp yell echoes through the gate, making everyone turn around to see where the noise had come from. Rosa is stood glaring at the pervert, who’s currently feeling my breasts up. “What do you think you're doing?" The man scoffs "What's it got to do with you, missy?" I smirk, feeling a little more confident now I had backup. “I’d back off if I were you.” The man looks at me, then Rosa. “I’m here, fair and square, and I won’t let myself be bossed around by two women!” Rosa growls “So you think because you’re behind a woman in a que it gives you the right to grope her?” The man pauses, returning Rosas glare as his hand sneaks over my butt, pulling me in. “I'm only playing. She doesn’t mind, do you honey?” I scowl, pushing him back as he leans in to kiss my hair. “Eurgh! Yes I do mind!” Rosa had evidently seen enough, as she was quick to grab him by the shirt and shove him up against a nearby wall, making me jump. Holding him firmly as he struggles and swears, she leans in, emphasising her words in a low warning growl. "If a woman ever asks you to back off, you back off immediately. Got it?”

 

A few people started to clap as a TSA agent escorted him away, but Rosa ignored it, instead heading straight for me. "You okay?" I nod “ I could have handled that you know.” Rosa smirks “I know. I just figured you wouldn’t want to get blood over your new pantsuit.” I look down at my sparkly white blouse and smooth it down “Blood is a nightmare to get out of delicates.” And of course, Rosa would know that.

 

* * *

 

“Can I have the window seat?” Rosa rolls her eyes but stands on the weird faux leather seats so I can get past, slumping into the window seat. “Comfy?” I nod, snuggling into Rosas neck as she sat down. “Don’t get soppy with me, Santiago.” I grin as I sit myself upright, focussing on watching the little people walk around the tarmac below us. I pretend not to notice when Rosa slips her hand into mine when the engines start up and we begin to move.

* * *

 

I awoke with a start, blinking a few times before looking around for whatever woke me. An air hostess is staring at me "Do you want any refreshments?" She woke me up for that? I shake my head, and she moves on. There's a light weight on my shoulder, I turn to my right to see Rosa fast asleep, head resting on my shoulder. She's mumbling something about decapitation which is freaking the guy to the right of her out, but I think it's cute.

 

* * *

 

I don't want to wake her when we land, partly because she looks so peaceful and partly because I'm worried she might rip my head off. That said, I know short of carrying her off the damn plane (which I have a feeling she won't appreciate) I've got to. "Rosa?" I gently shake her, stroking her shoulder with my thumb, making her moan "I know, but we're here." Her gorgeous deep chestnut eyes flicker open "What time is it?" She mumbles as her legs uncurl and stretch out. "16:04 local time." Rosa nods and sits herself up, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "Sorry, I didn't realise I'd fallen asleep on you." I smile "I don't mind.” Rosa brushes a small damp spot of drool off my shoulder "Really? You don’t mind that I’ve managed to ruin your blazer?" I shake my head “Nope. I’ve got a spare one in my case.” Rosa smirks “Of course you do.”


	21. Cheddar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy has a bad allergic reaction when she house sits for Holt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @themetgayla for the idea <3

"R- Rosa..."

Amy clawed at Rosa's leather jacket as she gasped for breath, tears streaming down her swollen face.

Rosa sighed as she rifled around in Amy's purse for her epi pen. Amy was normally ruthlessly organised, and it was absolutely typical not to be able to find it when her girlfriend desperately needed it. But panicking wasn't going to help. Amy was scared as it was is, she didn't need Rosa freaking out on her as well.

Trapping her phone between her ear and shoulder, Rosa took Amy's flailing hand and placed it on her chest, stilling the hand in Amy's purse for a second as she took a few deep breaths, praying Amy knew to copy her, because Rosa was sure as hell was out of hands. "Tranquila, bonita, no te preocupes. Yo controlo." (Calm down babe, I've got it under control)

Amy wanted to scream. 'Calm down'? How could she be calm right now? She couldn't fucking breathe! She was dying here, collapsed on the floor in her mentors' bathroom, with her girlfriend stating the obvious and a stupid dog tormenting her on the other side of the door!

Rosa continued to make a point of breathing deeply and slowly until Amy relaxed a little and mimicked her. Confident her girlfriend was calming down, Rosa's free hand began filing through the contents of Amy's purse once more until they stumbled across something long, hard and smooth. "Got it!" Amy smiled, her hand pulling away from Rosa's chest as she tugged her pants down, offering her thigh as her girlfriend tugged the cap off with her mouth, spitting it into the bin with alarming accuracy.

"Hold still."

  
In the past, anyone who has ever been with Amy when she had an anaphylactic attack would count her in before stabbing her. Rosa wasn't that sort of person. But that actually worked in Amy's favour. Amy wasn't afraid of needles. She just hated the way her pen had to be slammed into her thigh. It hurt, and it always stung like crazy. But she couldn't yelp. She couldn't cry. She had to focus on pushing and pulling air through her rapidly tightening throat.

"You good?" Amy nodded breathlessly as her throat began to unclench, the tingling in her lips fading. Rosa growled at the phone in her hand. Reaching up, she unlocked the bathroom door. "Alright. Hands around my neck." Amy blinked as Rosa ended the call, putting her phone back into her pocket. "Umm..." Sighing, Rosa moved Amy's swollen arms into position herself before pulling her into her chest.

"What are you doing?" Amy's voice was soft, but Rosa heard every word as she stood up. "Getting you to hospital." Seeing the look of pure confusion cross Amy's face as she carried her out of the bathroom rose expanded "We don't have long before your epi-pen wears off. Those dum-dums at dispatch still had me on hold. You really think they'll get here, load you up and transport you to hospital in under ten minutes?" Amy shook her head, about to verbally respond, but once she spotted Cheddar running towards the pair, tail wagging, she clung to Rosa's neck tighter. "Relájate, todo saldrá bien."{Relax, everything's fine.} Rosa whispered, turning her back to cheddar and crab walking out of the bedroom as the Corgi stared in apparent confusion.

* * *

 

"You comfy? Rosa asked as she swung herself into the driver's seat of Amy's car, jabbing the keys into the ignition and flicking on the sirens. "Yeah." Amy gasped, realising her throat was beginning to tighten up again. Noticing this, Rosa pulled out of the awkward parking spot Amy had somehow managed to wrangle her car into and sped off down the road.

"Not long now. Just keep breathing."

 

Trust Rosa to state the fucking obvious.

* * *

 

Amy's body was heavy, warm and tingly. The blast of cold air as Rosa flung open the passenger door was unwelcome, but kind of nice too.

"Amy! Keep your eyes open, Babe. Don't go to sleep on me!"

Amy's head lolled against the headrest as strong arms pulled her upwards, out of the comfortable safety of the passenger seat.

"I got you."

Rosa pulled Amy against her chest, as old air wrapped itself around her body, burning her throat as her mouth fell open, gasping for air.

"Amy, come on, eyes open!"

The air picked up as Amy's body was jostled along, her head bouncing off Rosa's collarbone.

"Come on Amy. Don't give up on me now."

Amy licked her puffy lips in a desperate attempt to lessen the burning in her throat, her teeth catching her abnormally large tongue in the process. But it didn't hurt. It just tingled.

And then, suddenly, there was a loud beep, and it wasn't cold anymore.

"I need some help over here!"

Amy whimpered as the familiar bright lights hit her, forcing her to grimace and nuzzle further into Rosa's neck, hair tickling her cheeks.

"Thatta girl Amy..."

_I need a trolley! Coming through, mind your backs! Can someone page an anaesthetist?_

"...It's going to be alright; I got you, okay?"

Amy nodded into Rosa's neck as hands clawed at her back, trying to prise her away from her girlfriend, but she clung on tighter, whispering "No te vayas." {Don't leave me} in between gasps.

"Nena, escúchame, necesito que necesites que te sueltes" {Babe, listen to me, I need you to let go.} Amy shook her head a little, sobbing into Rosa's soft curls until she could scarcely breathe. Reaching around her neck, Rosa gently pulled Amy off, lowering her into the waiting nurses' arms.

 _I got her! Okay, get that pillow outta here. That's it._ We _good? Yep! Alright, let's go!_

Just like that, Amy was... moving. It wasn't bumpy like it had been. It was smooth. But loud. And bright. So bright. Unbearably bright. Her eyelids were heavy and everything burned, but the thing in Amy's mind wasn't the pain or the fear or the fact she couldn't fucking breathe, it was Rosa, and how her hand was entangled in hers.

  
_Bay four, please! Can we get that bed out of here? Yep! Put it in bay 6! I don't want to see it floating around! Miss, can you step back, please?_

_Miss?_

_Miss?_

"Miss!"

Rosa looked up from Amy's clammy face, "Move!" Shaking herself out of her daydream, Rosa allowed herself to be pushed out the way as doctors and nurses swarmed around Amy, attaching various machines and equipment to her.

"What happened?"

Rosa blinked "Umm... Anaphylaxis. She's had her epi-pen, bu-"  
"Alright. Thank you. Wait outside, please."

"Bu-"

"I asked you to wait outside."

Rosa blinked, staggering backwards as she watched her girlfriend fight for breath, the gravity of the situation suddenly hitting her all at once. Someone grabbed her shoulder and began pulling her towards the door, but she couldn't tear her eyes off Amy.

_Right, I need 10 of chlorphenamine and 200 of hydrocortisone..._

 

* * *

  
"Amy?"

  
Amy's eyelids fluttered open to reveal her girlfriend sat on the chair next to her bed. "Hey, Rosa."

Rosa smiled, squeezing Amy's hand "You gave me a scare."

Amy squeezed back, her free hand coming up to wipe her tired eyes "I'm sorry. This was my fault; I should have never agreed to house sit fo- "

"Don't be sorry."

"Bu-"

"Shut up."

Amy's mouth worked for a few more seconds, but it fell still when Rosa gave her a look.

  
There was a long pause before Rosa squeezed Amy's hand tighter. "I love you, Amy."

"I love you too-"

"Did I say you could speak?"

"N-"

"Then why are you trying to speak?"


	22. The Jacket (TW!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosa gets a mysterious note of Amy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempts, graphic!!!

"Umm... are you Detective Diaz?"

Rosa glared up at the beat cop stood on the other side of her desk, not saying anything.

"She is!" Jake called from the other side of the bullpen. Without breaking eye contact with the beat cop, Rosa threw a stapler at Jake, hitting him in the arm and making him yelp.

The beat cop looked over at Jake, then back at Rosa, who was still scowling up at him "Is he-"

Rosa promptly cut him off before he could freak out more "Yes."

The beat cop's mouth worked for a moment more, wondering who gave this crazy woman her badge, when Rosa spoke up. "What do you want?"

"Um... detective Santiago asked me to give this to you." The beat cop held out a white envelope, neat cursive on the front reading 'Rosa'.

Rosa snatched it, unceremoniously ripping it open without a word of thanks.

"Err... okay. I'm gonna- I'm gonna go."

"Wait!"

The beat cop turned back around, finding Rosa stood up over her desk, steadying herself with one hand and gripping the open letter with the other. "Who gave you this letter?"

"Detective Sa-"

Rosa looked up from the letter, colour draining from her face"Where is she?"

"Um..."

Rosa slammed the letter down onto her desk, making everyone in the bullpen jump "Don't fucking 'Um' me, I need answers!"

"I- I don't know."

Rosa growled, walking around her desk and grabbing the cops' jacket, pulling him in, so they were almost nose to nose. "Where. Is. She?"

"I last saw her g-going into the ladies' toilets downstairs bu-"

Rosa didn't wait for him to finish. Shoving past him, she sprinted over to the stairs calling "I'm going on lunch!" over her shoulder as she went.

* * *

 

"Amy, let me in!"

Rosa pounded on the wooden door in front of her so hard it made her knuckles bleed. "If you don't let me in, I'm busting this door down." There was no response. Sighing, Rosa took a step back, lining herself up before kicking at the door repeatedly until the lock gave way. Rosa charged through the door, scanning the empty room for any signs of life. She only noticed the floor when she realised Amy wasn't there.

"Rosa?"

Rosa jumped, but her gaze refused to be dragged away from the laminate below her feet.

"What's going on?" Jake walked through the threshold "Are you- ohhh fuck. T- That's a lot of blood. Oh wow. Okay. Um...Is it... is it y-yours?"

Rosa shook her head, determined not to cry.

Jake turned around, not being able to stare at it any longer as the reality of the situation set in."Should I call dispatch?"

"Yeah." Rosa shook her head, mentally switching herself from girlfriend to detective mode. "Get onto security as well. There's CCTV everywhere. We need to know which way she's gone."

Jake hesitated. It didn't feel right to leave Rosa.

"What are you still doing here? Go!"

Jake retreated. But only because Rosa was scary. Not because he was scared of blood.  
*  
Rosa paced behind the captain's chair as he reviewed the CCTV. She didn't know why she couldn't bring herself to watch; she just couldn't.

"She went left."

Rosa stopped pacing and stared at the computer screen "You sure?"

Holt spun his chair around so he could face Rosa "Do I look like the sort of imbecile who confuses his left and rights?"

"Hey!" Jake's mouth fell open in mock offence.

Shoving past Jake, Rosa sprinted towards the stairs.

"I can't believe you'd say that ab-"

"Jake! With me!"

"I'd better go, or she's gonna-"

"Now!"

 

* * *

 

Sirens were so loud. They made it almost impossible to think.

Thankfully, they didn't make it impossible to see.

"Stop the car!"

* * *

 

"Amy!" Rosa gasped as she ran towards a crumbled lump collapsed in an alley. It didn't move. She wasn't even sure if it was breathing. "Amy..."

Throwing herself on the ground next to her, Rosa swept the hair off her face, revealing pale skin and tainted blue lips. "Jake! It's her!"

Jake stopped running towards them "I'll go get the car!"

"Good idea..." Rosa tried to yell, but it broke into a soft sob as she realised the floor was warm. The thick substance coated everything in its path. Rosa wasn't going to cry. Not here in public. She had to stop it. She had to be a detective and not a girlfriend. Pulling off her leather jacket, Rosa wrapped it around one of Amy's forearms. She should have brought a first aid kit.

The familiar toot of Jake's horn came both too soon and not soon enough. Rosa scooped Amy off the concrete, her leather jacket tumbling to the floor as blood dripped from her clothing and her arms, coating Rosa's boots and the pavement she walked over.

"It's alright, Ames, I got you."

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

"What?"

"I got you a birthday present," Amy said simply, reaching under the bed so she could grab the gift, which was neatly wrapped in skull and crossbones paper, and setting it down on the duvet.

"You know I don't celebrate my birthday. Also, that paper is adorable."

Amy pushed the present towards Rosa "Well it was that or pink unicorns."

Rosa sighed, pushing the present back to Amy "I don't want it."

"Just open it already."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Put it away, or I slit..." Rosa trailed off as her eyes fell upon Amy's badly scarred arms.

Amy bit her lip, hating the look that passed over Rosa's face. A combination of pain, pity and self-hatred. "Trust me. You'll like this." She whispered, pushing the present towards Rosa again.

Rosa nodded, fingers slipping under the creases of paper and pulling. In the centre, neatly folded up between the shell of paper, was a leather jacket. Looking up at Amy, Rosa allowed her fingers to trace over the soft, well-worn material.

"After I came out of surgery, Jake said that you wouldn't leave me. He popped in to try to convince you to go home and realised you were missing your jacket. Guess he figured you must have left it behind when you..." Amy trailed off. It had been just under a year since her attempt, but she and Rosa still hadn't managed to talk about it. "When you rescued me."

Rosa looked down at the jacket, tracing the fine lines with her fingertip.

"He's a pretty good detective."

Rosa nodded. He was a good friend too.

"Anway, he found it, took it home, washed it and was going to give it back to you when I came out of the hospital. But I was still a suicidal wreck, you were busy looking after me, and that made us a bit... grumpy, so he decided to wait."

Rosa snorted. They had been pretty intolerable.

"Jake being Jake, he forgot about it, and by the time he did remember it was just in time for your birthday. So, happy birthday. Although I guess it's more of a present from Jake than me."

Rosa looked up at Amy "You've already given me my present."

Amy smiled, blushing. Rosa normally hated cringy stuff.

"Remember the phone charger?"

Amy blinked "Oh."

Rosa raised an eyebrow, cocking it just so

"I- I mean, yeah, I do! That was... that was definitely your birthday present!"

Rosa snorted "Relax; I'm just messing with you."

Amy pulled a face "So... that means I've... got to get you a present?"

Rosa laughed. Not one of those fake laughs she sometimes did when she was annoyed, or one of those scoffs she did when Amy or the squad said something 'stupid' or 'dumb'. It was a proper one. "No, Amy. You... You're..." Rosa wiped her eyes "Oh for fuck sake."

Amy touched Rosa's arm "It's okay. I know what you were going to say. You don't have to say it."

"No. Y- You're the gift, Amy." Rosa was full blown crying now "I... I love you so much, dumbass." She sniffed, wiping her eyes "I didn't cry this much when you were dying. Just so you know."

Amy grinned, tears trickling down her own cheeks "I know that's a lie, but okay."

Pushing the jacket to one side, Rosa pulled Amy into her arms, sobbing into her hair as she lay down.

 

 

 

"Tell anyone about this, and we're through."


	23. Breathe me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy's not in a good space.
> 
> That's okay though, Rosa's there to help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, massive trigger warnings for this one.
> 
> TW - SUICIDE, OVERDOSES, PHYSICAL RESTRAINTS, SELF HATE

It's complicated.

 

Yep. That about sums it up. Why, aged 32 I'm sat on the floor in the handicapped stall of some mall, rocking slightly and trying not to throw up. I need everyone to back off, but nobody is listening to me. I keep saying "I'm okay." But my tone holds no real reassurance. Someone's muttering something about how I'm not okay, the reason not really mattering and wanting to know how much I took, but I can't think of anything other than 'not enough'.

 

I need to cut. I've been clean for a few years now, but I don't care anymore. I need to escape this horrible foggy nauseated body. I feel in my pockets, but there's nothing. I make do with my nails, slamming them into my upper arm and dragging downwards, leaving white marks and the occasional spot of blood behind them. It doesn't help much and causes everyone to freak out, reaching for my hands and pulling them away. I struggle at first but eventually give up when they don't.

 

I hate it. I hate how it doesn't help. I hate how weak I am. How easily they stopped me. I hate that they found me in the first place.

 

I jump when the paramedic arrives, greeting me by touching my shoulder gently. I swallow a menacing snarl that uncharacteristically rises in my throat as I spin around, and mumble something about not appreciating being touched. Of course, they take no notice, pulling me up onto my feet and frog-marching me out of the bathroom and through the mall. I want to scream. To fight. To run off. But someone is gripping my elbow tightly, and a rising feeling of fear over the unknown consumes me, ensuring I plod next to them without a struggle.

  
  


I cry on the way to the hospital. I hate crying, but I'm too emotional to remember that. I try to reassure myself with overdose statistics, telling myself there isn't much they can do to save me, even if they wanted to, but it doesn’t help much. I know deep down I should have chosen another way. I just couldn’t bear the thought of someone suffering because of what they witnessed. Stupid feelings.  Sighing, I curl my legs into my chest and lean into the seat, watching the reflection of flickering blue lights on the cream walls as tears trickle down my cheeks.

 

By the time we arrive, I'm tired, in pain and scared. I can't bear the thought of dealing with the amount of emotional pain I'm in. I don't know why I didn't say 'no' and just go jump in front of a car somewhere. I'm not convinced it occurred to me in the first place. Maybe I'm so used to obeying orders I just accepted it without a fight or logical thought. I hate that about myself. I hate how malleable I am.

 

Walking in through the automatic doors, I'm blinded by the unforgiving hospital lights and hit with the overpowering smell of bleach. I realise more than ever before how much I don’t want to be here right now. I know the drill. They’re going to force me to drink activated charcoal and then leave me in a corridor on my own for hours on end at the very least.

 

I can’t be doing with that bullshit.

 

So when the lady at the desk asks me what I’m in for, I force a smile and tell her that there’s been a mistake. That I’ve not overdosed, and actually I’m feeling fine,  but thank you for asking. And with that, I turn around and head for the exit, my new plan forming in my mind. Fuck other people’s feelings.

 

But then I feel a firm hand on my shoulder, stopping me from going anywhere. This time, I don’t manage to control the snarl, and within seconds I’ve got the owner of the hand pinned up against the wall. It doesn’t take long before there are people hauling me back. There are hands everywhere, clinging on to any free bit of body they can. I’m fairly sure I can hear my hair being ripped out of my head.

 

Everything falls into slow motion as I try to make my escape.. It feels like every muscle in my arm is tearing, but I can't relax. I need to get away. There’s no fucking way they’re taking me alive. Not this time.

  
  


Next thing I know, I'm on the floor, firm hands holding me down. The pressure increases until I swear it's going to crush me. I can taste blood and someone's screaming so loud that even in this foggy state it hurts my ears. It takes me a few moments for me to realise that it's me making that ungodly noise. I know I should try go limp in the hope they’ll let go, But I can't. I physically can’t.

 

“Amy!”

 

“Miss, you can-“

 

“Fuck off, I’m her girlfriend.” There’s a pause before I’m hit with a cool whisky and coconut scented breeze. “Amy? Amy, babe, it’s me.”

 

I can’t help but smile a little. It’s Rosa. She’s come to get me out of this hellhole. Her hand rests on the small of my back as she kneels down next to me.

 

“Alright guys, back off, we need space.”

 

“Mi-“

 

“I said back off.”

 

And just like that, I’m free. I instantly stand up, making a beeline for the door, but Rosa is frustratingly prepared for this. She’s got her hand wrapped around my wrist, so when I stand, I pull her to her feet. Within seconds she’s wrapping me in her arms and lowering me gently to the floor as I scream and lash out. I don’t want to, it’s just… instinct. Every cell in my body is screaming at me, telling me to break free.

 

“ Amy, I know you’re scared, but you need to chill the fuck out. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

 

That was sort of the point, wasn’t it? I didn’t want to be here, how could she not understand that? How could she be so cruel as to not let me escape?  Rosa doesn’t let up, she holds me for a while, letting me struggle and lash out, teeth snapping at anything that comes within reach. Just as I think I’m finally getting somewhere, she holds me against the cold floor and swings her leg over my back, trapping me. I kick, scream and claw, trying to force her off, but she doesn’t budge. Instead, she sweeps my hair out of my mouth and wipes the tears from my eyes.

 

“Amy, I know you’re scared, but  I need you to calm down.”

 

I shake my head. I just want her off already. Why won’t they let me run? What was so fucking bad about killing yourself? The world would still keep turning, wouldn’t it? 

 

Rosa sighs and mumbles something I can’t make out over my cries to someone. I don’t like that. I don’t like it one bit. But the more I try to stop crying the louder I am. 

 

"Tranquila, Amy, no te preocupes." {Amy, relax. You don’t need to be scared.} Rosa whispers as she rubs my back, something that was always guaranteed to get me to calm down at home when I had a panic attack. Today it doesn’t work because no matter what I do, I can’t get rid of the feeling of impending doom.

 

I know what’s going to happen as soon as I feel deft fingers tugging at my belt. I find myself clawing at them, as I sob and beg Rosa to help me. She doesn’t say anything, or if she does, I don’t hear it over my cries. 

 

Within seconds my pants are around my ankles. Rosa slips up my back and holds me firmly into the floor as the needle goes in.  It hurts and I spin around, but Rosa dodges my teeth with practised ease. I try to fight back for a few more moments, but eventually, I give up, knowing there’s now nothing I can do to get away. Rosa tells everyone to fuck off, leaving just us lying in the middle of the hospital corridor as I sob into the cold laminate below me.. I still want to run, to scream, to kick, but I can’t. My body is too heavy for any of that. Rosa seems to know my struggle and whispers Spanish reassurances and rubs my back.

  
  


After a few minutes, when my sobs have settled, and I'm panting with excursion, Rosa squeezes my shoulder. “There you go. Such a good girl.” I’ve always had a thing for praise, and despite my frustration, I can’t help but relax a little more. With that, Rosa climbs off me. She’s not heavy but my body feels much lighter now she isn’t on it. 

 

Wiping my hair out of my face, and helping me onto my side, Rosa lays down next to me.“You okay babe?” 

 

What sort of question was that? Of course, I’m not okay! Rosa must have seen the displeasure on my face because she sighed and rested her hand on my back, rubbing it. “I know, I’m sorry.” I don’t think I’ve heard Rosa apologise without an eye roll before.

 

“Can I pick you up?” Rosa asks after a while. I don’t have the strength to nod so I just grunt, my body going limp as Rosa scoops me up. I don’t know where she’s taking me, but I feel safe in her arms. Which I suppose is something. I still can’t help but feel bitterly disappointed and frustrated when I’m gently laid onto a soft mattress in a cubicle though.

 

For a moment, I panic, feeling suddenly vulnerable and trapped, but Rosa pulls the curtains closed and grabs a  nearby blanket. There’s a moments pause before she climbs onto the bed next to me, wrapping the blanket around us and letting me rest in her chest as her legs curl around my own. As much as I still don’t want to be here, this is nice. 

 

Rosa strokes my hair, watching as I stare intently at the curtain. “You feeling sleepy?” I nod a little into Rosa’s chest, all too aware of how heavy and warm my body was. “Then close your eyes. I won’t let anyone bother us.” As much as I hate her for helping the nurses, I trusted those words. And I was really quite tired. It would probably feel really nice to finally sleep. Nuzzling down into the warm folds between Rosas body and the blanket, I close my eyes, trusting Rosa to keep guard, for a little while at least.

 


	24. The kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy's heading home following a late shift, and finds a rather heavy fast food bag in the corner of the lift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief TW: About 4-5 lines down Jake pretends to take a photo of Amy and Rosa kissing
> 
>  
> 
> Otherwise, ENJOYYY

Amy grinned as Rosa pressed a light kiss to her lips, making everyone in the bullpen stop putting on their coats and collecting their belongings so they could wolf whistle and whoop. 

 

“Another one for the Peralta spank bank!” Jake grinned, holding his phone up and pretending to snap a photo of the two.

 

Rolling her eyes, Rosa pulled a few centimetres away from Amy’s lips “Walk away, Jake.”

 

Sticking out his tongue, Jake lowered his phone and turned to leave the ladies in peace. By now everyone who’d been watching the two kiss had wondered off. The night shift was due in soon, but right now, the ladies were alone.

 

Amy sighed as she gazed into Rosa’s chestnut eyes “I wish I didn’t have to stay here. I mean I love paperwork, but I’d much rather be cuddling with you.” 

 

Rosa smirked, leaning in closer still as her hand snaked up to squeeze Amy’s breast “Cuddling? Is that all?”

 

“Why? Did you have something else in mind, Diaz?”

 

“Maybe. You’ll have to wait and see.” Pressing another light kiss to Amy’s lips, Rosa pulled away, picking up her bag off the floor as the night shift crew came in. “Have fun with your paperwork.” 

 

Amy’s mouth dropped open in protest as she watched Rosa’s ass retreat to the lift, all too aware that while her mouth was dry there was another area that was anything but. It wasn’t fair Rosa got to mess with her like this. Making a note to get her back when she got home, she collected the case files off her desk, carrying them through to the break room so she could work undisturbed. Undisturbed by people that is anyway.

  
  


* * *

 

When the clock struck 6 pm, Amy packed away with a happy sigh. She, of course, loved her paperwork, but tonight, she had Rosa to head back to, which was just as fun, if not more so. Standing up, Amy wished the crew a pleasant shift and headed over to the lift. Within seconds, the doors were opening with a familiar ding. Inside was a small brown fast food bag. Litterbugs were common, but Amy had never known someone stupid enough to leave a fast food wrapper in a police precinct lift. Sighing, she walked in and scooped it up, pressing the zero button as she did so. 

 

It wasn’t until the bag started to wriggle she realised that it was heavier than it should have been and opened it up. Sometimes squirrels and mice liked to crawl into bags for warmth and safety, and obviously, such a creature didn’t stand a chance in a lift. Only this was no squirrel. It was a white furry thing. With a surprised yelp, Amy dropped the bag on the floor, and the fluffy thing ran out, crashing into the lift doors. It lay perfectly still, and for a minute Amy wondered if she’d killed it. But then it stood up and shook itself off, revealing two pointy ears and a pair of stark blue eyes. Looking up at her, it meowed.

 

For a minute, Amy was frozen. There was a cat in the lift with her. But when the doors pinged again and began to open, she was quick to close them again. It was obvious from its ketchup encrusted coat that it had once been a pet, and stood no chance out on the streets of Brooklyn. “Sighing, Amy crouched down, making kissy noises at it until it approached her. With one finger, she tentatively reached out and pet its soft furry head. “Where have you come from? Hmm?” She asked it, not that it replied. “I think you need to come home with me, don’t you?” The cat meowed again, as if in agreement. Gently running her hands over its back, she picked it up, holding it close to her chest. “I think we’d better tell Rosa to come to pick us up, hadn’t we?” She cooed, opening the lift doors and carrying it outside.

 

* * *

 

“What the fuck is that?” Rosa asked 30 minutes later as she dismounted from her bike and pulled her helmet off.

 

Amy looked down at the cat in her arms and then back up at Rosa “It’s a kitten.”

 

Rosa rolled her eyes “I can see that. I mean why are you holding it?”

 

“I found it in the lift. I think it’s been abandoned.” 

 

“We’re not keeping it Santiago. It’s probably got fleas. Just let him off here.”

 

Amy turned away from Rosa, clutching the kitten to her chest “Don’t listen to her. You’re perfectly clean aren’t you?”

 

“I bet you $50 it's not. Anyway, aren’t you supposed to be allergic to cats?”

 

“That’s dogs.” Amy reminded her girlfriend “I’m fine around cats; we had one as a kid.” 

 

Rosa sighed, eying the cat and then Amy. “Fine, we’re taking it to a shelter, and then we’re going home.”

 

Amy shook her head, holding the cat closer to her chest as she cuddled it. “I’ll do a deal. We’re taking him to a vet, and if it’s not got fleas, heartworm or ticks, then we’re keeping him.” 

 

Rosa raised an eyebrow “And if it has?”

Amy looked down at the kitten in her arms, rocking it “Then we take him to a shelter.” Although Amy knew deep down, no matter what, she had no intention of taking this adorable bundle of fluff to a shelter.

 

Rosa sighed “Alright. Get on and we’ll take him to the vet. I’m not paying though.”

 

Amy laughed a little then “I can’t hold him and balance on your back. You’re going to need to drive us.”

 

Rosa rolled her eyes “For fuck’s sake…”

 

* * *

 

“I wonder if it’s a girl or a boy.” Amy mused as she, Rosa, and kitten sat in the vet waiting room, waiting to be called.

 

“Does it matter?” Rosa sighed, now sick to death of this furry thing that had invaded her home life.

 

“Well, it does if we’re keeping it. It needs a name, Rosa.” 

 

Rolling her eyes, Rosa turned Amy “Give it here.” Confused, Amy did as she was asked and handed the kitten over, watching as Rosa unceremoniously lifted it up and peered between its legs. “Yep. Dick.” She announced a little too loudly

 

Amy blinked “Are you calling me a… o-or has he…” Amy gestured wildly with her hands “... Got one?”

 

“Both,” Rosa stated, handing him back. Amy grinned, accepting the kitten, and holding him up to her face “Looks like you and Rosa are going to be sharing the couch tonight.” She cooed, sticking her tongue out at her girlfriend who rolled her eyes and playfully tapped Amy’s arm 

 

“Umm... Amy Santiago?” Called a nurse in a white coat. Amy grinned “That’s us!”

 

* * *

“So he’s not called Amy?”

 

Amy forced a giggle, shaking her head “No, I found him in a bag in a lift, and thought I’d better bring him in to make sure he’s okay. I didn’t know what to put under name on the form since he’s not ours, so I put mine down.” 

 

The vet smiled at her, feeling the kitten over for any lumps or bumps “Well he was certainly a pet up until very recently. He’s in good condition and seems to be pretty healthy to me.” 

 

“No fleas or heartworms?” Amy asked, smugly turning to Rosa, who rolled her eyes.

 

“Nope, he’s all good! I just want to check a few things, and then you guys can be on your way.” 

 

Rosa sighed to herself as Amy danced on the spot a little. A deal was a deal. And in his own way, the kitten was kind of cute.  “Fine. You win.” She paused, knowing she’d regret the words to come out of her mouth at some point “What are we going to call him?”

 


	25. Teddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy loves Teddy, and she can definitely change him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: DOMESTIC ABUSE, MENTIONING OF SERIOUS HARM
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry I've been AWOL guys, I've been going through hell recently, but I'm back now :)

“Teddy! What are you doing here?”

 

Teddy smiled at his girlfriend as she stared at him from the breakroom sofa, mouth full of salad. “I was in the area, thought I’d just drop in.” Amy nodded, swallowing and licking the salad cream off her lips, but making no attempt to get up.

 

Teddy stepped forward, gently moving Amy’s lunchbox off her lap and pulling her onto her feet. “Aren’t you going to give me a kiss then? I’ve travelled through Brooklyn to see you.” 

 

Amy nodded, pressing a quick peck to his lips and hoping he couldn’t taste the chocolate on her breath.

 

* * *

“Santiago! Open this damn door already!”

 

Amy stared at the locked bathroom door, fingers gripping the sink basin, partly to steady her and partly because they refused to let go.  Her mouth worked, but no words came out.

 

“Alright, you had your chance!”

 

With that, Amy heard the familiar clicks of the lock being picked, and within seconds it flew open, revealing a rather disgruntled Rosa. There were a few long seconds of pause before realisation dawned on her, her face softening as she closed the door and took a few tentative steps towards Amy. “He’s abusing you, isn’t he?” 

 

Amy shook her head fiercely “No!” Rosa raised an eyebrow as Amy dropped her gaze “N- Nothing like that.”

 

Rosa took another step forward, her voice dropping into the one she used for victims of crime “Talk to me, Santiago.”

 

* * *

 

Amy hated herself. This was a complete overreaction. Nobody in the NYPD was going to be able to look her in the eye after this. Taking a shaky deep breath in, she forced a smile and reached over to hold Teddy’s hand.

 

“Dectective Diaz is incorrect.”

 

* * *

It was fine at first. Teddy had seemed to laugh it off. They went to a drive through McDonalds on the way home, and Amy was allowed to have whatever she wanted.

 

Then they got home.

 

All of a sudden, it was anything but fine.

* * *

Rosa dialled Jake’s number for the 8th time in the last hour as she ran down the stairs of the prescient, case file grasped in her left hand.  It went to voicemail, just like the others had. “Jake, call me back. It’s important.”

 

* * *

  
  


“Teddy, you piece of shit, I know you’re both in there, open the fucking door already!” No answer. Rosa knew they were in. The lights were on, and tonight was movie night for the pair.  “Fine! Have it your way!”

 

Rosa sighed and took aim; she was strong but petite, and she needed to hit the door just right if this was going to work. Just as she was about to take her first strike, Teddy opened the door a crack, the chain stopping Rosa from barging through. “Can I help you?” 

 

Rosa growled “Don’t play dumb with me, Wells. Where is she?”

 

Teddy shrugged “She’s sleepin-” 

 

“Bullshit.” Within seconds, the chain was broken, and Teddy was pinned up against a nearby wall. “Teddy Wells, you’re under arrest for-”

 

“Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry! I’m here!”

 

Rosa had never been so glad to hear her stupid partners’ voice in all her life.

 

* * *

 

“I found her!”

 

Jake yelled something back over his shoulder but Rosa didn’t hear him. “Amy.” She whispered, kneeling down next to the bloodied body and sweeping a few stray hairs off its face. For a horrible moment, nothing happened, it just lay perfectly still, slowly turning a faint shade of blue. But then, it took a shaky deep breath in, and Rosa was greeted with the sight of deep brown eyes fluttering open.

 

“Don’t move. You’re safe, and I’m going to get you out of here, okay?” Amy nodded, tears welling in her eyes as she swallowed a pained yelp. Rosa slid an arm under Amy’s neck, and the other under her knees, pulling her into her arms effortlessly. Amy groaned but lifted her head enough to rest it on Rosa’s collarbone, causing blood to dribble down Rosa’s skin. Standing up, Rosa carried Rosa through to the living room, where Jake and a few other cops were waiting.

  
  


“Want me to call an ambulance?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“You sure? She’s-”

 

“Yep. I got her.” 

 

“Sure you’re sure?”

 

“Ask me again and I decapitate you.”

* * *

* * *

 

Amy woke with a start, unfamiliar surroundings only spooking her more. Rosa lifted her head and reached out, grabbing one of Amy’s flailing hands and stroking it with her thumb. “Estoy aqui nena” {I’m here, babe} 

 

Amy took a few deep, shaky breaths, blinking in the darkness as she slowly remembered where she was. 

 

She was safe.


	26. Rock Bottom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW Domestic violence, it does get a lil' graphic

Amy groaned as she pulled her vomit sodden top over her head. She had specifically chosen not to go into medicine for this reason, but it appeared she and Rosa were going to get covered in sick anyway.

 

“Open up, Santiago, I need to change!”

 

Amy crossed her arms over her naked body “I’m naked!”

 

Rosa pounded on the door harder “We’re both girls!”

 

Sighing, Amy unlocked the door, standing just behind it for privacy. Rosa barged through, her fingers already working at the hem of her top. And just like that, she was topless. With the door still open. Amy knew she should probably close it but she couldn’t force her eyes off Rosa’s toned body. It was paralyzing her, striking her dumb and leaving her needing her inhaler.

 

“You going to close the door or are you waiting until Boyle walks past and has a heart attack?”

 

Amy didn’t see the point of closing the door now that Rosa was practically naked all apart from a black thong, which wasn’t really a thong, more a scrap of lace that meant she could see ever-

 

“Santiago!”

 

Amy shook her head and closed the door, mumbling her apologies before turning around to get changed in silence.

 

* * *

 

Rosa hadn’t meant to glace over towards Amy. But now she had, she couldn’t look away. And not because she was hot in a dorky way. There were bruises along her hips. Faded and small, but bruises all the same.  She’d seen enough domestic abuse and murder cases to recognise the faint imprints of fingertips in them.

 

* * *

 

Rosa had originally resolved to leave it be. Who knew? Maybe she was into kinky shit in the bedroom.  It was none of her business anyway. But it nagged at her all day. When she was trying to work. When she was trying to eat. When she was trying to take a friggen’ dump in peace. It wouldn’t leave her alone. So, in the end, she resolved to talk to Amy about it later. Only later never came because, by the time she’d freed up, it was hometime and Teddy was already stood over Amy’s desk, waiting for her to finish. Something tingly ran through Rosa’s spine, a tightening feeling enveloping her chest as she watched Teddy rest his hands on Amy’s shoulders, making her jump, but instead of turning around she stiffened, fixing her intense stare on the monitor in front of her. Frowning, Teddys’ grip tightened, leaning in until his lips tickled the top of her ear. 

 

“Santiago!”

 

Teddy instantly stood upright, his hand releasing Amy’s shoulder.as she spun around, faux smile plastered on her alarmingly pale face. “Yeah?” Her tone was too high, and everyone knew it. 

 

Amy really couldn’t do bright and breezy. Rosa strolled over to the pair, slamming a report down on Amy’s desk as her eyes flicked up to glare at Teddy. “We got him.” Teddy arched an eyebrow “Got who?”

 

“Well this has been lovely, Teddy, do you fancy takeout tonight? Great, that’s sorted, I’ll order it now. Sorry Rosa, but you’re going to have to do this without me. I’ll speak to you tomorrow, bye!” 

 

And, just like that, Amy was hot-tailing it out of the bullpen, Teddy in close pursuit. Rosa groaned as she turned back to Amy’s computer monitor, half-finished report still glaring at her.

 

It was really none of her business. 

 

* * *

“Amy! Open up!”

 

When there was no response, Rosa sighed. She was likely overreacting. They’d probably gone off to the Berkshires for a romantic weekend away filled with font documentaries and vanilla sex. But the worry still lingered. It wasn’t like Amy to suddenly take time off work or indeed take time off work at all. Growling, Rosa dialled Holt’s number and turned to head back to her bike.

 

* * *

Pulling her helmet off, Rosa stared up at Teddys’ building, heart thumping rapidly underneath her leathers.

* * *

 

Pain.

 

Amy should be used to it by now.  She should be used to how noisy her evenings were. But she wasn’t. It stung badly, leaving her withering and begging him to stop inbetween gasps. She always got extra for that.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t until Rosa was walking up the 9th-floor stairs she heard what sounded like a kitten crying. All remaining doubt was consumed by a sudden burst of anger, and she found herself flinging the stairway door open so she could charge down the corridor towards Teddy’s flat.

 

Rosa didn’t bother knocking. A few swift kicks and the door burst open, revealing Teddy sat atop a half-naked Amy, one hand pressing down against her trachea as she coughed and spluttered, clawing at it desperately, while his other whacked her hipbones, leaving stingy red welts. Rosa shot forward, ripping Teddy off his girlfriend and shoving him up against the wall.

* * *

 

Within a few minutes, backup arrived, and Rosa handed Teddy over, promising him that she would personally deal with him back at the 9-9. He’d replied to her, but she’d already wandered off in favour of finding where Amy had hidden herself.

 

Rosa found her curled up in a closet, taking shaky deep breaths as she stared at the ceiling “They won’t do anything you know.” An all too familiar wave of pain squeezed Rosa’s chest tight. She knew Amy wasn’t wrong. “They’ll take him in, interview him, then release him, and then he’ll come back and  I…” Amy trailed off, shaking her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I- I can’t…” 

 

“Yes you can,” Rosa whispered, kneeling down and slowly reaching across to lay a hand on Amy’s arm.  “You don’t understand, it-” Rosa cut her off “It’s hard. He’s a dick, but you love him, and you feel guilty.” Amy nodded, fiercely wiping her eyes “I can’t leave him. He’s not a bad guy, honestly, I shouldn’t hav-” Rosa sighed, pulling Amy against her chest. “This isn’t your fault, and you don’t owe that dickhead shit, least of all forgiveness.”


	27. Love & Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy has never ever taken a day off sick in her life
> 
>  
> 
> But when Rosa gets sick, everything changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been AWOL guys, I was on suicide watch for a week and a half and it meant I couldn't really write. I'm okay now, and everything is due to be updated

Amy sat tapping at her desk, watching the clock on the wall intently. Everyone bar her was in the briefing room, talking about God knows what. It didn't matter though. Nothing mattered. Rosa wasn't here, and all Amy could do was sit there and watch as the minutes ticked by, waiting for a phone call that said her girlfriend had been in a horrible motorcycle accident.

She shouldn't have let Rosa bike to work this morning. She could have very easily driven over and picked her up.

Not that it was a good enough excuse, but the only reason she had was so that nobody would suspect anything; it wasn't that she was ashamed of Rosa, it was just... coming out was so complicated, and dating a close college could get so messy and -

"Amy!"

"Huh?" Amy spun around in her chair, seeing the entire squad (aside from Rosa) stood behind her, looking worried as Jake pulled a face "What's going on with you?"

Amy's gaze dropped back to the clock, then back at Jake "Nothing, I've just got lots of..." She visually searched her desk, picking up the nearest bit of paper she could see "...work to be doing."

Jake squinted at the bit of paper "What's this?" Reaching out, he snatched it off her "Hey! Give that back!" Jake shook his head, running around to his desk and jumping on it so Amy couldn't reach him as he read the page out loud. "Date ideas - number one- A ride over Brooklyn bridge at midnight..." Jake peered over at Amy and grinned broadly, holding the paper just out of reach as she tried to jump on the desk next to him, although it was hard in high heels. "...Note to self: Get own leathe-"

"Peralta, that's enough!" Both Amy and Jake stopped squabbling as they turned to face the captain, whom Amy had forgotten was watching. "Both of you get off the desk..." Jake sighed to himself as he kneeled down and climbed off the desk, leaving Amy half on, half off it, still staring at her mentor with a deer in headlights expression. "... Peralta, get back to work, I will deal with you later, Santiago, my office." Amy snatched the piece of paper out of Jake's hand and scrunched it up; throwing it in a nearby bin before doing as she was asked.   
*  
"What's got into you today, Amy?"

Amy's nose wrinkled. It felt weird to have the captain call her by her first name. To be honest, this entire setup was weird; she'd never been in here when he drew the blinds and closed the door before. "Amy?" Holt's tone was... different. Gentler. Leaning back on his chair, he sighed "I'm assuming you and dectecti- Rosa are dating?" Amy nodded sheepishly, refusing to meet his gaze. "And that's why you weren't in briefing? Because she's not here?" Amy nodded again, very glad Holt wasn't making her use actual words. "Do you know where she is?" Amy thought for a second. Rosa was very independent by nature and hadn't heard a peep out of her since last night. Holt seemed to take her silence as an answer and picked his phone up. "Um, sir, what are yo-?" Amy instantly stopped speaking as soon as Holt held up a finger.

"Streight to answerphone."

Amy paled as Holt stood up, collecting his coat from the back of his chair. "Do you know where Ros- Detective Diaz lives?" Amy nodded "I don't know the exact address, but I know how to get to it from here." The captain headed for the door "That'll have to do..." Amy shot him a confused look as he opened the door and gestured for her to leave "Go get your belongings, I'll go speak to Sargent Jeffords. We'll meet in the lobby downstairs in exactly five minutes."

Amy smiled to herself; he totally approved of her and Rosa.

"Now, Santiago!"

*  
"Anything?"

Amy shook her head as she hung up. No hospitals in the area had admitted someone under the name of Rosa Diaz. Which could be seen as both a good thing and a bad thing. Seeing Amy's worried look, Holt turned on the sirens and began weaving through traffic faster than he'd been before.  
"Right, radio dispatch and let them know we have got a missing officer. Do you know any spots she likes to frequent?" Amy sighed, hating herself for not getting Rosa to talk more "Um.. no." Holt nodded "Put out a BOLO for now. If she's not at home we can send out a search party then."

Amy squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted her girlfriend found, but at the same time, there were rules in place for events like this. It was going to look very bad on the captain if she demanded a search team now and Rosa ended up sleeping through her alarm or something.

Although that had never happened before.

*  
Amy's blood ran cold as Holt knocked on Rosa's door, only to be met with silence. "Maybe we should call for backup." Holt shook his head, knocking on the door one more time " Diaz!" When no answer came, he turned to Amy "Do you have a key?" Amy shook her head. "Get your gun out." Amy frowned "I saw her motorcycle outside. She's either in here or..." he trailed off, unable to finish that horrible sentence. Bracing herself, Amy pulled her gun out and nodded at her mentor. With that, Holt lifted a single foot and gave the door a swift, hard kick, busting it open.

"Rosa!"

Amy ran frantically from room to room, until, eventually, she found Rosa on top of her bed, sheets crumbled in a ball on the floor. "She's in here!" Amy called over her shoulder, placing her gun back in her holster and taking a few tentative steps towards her girlfriend, who was almost completely naked except for an ill-fitting bra that had been partially ripped off. Her skin damp and clammy, hair sticking to her forehead, drool tumbling from her lips. "Is she oka-" Holt cut himself off as he spun around "I do apologise... I didn't mean to see your girlfriends' ... bosoms... or her..." he gestured "General vaginal area." Amy cringed slightly before grinning "I'd rather you than Jake."

"Can I leave you two alone?"

Amy looked back at Rosa, who, surprisingly, hadn't woken up yet. "Yeah. I'll be in in a bit, I just want to get he-" Holt held out a hand "Nonsense. You'll take off whatever time she has off. I'll assign your cases to Peralta, and we'll all see you both when Diaz is better." Amy opened her mouth to protest, but another sweeping glance at Rosa silenced her "Yes sir."

"I'll show myself out."

*

"Rosa?"

"Rosa?"

Amy reached out and gently shook her girlfriend awake. "Rosa, I need you to wake up." Rosa groaned, pulling away from Amy "I don't want to go to school, mum..." Amy stifled a giggle before gently shaking Rosa again, who, this time awoke with a start, crying out and sitting bolt upright, making Amy jump.

Rosa blinked a few times before realising that she was clutching her girlfriend by her blouse. Letting her go, she groaned, rubbing her forehead. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Amy smiled, "I got the day off to look after you."


	28. Supermarket flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll drive,” Amy whispered, wiping a tear off of Rosas’ cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in a weird mood - what can I say? 
> 
>  
> 
> Based on the song Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran

Rosa watched as her mums’ chest rose and fell steadily, wheezing a little through each breath. One of her sisters was sat opposite her, reading some passage from a bible. It was bullshit, but it’s what her mum wanted, and nobody in the family dared to ignore her wishes. Not even her dad, who was sat motionless in the corner of the room, lost in his own thoughts.

Rosa assumed the hardest part would be hearing her mums’ final choked breath - a completely unique sound that she had never heard before, but once she did, she instantly knew what it meant. It wasn’t. The hardest moment came when Rosa was left to clear up.Her family had offered to allow her to come with them to the mortuary, but it seemed pointless. She instead focused on the practicalities; taking the wilting flowers off the windowsill and throwing them in the bin, emptying the half-empty mug of tea into the sink, packing away clothes, toiletries, and other belongings into a suitcase, ready to take home. By the time Rosa had finished, the only things left were a few get well soon cards resting on the bedside table. 

“Hey.”

Rosa jumped as a hand slid over her left shoulder, curling around her collarbone, pulling her against something soft and warm. “Let’s go home.” Rosa paused before nodding; all of a sudden sick of the sight of the optimistic cards, turning around to see her girlfriend waiting for her. “I’ll drive.” She whispered, wiping a tear off of Rosas’ cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> Lemme know how you liked it <3
> 
> Also: I'm writing Amy / Rosa drabbles a lot so I decided to just put it in one big fic because then it just makes more sense. Each chapter is mainly unrelated unless stated otherwise. Rating and any archive warnings are listed at the start
> 
> Enjoy, leave comments and Kudus (AND PROMPTS!!!)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Kitten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18538408) by [Rachel3003](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel3003/pseuds/Rachel3003)




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